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Road Trippin' with Ed and Hank (12) Freeway of love...… - myeyesaintblue [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Aug. 29th, 2007|09:24 am]
[music |Our house is a very, very, very fine house with two dogs in the yard...]

Road Trippin' with Ed and Hank (12)

Freeway of love...

Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating:  PG-S (For 'Sappy'. It's all Ed's fault. Well... not all... but he started it.) $$: Nope. Comments: Always appreciated.

Freeway of love...

"Hey, Ed...?"

"Yeah, Hank...?"

"I been thinkin'..."

"Thought we agreed
ya wouldn' do tha' no more?"
"Know I sure as hell have made fun of 'em
'nough over the years...

"What're ya talkin' 'bout...?"

"Think 'm beginnin' ta see the up side
 a ownin' one a them RVs."

"No way."

"Jus' hear me out..."


"C'mon, Ed... Think 'bout it...
We could jus' hop on in 'n take care a things righ' proper-like
whenever tha' ol' urge hits..."

"Ferget about it."

"'N we'd have a real bed 'n runnin' water
'n whatnot..."

"Got 'long jus' fine withou' no whatnot fer a lotta years now.
Don' need no whatnot now."

"Some a them can be purty interestin' lookin'..."

"Don' give a damn wha' they look like."

"Okay... But...
We'd be able ta get 'way from mosquitoes...
Know how ya hate them mosquitoes.
Remember how bad they were
a couple a weeks ago?"

"Ya had us camped in a swamp, dumbass.
Be lucky if'n I don' get tha' West Nile Virus 'n keel over."

"Think ya woulda keeled over by now
if'n ya were gonna. 'Sides... it were dark when we got there.
Didn' have no idea it were a swamp 'til mornin'."

"Think the eighty billion mosquitoes
mighta tipped ya off."

"'N we'd be able ta have more privacy...
'n get outta the rain
or the heat or the cold."

We migh' as well stay in a motel.
How many nights in a motel ya figure we could get
fer the cost a one a them plus all the extra gas we'd be usin'?
'N we need them trucks, but buyin' an RV don' seem real respons'ble...
'N then there's all the cost a keepin' the damn thing up
 'n the cost a repairin' it when it's broke down
'n the cost a parkin' it somewheres
 with them hook-ups..."

"Ain't looked inta the specifics. 'Sides...
A trailer migh' not be so 'xpensive. Gas-wise or otherwise.
'N we could get somethin' used."

"'N I'd like ta see ya take one a them down some a them roads
 we go down back home."

"Seen folks take 'em down some purty rough roads."

"Yeah... 'Cause folks are crazy.
'Sides... them things are explodin' all the time."

"When ya take inta account how many are out there...
ain't really tha' many explodin'
on any given day."


"Jus' think 'bout it fer a while 'fore ya say 'no'
right off..."

"Don' need ta think 'bout it...

...Ain't no way 'n hell we're drivin' a damn house
'round the damn country."

A few minutes later...

"Hey, Hank...?"

"Yeah, Ed...?"

"Uh... I been thinkin' some too..."

"'Bout wha'?"

"Know how I said... It were a while ago now...
Know how I said I didn' wan' us gettin' no kinda matchin' rings...
on accounta we migh' get 'em caught up on somethin'
'n maybe end up rippin' our fingers
clean off...?"

"Kinda hard ta ferget tha'..."

"Well... Think I migh' be willin' ta risk it...
Gettin' a finger ripped off 'n all..."


"Yeah... If'n ya think 'bout it...
We wear gloves when we're workin' most a the time anyways...
So's it shouldn' be too dangerous."

"Reckon yer righ'."

"Would jus' wan' somethin' real plain though...
Justa gold or silver band is all...
...If'n ya'd still wanna...
'tha' is..."

"Yeah. I'd still wanna."


A minute later...

"Hey, Ed...?"


"Wha' made ya change yer mind...?"

