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Ed and Hank, Interlude 5, New Year’s Day (short) Shower the… - myeyesaintblue [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Feb. 17th, 2007|12:28 pm]
[music |Shower the people ya love with love...]

Ed and Hank, Interlude 5, New Year’s Day (short)

Shower the people ya love with love…

Disclaimer: Some swearin'. Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. $$: Sorry... Jus' cain't afford ta pay y'all to read it. Comments: Always appreciated.

Everything else is here:

Shower the people you love with love...

“M’ ass is cold…”

“Tha’s jus’ ‘cause ya been outside workin’… here… turn ‘round…like this…”


“Now it’s the front a me tha’s cold…”

“Well… try turnin’ this way…”

“Wha’? Cain’t jus’ ‘xpect me ta keep spinnin’ ‘round like some damn top…”

“Least-wise now I can tell ya fer certain tha’ I didn’ leave a mark on ya last nigh’…”

“Cain’t hardly believe tha’…”

“Here… switch with me…”



Ow… watch tha’ elbow a yers… swear… you got the sharpest elbows…”

“Compared ta whose?”

“How the hell should I know? Jus’ know they’re damn sharp.”

“Y' okay now…?”

“Yeah… ‘m okay. Better ‘n okay. This is kinda nice… real nice.”


“Yeah. Think I could get used ta this. C’mere, Hank…”


“Hey, Hank…?”

“Hmmm… Yeah, Ed?”

“Faucet's pokin’ me in the leg...”

“Here… take a step this way…"


"Tha’ better?”



“Hey, Hank?”

“……Yeah, Ed?”

“Know yer cold now…”

“Ain’t cold.”

“Yer lyin’… Can feel them goose bumps on yer ass.…”

“Okay… so maybe I’m a li’l cold… How ‘bout I go turn the heat up?”

“House is so damn drafty… jus’ be heatin’ the great outdoors.”

“Maybe we should think ‘bout insulatin’?”

“How much ya think tha’ would cost?”

“Well… tha’ depends... Think we got plenty in the attic… doubt there’s much a anythin’ ‘n them walls though.”

“So guess we’d hafta cut holes in all them walls ‘n have it blown in…Don’ sound cheap.”

“Ain’t nothin’ cheap no more.”

“Ain’ nothin’ never was cheap. ‘Sides… think maybe I’d miss tha’ breeze blowin’ through the house. Like the fresh air.”

“Figures ya would. Wha’ if’n we jus’ got one a them big shower heads tha’ would pull out from the wall ‘n cover the both a us from above?”

“Ain’t never seen nothin’ like tha’.”

“Know I seen somethin’ like tha’ somewheres...”

“Well… tha’ sure don’ help us righ’ now…”

“Here… maybe if’n ya move sideways like this…”

“Ain’t gonna fit sideways like tha’…”

“Yeah ya will… if’n ya put yer feet...”

“Maybe if’n I bend a l’il this way….”


Shit… y’okay, Ed?”

“Jeez… Hank… ya knocked me clear off balance there…”

“Least-wise I caught ya… Or ya coulda hit the floor jus’ like tha’ shower rod.”

“Didn’ never tell me this was gonna be dangerous…”

“Don’ think it gen’rally is… fer most folks…”

“Uh… Hank…?”

“Yeah, Ed?”

“Think ya migh’ lemme go so’s I could straighten up here?”

“Dunno if’n I wanna… kinda like this…”

“Didn’ ‘scape ma notice…”

“Should hope not.”

“But… dunno if’n you noticed…floor’s gettin’ awful wet…”

“Dunno if’n I much care…”

“Okay… but yer moppin’ up all tha’ water.”

“Fine by me…”

“Gettin’ ta be a righ’ big mess.”

“Don’ care…”

“Migh’ start seepin’ through ta the ceilin’ below…”


“Ya wanna try again after ya get tha’ water wiped up?”

“Nah… Maybe later I’ll get online 'n look fer one a them shower heads…”

“Yeah… Think I’d like tha’… kinda like ya all wet ‘n slippery...”

“Ya do, huh?”

“Yeah… wet ‘n slippery… or clean ‘n dry… or hot ‘n dirty… or hot ‘n sweaty… or hot ‘n buttery… or sweet ‘n syrupy… or light ‘n fluffy…”

“Ya hungry, Ed?”


“Ya wan’ pancakes? We could make pancakes.”

“Now tha’ ya mention it… guess I could go fer some pancakes.”

“Somehow thought tha’ migh’ be the case.”

