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[Jul. 23rd, 2007|02:12 pm]

Road trippin' with Ed and Hank (8)

Fast or slow...

Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: PG-I  $$: Hank says he'll sing for gas money. (Ed says don' encourage him... Hank couldn' carry a tune in a five-gallon bucket.) Comments: Always appreciated.

Everything else is here: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html

Fast or slow...

"'Xactly how slow are ya goin', Ed?"

"Ain't goin' tha' slow.
Tha' woman were drivin' like a bat outta hell."

"Bat outta hell? Sure ya don' mean like a Bug outta hell?"

"Get tha' damn camera outta my face. 'M tryin' ta drive here."

"Ain't tryin' real hard."

"Saves on gas if'n ya don' go so fast.
'N we cain't afford no ticket."

"Police migh' pull ya over 'n give ya a ticket fer drivin' too slow."

"Ya in a hurry ta get somewheres, dumbass?"

Won' know 'til we get there
'n at this rate it looks like tha' ain't never gonna happen."

"This here truck feels like it's gettin' a lot smaller ta me."

"Prob'bly be closed by the time we get there."

"What'll be closed?"

"Whatever it is 'm in such a hurry ta get ta."

"Yep. A whole lot smaller. Truck's closin' in on me but good."

"Or it'll be dark by the time we get there
so's I won' have no way a knowin' where we are
or if'n I even wanna be there at all."

"So... 'xactly how long do ya figure it'd take ya ta walk there?"

"Prob'bly get there 'bout ten minutes 'fore you do."

"'N 'bout how long ya figure it'd take us ta get back home
if'n I turned this here truck 'round?"

"Ya'd have ta stop sooner or later 'n then I'd jus' turn it back 'round again."

"Shit... Think 'm gettin' a big ol' headache...
Migh' hafta slow down a l'il more."

"Maybe I jus' better put a cd in 'n we can listen ta music fer a while."

"Tha's prob'bly a righ' good idea."



"Wha' the hell's takin' ya so long?"

"Jus' tryin' ta find the righ' one... Don' know if'n we got it along...
Prob'bly don't... Ain't no reason we would...
Iris found it used 'n sent it ta us...
One a them 'best of' cds...
Wait a second...
Here it is..."

"So's jus' put the damn thing in..."

"Want a certain song...
checkin' wha' number it is..."

"Jus' put the damn thing in...
Whatever song ya wanna hear'll play sooner or later."

"'S number twelve...
Lemme get it goin'... There..."


"As the midnight moon, was driftin' through
The lazy sway of the trees,
I saw the look in yer eyes, lookin' inta the night
Not seein' what they wanted to see
Darlin' don' say a word, I've already heard,
What yer body's sayin' ta mine,
You got a fast move, you got a slow groove, on your mind.
You want a man with a slow hand, you want a lover with a easy touch
You want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated russhh
Baby, believe me, I understand, when it comes ta love
You want a slow hand"

"Think tha's real funny, dontcha?"

"Don' got no idea wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed."

"How the hell do ya even know all the words ta tha' dumbass song?"

"Ev'rybody old 'nough knows the words ta tha' dumbass song...
Whether they wanna or not..."

"Well, I don'."

"Yeah ya do. Ya jus' won' admit it...
...Moon shadowed ground, with no one around
'n the blanket of stars in our eyes
Hey we’re driftin' free, like two lost leaves
On the crazy wind of the night
Darlin', don' say a word I already heard
What yer body's sayin' ta mine
If you want all night, you know it's all right, yeah, I got time.
You want a man with a slow hand, you want a lover with a easy touch."

"Keep them hands ta yer self, Hank...
yer gonna make me drive inta a tree or somethin'."

"You want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated russhh
Baby, believe me, I understand, when it comes ta love
You want a slow hand
You want a lover with a easy touch
You want somebody who will spend some time with you baby
Not come and go in a heated russhh
Baby, believe me I understand, when it comes to love
you want a slo-o-ow hand..."

"You 'bout finished?"

"Nope. Jus' gettin' started.
Think maybe I'll play tha' song again."


"Y'okay over there, Ed?
Ya seem a l'il fidgety or somethin'."

"'M fine."

"Whoa... Think ya mighta sped up some, Ed."
Ya in a hurry ta get somewheres?"


Later that day..


"Love is a burning thing
and it makes a firery ring

bound by wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire...