"...I dunno...
Maybe jus' noticin' other folks' rings...
I like them watches we got a lot... A whole lot...
But... jus' wan' somethin'... somethin' I can see I guess...
when I look atcha I mean. Cain't look atcha 'n see tha' watch...
'S always in yer pocket. A ring I could see.
On me too...
Ya know...?"

I know 'xactly wha' ya mean.
But... Ya do know tha' everybody else'll
be able ta see 'em too...

"Yeah... I thought 'bout tha'...
Travelin' like this... Ain't hardly no one been payin' us no mind.
'N back home... Well... I guess it jus' wouldn' be
none a their damn business...
Now would it?"

"Nope. 'S nobody's business but ours."

kinda seems like it'd... I dunno...
Know it ain't nothin' legal-like... but still...
seems like maybe it'd mean more... or somethin'...
Havin' rings 'n all..."

"Yeah... I think it would too."

"...So... Uh...
Ya maybe wanna turn on the radio or somethin'...?
Find some good drivin' music..."

"Sure, Ed."


"We've only just begun to live, white lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way


Ya cain't leave it on tha'..."

"Why not...?
After all... seems kinda appropriate 'n all...
C'mon, Ed... sing 'long with me."

No way.
Tha' song's fer young folks...
Sappy young folks..."

"No it ain't, dumbass...
Song's so old it's more fer old folks these days... Sappy old folks.
So's get yer damn hand away from the damn radio..."

"White lace...? Shit."

"How 'bout black leather then?"


"We've only begun.
Before the risin' sun, we fly. So many roads to choose
We'll start out walkin' and learn to run."

"Ain't runnin' nowheres.
'Cept maybe away from yer singin'..."

"And yet, we've just begun.
Sharing horizons that are new to us.
Watching the signs along the way."

"Yeah... you ain't too good 'bout watchin' them road signs..."

"Talkin' it over, just the two of us. Workin' together day to day."

"Or workin' neither..."

"And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead. We'll find a place where there's room to grow.
And yes, we've just begun...

"Hate ta break this to ya Hank...
But it ain't like we jus' begun... 'S real far from it."

"Think maybe it jus' depends on how ya look at it.
Hey, Ed... Take this here exit..."

"Why? Ain't nothin' there."

"I know. Jus' take it, dumbass."

"Okay... Okay..."

"...Pull over here..."


"Ain't no one nearby...
Jus' wanna get tha' there 'kiss fer luck'...
'fore we get on our way again."

"I don' think..."

"C'mere, Ed..."





"Hank... I... Ya know I...
More 'n I..."

"Yeah... I know, Ed...
You know I do too, dontcha...?"

"Yeah. I know."





"Ya know, Ed... If'n we had a trailer
we could get real comf'rtable righ' 'bout now 'n..."

"Yer nuts, Hank...
Ya cain't jus' pull off at a freeway exit 'n..."

"Why the hell not?
Ya see folks pulled off all the time..."

"'N ya think they're all havin' sex?"

"Just assumed..."

"Ya don' think them highway patrol fellas migh' come knockin'
ta see if'n we're havin' engine trouble?"

"We could get one a them 'Do Not Disturb' signs
'n hang it on the door..."

"Think maybe
we been travelin' too long
'n ya mighta gone a l'il campground crazy...
Ya don' really wan' one a them RVs
or one a them trailers,
do ya, Hank...?"

"No... I guess I don'... 'N yer righ'...
Think maybe it's jus' been too long since we had
a real roof over our heads. 'N I think I migh' be missin' our bed.
A lot... A whole lot... Ain't nothin' like bein' in our bed...
In our room. In our house. On our ranch.
RV or trailer wouldn' be nothin'
like tha' neither."

"Cain't believe yer the one
gettin' all homesick..."

"Me neither.
S'posed ta be you."

'N I do miss all tha' a lot...
Our bed. 'N our house. 'N our ranch.
'N Bill 'n them dogs 'n them
horses too..."


