"Nah... Got tha' last book Iris sent me."
"But this one here says it's got Jesus givin' a guided tour a heaven... with pictures.
"Pull over here Hank."
"Looks like they're closed, Ed."
"Sorry, Ed... Looks like they're closed too."
"Jus' ain't ma day."
"Ain't seen tha' before, Hank. Everytime we drive this way
seems like there's somethin' new tha's been built out here where it don' belong."
"Yep. 'N now it looks like they took all the wildlife
'n killed 'em 'n stuffed 'em 'n put 'em in a wildlife museum.
Probab'ly chargin' folks a lot more'n a dollar 'n a half jus' ta see 'em."
"'N don' it always seem ta go tha' folks don' never know wha' they got 'til it's gone?"
"Tha's fer damn sure."
"Yep. They jus' keep pavin' paradise ta put up more parkin' lots."
"'N housin' developments 'n lots a other crap too."
"Jus' hope no big yellow taxi ever comes ta take 'way my old man."
"What the hell are ya talkin' 'bout Hank?"
"Nevermind. Just an old song. Love ya, dumbass.
"Hey, Ed there's yer fav'rite sign."
"Ain't ma fav'rite sign. Hate all them billboards muckin' up the views.
I jus' like wha' it means is comin' up.
Wide open spaces.
'N no more dumbass billboards. Least-wise fer a while."
Ed lost that shirt bet so he generally ain't driving,
but seeing as they're on vacation, he gets equal time behind the wheel.
When Ed's driving he won't stop at the scenic viewpoints.
So Hank takes pictures while they drive.
"Ya got a one-track mind, dontcha Hank?"
"Don' know wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed."
"Hey, Ed... Tha' sign remind ya a somethin'?"
"Better be careful, Ed."
"Why? Wha's wrong?"
"Sign on the rear-view says objects in the mirror are closer than they appears ta be.
'N I think tha' one particular object migh' be gainin' on ya."
"Yep... a one-track mind..."
And when Hank drives,
Ed sometimes takes pictures too.
But Ed isn't as good at taking pictures from a moving vehicle,
so Hank slows way down for him.
When he can.
But sometimes he can't.
"Ya wan' me ta walk where
"Jus' over ta tha' cliff. Stretch our legs a l'il."
"Musta passed a hundred diff'rent cliffs ta day. Wha' the hell is so special 'bout tha' one? Looks awful sandy too. Hate sand. This gonna be 'nother one a them death marches?"
"No. It ain't gonna be 'nother death march. Ain't tha' far... C'mon, Ed... coulda been halfway there already."
"Mighta known... More dick-shaped rocks. Swear ya've drug me ta every dick-shaped rock this side a the Missouri River. Cain't hardly believe ya found even more."
"Jus' like interestin' lookin' rocks. 'N ya'd be s'prised jus' how many is out there."
"Think yer nuts Hank. No pun intended."
"These are kinda disappointin' though. Ain't the nicest we ever seen. Remember some a them other rocks? Lotta them rocks were a lot nicer."
"I guess... Most a them were gen'rally bigger anyways... if'n tha's important ta ya."
Just a few photos from Hank's big ol' collection of pictures of interestin' rocks:
"Guess we better get goin'... 'S later than I thought."
"This whole campin' trip gonna be 'bout dick-shaped rocks?"
"Believe tha' when I see it."
"Ain't got nothin' planned
anyways. Never know wha' we migh' stumble 'cross though."
"Shadows are gettin' awful long... looks like we ain't gonna make it there 'fore dark."
"'N when it gets dark here, it gets awful dark."
"Better jus' take a spot in the campground. Be a lot easier. Too dark ta go lookin' fer one a them primitive spots."
"Shit... Hank. Don' wanna stay in a regular campground. Too many people. Ya migh' as well jus' set up camp in a Wal-Mart parkin' lot."
"Don' think it's no regular campground... 's real small... not more'n 15 sites."
"If'n it's tha' small 's prob'bly full-up."
"Well... there's the sign fer it 'n it don' say it's full. Prob'bly ain't as busy 'cause it's Sunday."
"Okay... but we're gonna move tomorrow."
"Don' understand ya Ed... While ago ya outed us... 'n Bill ta boot... ta them neighbors 'n now ya don' even wanna stay in a campground with me?"
"Jus' don' like bein' 'round so many folks. Too noisy. Kids yellin'. Doors slammin' all the time. Dogs barkin'."
"Seems awful quiet righ' now. How 'bout this site? Looks like it ain't near no one else. Last one 'fore the road loops back."
"Does seem purty big... 'n more off by itself. Wonder why ain't no one else in it? Maybe there's somethin' wrong with it."
"Ain't nothin' wrong with it. Think maybe them other sites got a view or somethin' 'n this one don'. Folks always take the sites with a view first, even if'n it means bein' righ' on top a someone else."
"Ya wan' me ta build a fire?"
"Nah. Don' seem too cold righ' now. 'Sides... stars are comin' out... lookit 'em all... a fire would jus' blot out our view of 'em."