I fell in to a burning ring of fire...
I went down, down, down...
and the flames went higher

and it burns, burns, burns...

the ring of fire
the ring of fire

da  da  da  da  da  da  da...

da  da  da  da  da  da  da....

da  da  da  da  da  da  da...

da  da  da  da  da  da  da...

I fell in to a burning ring a fire

I went down, down,  down

and the flames
went  higher


it  burns,

 burns,  burns

the ring of fire, the ring of fire

And  it  burns,

burns,  burns,

the ring of fire

the ring of fire

the ring of fire

the ring
of fire


"Hank... Damn..."

"You can say tha' again..."


"Guess tha' heated rush can be real good too..."


"Sometimes tha' slow hand jus' won' do..."


"Y'okay, Ed?"


"You don' hafta keep repeatin' 'damn'..."


"C'mere, dumbass..."





"Ya know somethin', Hank...?"


"Only time I really miss smokin' is right after..."

"Know watcha mean...
Sure could go fer a cigarette righ' 'bout now."

"Real glad we quit though."

"Me too."


A couple of days later...

"Called home. Bill 'n Betty say 'Hey'. Everythin's okay. Dogs are okay.
Sure do miss them dogs. 'N I got some groceries.
Ya almos' done usin' tha' computer?"

"Got anythin' else ya can do?
'S gonna take me a l'il while longer ta finish up
'n post it online..."

"Shit. C'mon, Hank...
Thought ya jus' did tha' a couple a days ago?"

"I did. But don' know when I'll get online again after this.
Migh' be a l'il while."

"Ya always say tha' 'n then ya always manage ta get online somewheres."

"Thought ya'd be glad ta be rid a me 'n be on yer own fer a while."

"Ain't much else open this late in this here town. Guess I'll find somethin'...
Lemme see wha' yer doin' 'fore I go..."

"Help yer self."

"Ya absolutely sure Iris ain't readin' no more?"

"Ya ask me tha' ev'ry time I've posted since she left...
'N I tell ya ev'ry time... Iris. Ain't. Readin'. It. No. More. Promised she wouldn'.
Ya trust yer own daughter, dontcha?"

"Guess so."

"Well, she'll be happy ta read tha'."

"Dammit, Hank..."

"Ya know 'm jus' kiddin', Ed. Iris ain't readin' it no more."

"Good. Now lessee wha' yer up ta here...
Shit... So's tha's why ya were takin' them pictures
a tha' earthquake sign 'n tha model a tha' there volcano."

"Yep. Made me think a you."

"Made the earth move fer ya, did I?"

"Yep. Real strong lateral blast it was. How 'bout you...?
Wouldn' wanna mislead the folks readin'...
Earth move fer you too?"

"Think I mighta felt somethin'."

"Ya mighta, huh?"

"Yeah. I'd say it were 'bout a 9.9 on tha' there Richter scale."

"Not a ten, huh?"

"Nope. Not a ten.
...'Course ain't no one ever recorded no ten 'fore..."

"Guess tha' gives me somethin' ta aim fer."

"Lookin' forward ta yer next attempt.
...Hey... Ya ain't gonna pretend like ya took
tha' one picture a tha' St. Helens Mountain eruptin', are ya?"

"Think folks'll know tha' I didn' take tha' one withou' me havin' ta tell 'em."

"Sure was amazin'...
Seein' tha' volcano smokin' like tha'."

"Yep. Tha' was somethin'...
'N after all them years hardly nothin' growin' yet but flowers."

"Lots a flowers.
'N seein' all them downed trees...
Tha' sign said the blast were near 700 miles per hour
when tha' mountain blew its top."

"Think I know how them trees musta felt...
Tha's how fast ya come at me when we finally found a campsite
tha' nigh' 'fore we got there."

"Seem ta recall it were you comin' at me."

"Let's jus' say there were two bodies in motion.
Or more like two bodies collidin'..."

"Not tha' it ain't real fittin'...
but didn' ya use tha' 'Ring a Fire' song 'fore?"


"Start repeatin' yer self 'n folks migh' stop readin'."

"'M hopin' folks won' mind. It were a long time ago."

"Guess they'll understand tha's bound ta happen when ya get older...
Repeatin' yer self 'n all..."

"Older, huh?
Wha' happened ta 'jus' seein' tha' boy ya fell heels over head fer'?

Guess ya didn' mean tha' after all."

"Meant it all righ'.
Tha's alls I ever see when I look atcha.
...'Course tha' don' mean yer mind ain't slowin' down some."

"My mind is jus' fine, dumbass."