"Ya know... We can head home...
if'n ya wanna, Hank."

"Thanks, Ed... But 'm okay.
"Wha' 'bout you?"

"'M okay too."

"Okay, then...
Let's switch... 'S my turn ta drive."

"No way...
I ain't hardly been drivin' at all."

"You been drivin' fer a couple a hours easy."

"Hank... Get back in the damn truck."

"I ain't gettin' back in 'lessen
ya let me drive."

"'N I ain't gettin' outta the driver's seat
so's you'd jus' better get yer
dumb ass back
in here."


Wha' the hell are ya doin'?
Stop it, Hank..."

"Seein' as ya won' get out... thought I'd jus' climb in
'n sit on yer lap 'n drive..."

"Cut it out...
Ouch... Dammit...



"Lemme outta here..."

"Where ya goin', Ed...?"

"Ya know you can be real irritatin' sometimes..."

"Yep. I know."

"Least-wise now I get ta pick
the music anyways..."

"Lemme guess... Yer gonna put in a Johnny Cash cd.
A boy named Sue falls inta a burnin' ring a fire
'n then gets married in a fever hotter
than a pepper sprout.
In prison."

"Nope... Think I'll jus' see wha's on the radio...
...Nah... ...Ugh... ...Nah... ...Nah...
Ain't gettin' but a few stations...
maybe I better put
in a cd..."

"Go back ta tha' last one...
Tha' were tha' oldies station."


"This it?"

Tell ya one thing...
If'n tha's a real DJ... 'n not justa tape recordin'...
I think he mus' be in love. You can always tell when they're in love...
or when they jus' split up with someone...
by the songs they're playin'."

"Guess so...
'S a real purty song."

"Ya like this one, huh?
Sure it ain't too sappy fer ya?"

Jus' sappy 'nough."

"Think yer righ'."

"Hey, Hank...?"


"If not fer you...
I'd a never seen a goddamn thing.
'N no way in hell I'd be thinkin' 'bout gettin' rings.
I'd be sad 'n blue... If not fer you."

"Thanks, Ed."

"Got 'nother one...
If not fer you...
I never woulda loved fer real.
Or maybe even know'd 'xactly how I feel.
I woulda jus' stayed confused...
if not fer you."

"Jeez, Ed...
Now lemme do one fer you..."


"If not fer you...
I still woulda know'd that I were gay
But no other fella coulda mattered anyways
'cause I'd be sad 'n blue...
if not fer you."

"Tha's purty bad Hank...
'N bringin' 'nother fella inta it...?

"Sorry, Ed...
Lemme try again..."


"If not fer you...
I'd a never know'd wha' true love means
'N I'd still be poor 'n eatin' beans
I wouldna had no clue...
if not fer you."

"Love ya, dumbass."

"Love you too, dumbass."

"Where we headed now, Hank?"

"How the hell should I know?
Yer the one tha's got
the map."


"If not for you my sky would fall. Rain would gather too
Without your love I'd be nowhere at all...


counter hit make

[User Picture]From: jennasts
2007-08-29 07:10 pm (UTC)
I can always count on Ed and Hank to brighten my day. I didn't even mind it when they were spouting politics! I'm glad they're having so much fun on this trip and, boy, do I ever wish I were with them!

Thanks so much for telling us their story!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 03:27 am (UTC)
Thanks! Glad Ed and Hank brightened your day and glad you're enjoying the trip too!
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[User Picture]From: phoebe2680
2007-08-29 07:27 pm (UTC)
I'm still head over heels in love with Ed and Hank!! They are just too adorablefor words! And funny!! Thank you for making me laugh, and sigh, and swoon. :D

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 03:28 am (UTC)
Happy to hear you're still enjoying Ed and Hank's story! Thanks!
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[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2007-08-29 08:22 pm (UTC)
Awwwwww, these guys!