“We got any buttermilk? Like them buttermilk ones.”

“Yep. Bought some when ya were sick. Thought ya’d be wantin’ pancakes sooner or later.”

“Thanks. Hey… what’re ya doin’?”

“Gonna put some clothes on… go make pancakes…”

“Think we better wait a l’il while… Jus’ ta be safe… Ya know wha’ they say ‘bout waitin’ an hour ta eat pancakes after ya shower with some fella…”

“Haven’t heard tha’ one. Thought it was wait an hour ta go swimmin’ after ya eat or you’ll cramp up ‘n sink like a stone.”

“Nah… Think tha’s an old wives tale… This one’s the true one.”

“So, what happens ta ya if’n ya don’ wait tha’ hour?”

“Dunno… but it prob’bly ain’t good.”

“Better ta be safe ‘n wait then… So… watcha wanna do fer tha’ hour?”

“Think I got an idea or two...”


“Did you hear somethin’?”

"No... I didn' hear nothin'."

"Think it's a truck..."

"Dammit... C'mon back here Ed..."

"Jus' gonna take a look..."

"Ain't no one there."

"Shit. Bill's here. Thought ya told him he could take yesterday 'n ta day off?"

"Yeah... but... I kinda invited him ta stop by anytime if'n he wanted ta... jus' ta visit. Sorry, Ed..."

"S'okay. Jus' wish he woulda come by a l'il later."

"Sure hope this mornin' ain't a sign a how the whole year's gonna go."

"Don' believe in signs or omens or all tha'... jus' buncha superstition."

"Ya think Bill will mind pancakes fer lunch?"

"Nah... but... don' think I wan' pancakes no more..."

"Why not?"

"'Cause Bill jus' got outta his truck carryin' a big ol' pie."

"S'pose tha' 'xplains tha' big ol' grin on yer face."

"Yep. Guess them signs migh' be pointin' ta a pretty good new year after all."

"Thought ya didn' believe in signs?"

"Don't. But know fer a fact any year startin' off with pie cain't be all bad."



[User Picture]From: huladavid
2007-02-18 12:50 am (UTC)
Oh geez.... Makes me think of that old "Far Side" cartoon: "blah, blah, blah, pancakes, blah, blah, pancakes..."
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-18 12:55 am (UTC)
Yeah... LOL! Guess Hank should have shortened it. He usually edits out a lot of their conversation, but this time he just wrote it ALL down...
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-18 02:22 am (UTC)
Okay... Hank took pity on future readers and took a chunk out.
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-02-18 03:24 am (UTC)

Put it back...

or the pie gets it. Now.

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From: (Anonymous)
2007-02-18 01:58 pm (UTC)
Oh no! That's not what I meant. Sorry. I just thought it was kinda endearing how the conversation always got back to pancakes. I worded wrongly.
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[User Picture]From: huladavid
2007-02-18 02:00 pm (UTC)
Sorry. Anono-boy was me
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-18 05:09 pm (UTC)
Hey there,
Don't worry about it at all. :D When I was trying to read it for typos for Hank it was making me a little dizzy (granted, that's not very hard to do) so I had already been thinking it should be shortened, but went ahead and posted it anyway. (And you have NO idea the true extent of the "blah, blah, blah..." I have to put up with with Ed and Hank.)
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-02-18 03:23 am (UTC)
See? SEE???

After that email I sent you, I waltz in here to find showerin' and pancakes and pie goin' on, and Bill to boot!!

Jus' makes my mouth water (I'll leave it to you to guess why! ;D), an' my belly hurt from laughin'.

Thanks so much for this, Hank. Keep on writin' it all down.

:still holding my tummy:

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-18 05:17 pm (UTC)
Hi J/L/K/B!
Glad they made you laugh! Thanks for the email too, I will write back soon.

Here's the part I took out, so that you don't have to wonder (It's missing some italics, but I'm sure you can figure out where they'd go):

"Hey, Ed?""Yeah, Hank?"

“Tha’ somethin’ new yer tryin’ out?”

“Nah… jus’ got ma foot tangled in this here sheet… tryin’ ta get it freed up.”

“Y’alrigh’ now?”


“Ya got a leg cramp?”

“… Shit…! Yeah… Ow..!. Dammit!”

“Try ‘n walk it out…”

“Wha’ the hell… Ow… does it look like… Shit... I’m doin’?”

“Wan’ me ta rub it?”

“Nah… jus' gotta walk... think it’s gettin’ better. Damn…”

“Prob’bly ‘cause ya been kinda dehydrated on account a bein’ sick… Be sure ta drink lots a water ta day.”