"...'Course parts a me are slowin' down some too..."

"Ya don' say?"

"Yep. Mainly m' hand. Think I got me one a them slow hands.
Could be both of 'em even. Tongue too poss'bly."


"'Well... Guess I oughta be goin'...
Leave ya alone ta do yer computerin' 'n whatnot..."


"Thought ya were gonna post or whatever ya call it."


"Don' wanna rush ya none. Ya know s'alrigh.
We got all nigh'. We got time."


"Don' got no idea wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Hank."


"Okay, okay...If'n yer sure...
Guess we could go 'n see if'n we can move some a tha' there earth again.
Real slow-like this time."


"More like them volcanoes in Hawaii, maybe.
Saw a show on TV once... Few years back... Real interestin' it were...
Comparin' them kinda volcanoes with..."


"Ya don' wanna talk 'bout them Hawaiian volcanoes?
Thought you'd be goin' on 'bout how much ya wanna see 'em 'n all."


A few minutes later...

"Told ya I shoulda driven."

"Got off with justa warnin' least-wise."

"Only 'cause tha' cop thought you were good-lookin'."

"Nah. Think she thought you were the cute one."

"Don' think so. Way she were flirtin' with ya...
'N you were flirtin' with her...

"Still think it were you."

"Okay... Let's jus' say we're both cute as hell.
Now slow down dumbass, 'fore ya get pulled over again."

And later that night...







"Damn... Hank... Damn..."

""Tha' were definitely somethin'..."

"Think I passed out fer a minute there."

"Know I did."

"...Jeez... 'S real late...
Ya wan' me ta put on some clothes
'n ask them folks ta turn down their music?
They keep playin' tha' same song over 'n over again."

"Nah... Ain't all tha' loud. 'N I sure enjoyed it durin'...
Think I can sleep through it now.
Think you can, Ed?

"Think I could sleep through jus' 'bout anythin' righ' now.
'Sides... I liked it durin' too."

"Guess they must be in love."

"Like us."

"Yeah. Like us."


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[User Picture]From: samtyr
2007-07-24 02:01 am (UTC)
I love this road trip! And the pics are very enlightening as well! ;)
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 07:27 pm (UTC)
Glad you're enjoying the trip! (And the pics)
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-07-24 02:37 am (UTC)
I love your visuals. and the road trip. wish I was with them. (though I know they want to be alone) I'll have to listen to the you tubes tomorrow when I can listen to it on safari I'm on netscape
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 07:44 pm (UTC)
Hey there,
Ed and Hank are alone so much that I'd bet they'd welcome the company if you tagged along for a while... That is if you don't mind all the camping and mosquitoes and whatnot... :)
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-07-28 07:59 pm (UTC)
I'll bring a can of OFF :D
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 08:13 pm (UTC)
Perfect! Ed and Hank forgot to bring any and Ed's convinced he's going to get the West Nile virus.
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-07-28 11:45 pm (UTC)
OY make that deep WOODS off :D tell Ed not to be worried. Those buggers will never get near him, not with me around. They see me and I'm like DINNER to them :(

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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-07-24 03:25 am (UTC)
Hiya, 'Blue!

This was great, as usual. But I still have a few things to say (naturally!).
First, tell Hank I will send gas money for him NOT to sing.

Second, I learned to drive on a VW bug and if Ed was driving slower than that bug driver was pedaling, then Hank had reason to complain.
"So... 'xactly how long do ya figure it'd take ya ta walk there?"
"Prob'bly get there 'bout ten minutes 'fore you do."

Heheeheh!! Pushing that bug, even.

An' about them slow hands and heated rushes, well, boys, I havta agree with your opinions on that. Two of my favorite things, come to think on it.

Ed, it was sure nice to see you get the best of Hank conversationally fer once. I purely love to watch you tease him.

Those last two pics were just gorgeous. 'Blue, there will be serious consequences if you don't send me those two mountain pictures in a bigger size (Yup, I like the bigger ones!) for my collection. I might even cry in my pie. Ed wouldn't like that. It'd be a waste.

Well, y'all have fun now on that trip, an' be safe. Sure wish I was ridin' along with ya.

::abundant hugs for all::

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 08:02 pm (UTC)
Hiya J/L/D!
Hank has not sung in a few days. Please send money. ;D (Okay, I lied, Hank is still singing as often and as off-key as ever.)

LOL - Love that you learned to drive on a VW bug! (But in Ed's defense that bug was flying. Must have been souped up on somethin'.)