Hank, ya know you're one of my two favorite uncles, right? So please don't take this wrong, but I'm gonna haveta side with Ed (my other favorite uncle) on the trailer matter. Take it from an experienced travel-trailer camping survivor - you do NOT want to be hauling one of those behind your truck/car on some of those Rocky Mountain/Grand Teton/Sierras roads and/or highways. My parents, God bless them, hauled us four kids DOWN KINGSBURY GRADE in a station wagon pulling an Airstream.... I greatly suspect that's how I acquired my dislike for mountain roads and switchbacks....

Stick to tents, fellas -- if ya need one, I got one: used once in Minnesota last month, will probably never be set up again. An' if ya come pick it up in person, I'll throw in an air mattress and pump....

*Lotsa HUGS for Ed 'n Hank 'n Blue*

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 03:35 am (UTC)
Ed and Hank have been up the Kingsbury Grade but never down it. (Up is never as bad) That would be something with a trailer... Something Ed definitely wouldn't want to experience. (But that Airstream must have been pretty cool!)

So Hank doesn't blame you for siding with Ed on the trailer. Now... don't go giving away your tent so quick-like... You never know... you might use it again. :)

P.S. Have you ever seen that old movie 'The Long, Long Trailer' with Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball? :D

Lots of hugs backatcha!
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From: ankara28
2007-08-29 08:27 pm (UTC)
Just came back from a trip into Ennis' and Jacks Country.
Thinking about Ed and Hank and there trip and seeing the sights through there eyes it was an unforgettable vacation.
Thank you for bringing Ed and Hank into my live,
they have become so very special to me, thank you.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 03:41 am (UTC)
Happy to hear that you had a great trip! And thanks for taking Ed and Hank along with you in spirit. (It means a lot to them.)
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[User Picture]From: jennydcf
2007-08-29 08:55 pm (UTC)

I'm with Ed

The Carpenters are too sappy, but "If not for you" is just right. Like Ed's extra verses, too. Hank--well, I'd say he should stick to the harmonica, but I don't think Ed would ever forgive me.:-) I like Hank's masterful summing up of the Johnny Cash oeuvre, though, despite the fact that I love Johnny's music.

Rings, hunh? Bet Hank teared up a little over that, even if he didn't let on. 'Cause it's one thing to know, and it's another to know that your partner is willing to let other people see that it's so. It's Ed saying that he's at peace with who he is and who Hank is, and he doesn't have any shame left about it, I think.

And in the end, home is where your heart is, and as long as they're together, they're always home. (I can just hear Ed sayin, "Yeah, but home's where our bed is, too.", and Hank sayin, "So about that RV..." :-D)

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 03:55 am (UTC)

Re: I'm with Ed

Have to apologize... Hank's been awful lazy about writing down anything descriptive. But you're right, he did get choked up when Ed suggested they get rings. (That's why it took Hank a minute to be able to ask Ed why he changed his mind.) But he also knew that Ed wouldn't want him making a big deal out of it. So he tried his best not too.

And Hank really does like Johnny Cash too... It's just that Ed had been playing their Johnny Cash cds a little too often...

Glad you liked Ed's extra verses. (Although, yes, now he is slightly peeved that you reminded Hank of the whole harmonica thing.) And Hank promises to try and stay away from making up any more song lyrics or verse, etc... :D
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From: (Anonymous)
2007-08-30 12:37 am (UTC)

This story is pure joy. So sweet and funny. I get a kick out of their banter, and jibes. It is like all old married people do..Tease and laught and antagonize each other to stop the boredom on the road of life.
Thank you for another chapter. They are right about the RV though..its a handy dandy traveling way. I love the little wooden house, but you know them things are heavy...lots of gas these days to drive those. janice
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 04:02 am (UTC)
Thanks! So glad you're enjoying the trip!
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-08-30 12:39 am (UTC)

Where's my bumper sticker?

Hey, Dumbass!! ::hugs::

I have a strict "No Bumper Sticker" rule for my car, but this one is necessary. I'll expect it soon. VERY soon.