“Shit... Think yer Dr. Phil, now?"

“Jeez… ‘m jus’ tryin’ ta help… ‘Sides don’ think he’s one a them kinda doctors.”

“Could he call his self a ‘doctor’ if’n he weren’t one?”

“I dunno... He's prob’bly a doctor a psychology or somethin’ like tha’.”

“Somethin’ ‘bout tha’ man I jus’ don’ like.”

“Don' think we ever even seen tha’ TV show a his.”

“No… But seen him… ‘n he’s got them crazy eyes…”

“Why the hell are we talkin’ ‘bout Dr. Phil?”

“Dunno… yer the one tha’ brought him up.”

“Did not.”

"Coulda sworn ya did..."

“’Fraid this new year ain’t startin’ out very well…”

“Well… the year’s still awful young… think we can turn it ‘round if’n we try. Ya willin’ ta try?”

“I’m willin’ if’n you are.”

“Okay then...”

“’N if’n it don’ work this time we’ll jus’ go make some pancakes.”

“’S a deal…”

“C’mere, Ed.”


(After a little while longer is when Bill shows up.)

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[User Picture]From: midget_size
2007-02-18 05:27 am (UTC)
“Yeah… wet ‘n slippery… or clean ‘n dry… or hot ‘n dirty… or hot ‘n sweaty… or hot ‘n buttery… or sweet ‘n syrupy… or light ‘n fluffy…”

“Ya hungry, Ed?”

LOL! omg That is too funny.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-18 05:19 pm (UTC)
Hey there! Ed and Hank are always happy to make you laugh!
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From: cwby30
2007-02-18 05:53 am (UTC)



You did it again. Hilarious...you tell the story in their own words, and let it unfold...dripping wet...pancakes. pie...

Happy New Year indeed!!

Give Hank my thanks for writing it all down...and my sympathy at having to clean up the water...and at having a guest arrive at just the most inopportune time!!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-18 05:25 pm (UTC)

Re: Showerin...


Thanks. Mighty glad ya liked it. Was worried that it might be disappointing when their very first shower together didn't turn out quite like Hank hoped it would. (btw, Ed did relent and help Hank clean up all that water. :) )
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[User Picture]From: jennydcf
2007-02-18 05:22 pm (UTC)

Oh dear, LOL

Hank must have been frustrated, to write the whole thing down. But it's nice that Ed is working on the whole shower thing--though it doesn't seem to be quite as thrilling as Hank mighta thought. Well, not in the way Hank might have thought.:-)

Ed and the pancakes...I didn't fall off the chair, but it was a near thing. And then, just when he gets back on track, Bill shows up with pie! Good thing Hank likes pie, too. But I'm betting he'll be online right quick, lookin for that shower head.;-)

I'm always happy to see the boys--nothing like a "steamy" interlude!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-18 05:42 pm (UTC)

Re: Oh dear, LOL

I think Hank understands that any first time might be awkward and fumbling. He's just glad Ed is willing to try it again. (Hank is happy that he stopped short of making you fall off your chair... wouldn't want you getting hurt! After all, Ed came close enough to hitting the floor :) )
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[User Picture]From: joetheone
2007-02-19 06:34 am (UTC)
Hmm nice interlude, I have had the same trouble with my man for 12 years I have tried to get him in the shower with me and a few months ago when I finally did get him in their didn't we break the shower doors and flooded the floor that leaked to the family room and lead to a new ceiling and new carpet and now he wants new wallpaper oh what an expensive shower it was but it was fun. I think next time though it will be cheapter to rent a hotel room for such water fun. JOe
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-20 06:28 pm (UTC)
Hi Joe, LOL! Loved your shower story. At least it only took you 12 years to get your partner in there, but sorry to hear how expensive it ended up being. Glad it was still fun!
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-02-22 04:12 am (UTC)
LOL those two are SO cute. Trying to take a shower together. I think they need a bigger shower not only a showerhead.

too bad Bill showed up, I think they needed something to do during that hour they had to wait. Pancakes sound good, tell Hank to make extra :D
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-02-23 05:54 am (UTC)
They definitely need a bigger shower. :D Don't know if they can afford to remodel that old house of theirs though, so they might just have to settle for the new showerhead. Your welcome to stop by for pancakes anytime. Ed and Hank have always got the ingredients on hand and they always make plenty. (For some reason I can't figure out, Ed's pancakes are always a little better than Hanks.)
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