Glad you enjoyed it. And you're right - Ed will not allow any crying in your pie, so I'll send you those pictures as soon as I can. (Hank must confess that he cropped the flower one some 'cause it looked so small on his laptop, so I'll send the uncropped version and the cropped version.)

Many hugsbackatcha,

P.S. Hank also has to confess that Ed took the flower picture. Hank doesn't have the patience to take pictures like that. (He's more of a point and shoot kind of guy. ;)

P.P.S. Maybe next time we should rent a big ol' van and everyone should come along road trippin'.

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[User Picture]From: jennydcf
2007-07-24 04:04 am (UTC)


I worked hard to consign Slow Hand to the darkest, least-used vaults of memory. But did you care? No!!!:-) Nevertheless, I read on, cheered by Ring of Fire (I do like Johnny) and the lovely, non-erupting pictures of Mt. St. Helens. And I love it when Ed turns the tables on Hank: "...'Course parts a me are slowin' down some too..."

"Ya don' say?"

"Yep. Mainly m' hand. Think I got me one a them slow hands.
Could be both of 'em even. Tongue too poss'bly."


"'Well... Guess I oughta be goin'...
Leave ya alone ta do yer computerin' 'n whatnot..."


They definitely are both cute as hell.:-) Better be sending Iris regular postcards, though. Otherwise she might just surf by to see how they're doin and end up scarred for life by falling off the chair laughing at Hank's visual and auditory metaphors.

You guys drive safe, now!
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From: ankara28
2007-07-25 10:11 am (UTC)

Re: Earworms!

Just never ,ever get enough of Ed and Hank,Some day I
hope somebody takes a picture of them, what a treat to
be able to see that loving pair.In the meantime I use my imagination. Wonderful as always and the pictures, perfect.
Thank you for taking me on pleasant trip with great
company and beautiful scenery.

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 08:28 pm (UTC)

Re: Earworms!

Thanks and glad you're still enjoying the trip! Hank would love to include their picture with the story, but Ed would kill him. Dead. Seriously.

(I bet your imagination is doing a real good job of filling in the blanks though. :) )

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 08:23 pm (UTC)

Re: Earworms!

Hank would like to apologize for using "Slow Hand", but he just can't. He started out just wanting to irritate Ed more, but was pleasantly surprised by the unexpected amorous effect it had on him. Glad you enjoyed Johnny Cash though. He's Ed's favorite. And Ed loves it when he turns the tables on Hank too.

If Iris is still reading I'm afraid that it's going to be Hank who ends up scarred for life (courtesy of Ed).
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[User Picture]From: joycedavenport
2007-07-24 02:08 pm (UTC)
Glad the boys can still blow each others tops! Glad they didn't get a ticket. Would like to see any female police officer even trying to write a ticket with those two sets of eyes on her.Would probably still get away with it on the grounds of illegibility!

Hope Hank continues to have luck in getting online. Glad to be seeing America with them.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 08:34 pm (UTC)

Re: like us

LOL! Yes, they still are purty good at blowin' each other's... uh... tops.

Hank's real glad they didn't get a ticket too, since Ed would no doubt have gotten ticked off with him and it might have ruined the evening. And possibly the next day. And the day after that.

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From: ellenlj
2007-07-24 02:33 pm (UTC)

like us

get all swoony when cowboys admit they're in love... thank you!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-07-28 08:44 pm (UTC)

Re: like us

Yeah, I get all swoony when cowboys admit they're in love too. Ed objected to Hank putting that part in because after he saw it written down later he thought he sounded too lame, (the song must have brought it out in him), but Hank insisted.
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[User Picture]From: bronctastic
2009-12-15 04:27 pm (UTC)
Good to see yer boys made it up to the Great NorthWet. They got here for a bit 'o our good weather too, I see. Mostly our mountains hide, like today. Cain't tell there's a 14,410'er just a piece from here 'cuz 'o the clouds. 'Course if'n it go'ed off, people'd know it all the way to Puyallup and Seattle. Hope Hank n' Ed liked it up here. Got o' bit o' inspiration, I see.

(Of course I just outed myself. Since I'm from up HERE, there's no way I have such an odd accent. At least not when I want people to understand me.)

Love your work. Glad I found it.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2009-12-18 07:44 pm (UTC)
You live in a gorgeous part of the country. Ed and Hank loved it up there! It's pretty much the opposite down here, but still real purty.

(And yes, they sure did find some inspiration.)
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