Until I receive it, I will periodically break into song, like now. And Hank's voice has NOTHING on mine..;D

If not for 'Blue
We wouldn't even know these guys
Might not have understood how wise
It is to love what's TRUE
If not for 'Blue.

If not for 'Blue
We'd never know the story's real
Two Dumbasses can really feel
A love that grew and grew
If not for 'Blue.

If not for 'Blue there's no HankTheDog
EdTheDog would be goo
We'd miss out on some interestin' rocks
and some horny seastars too.

If not for 'Blue
There'd be some funny stories missed
And lots of us would sure be pissed
We'd miss the pictures too
If not for 'Blue.

If not for 'Blue
I never would have laughed so hard
Done the Hustle in my own front yard
I'd be poorer, true,
For not knowing 'Blue.

Love you, Dumbass.

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[User Picture]From: jennydcf
2007-09-01 04:58 am (UTC)

Re: Where's my bumper sticker?

That is simply brilliant! I think 'Blue should wait a bit longer on sending you the bumper sticker if it makes you write songs like that.:-) Of course, now I'm curious about what the bumper sticker says--I don't have any, either. Must be pretty good if you're workin on lyrics like these in order to get it.
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-09-01 11:37 am (UTC)

Re: Where's my bumper sticker?

Aw, thanks, Jenny!

The bumper sticker I want is an autographed "ED + HANK (heart". That's worth writing for. ;D

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 04:28 am (UTC)

Re: Where's my bumper sticker?

Love the lyrics, Laly! Thanks! That is just so sweet of you.

And Ed and Hank and I would LOVE to see you doing the hustle in your own front yard. Please send video footage.

P.S. If those bumper stickers ever exist for real, you'll be the first to get one. (Btw... Hank will be happy to join you in periodically breaking into song. Although I don't think Ed will be too happy about it.)

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From: forevermare
2007-08-30 02:52 am (UTC)
"Got 'long jus' fine withou' no whatnot fer a lotta years now. Don' need no whatnot now." I like that word 'whatnot': "Honey, I need some money to go to the store." "For what?" "Oh, you know...whatnot." Just substitute "whatnot" for anything from a box of tissues to a 50-inch plasma screen TV. Works for me. My husband will never know what hit 'im. Thanks for the tip, Hank.

"If not fer you...I never woulda loved fer real. Or maybe even know'd 'xactly how I feel. I woulda jus' stayed confused...if not fer you." Awww, Ed! I didn't know you had it in you to wax poetic.

These guys are just so lovable I want to jump into my computer and squeeze 'em!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 04:48 am (UTC)
LOL! Love the idea of using 'whatnot' for a 50-inch plasma screen TV. Hank may borrow the idea since he and Ed only have a 19-inch set (with rabbit ears, even) They are hopelessly behind the times. (Of course, Ed likes it that way.)

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[User Picture]From: joycedavenport
2007-08-30 11:31 am (UTC)

If not for you (dee do dee do)
Wouldna never met Hank and Ed
Wouldna ever have shared their heads
Wouldna had a clue
If not for you.

Thanks, love ya all three, so glad they are getting rings.

Darn I just wrote this and then read Laylania's far superior effort. Never mind just consider it another verse!
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-09-01 11:40 am (UTC)
I'd be proud to add this verse! We all love them so.

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 05:03 am (UTC)
Thanks! Love your verse too! Great minds think alike. (Yours and Laly's I mean, of course.)

And Hank's awful glad that they're getting rings too. He still can't quite believe it.
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[User Picture]From: eric_idle_rules
2007-08-30 05:22 pm (UTC)
I loved this! I'm so happy Ed changed his minds about the rings. ♥ As far as the music goes, sure The Carpenters are a bit sappy, but I've always liked this song, so it's not just for the "Sappy old folks", considering I'm 19. :P And George Harrison is amazing, so that was another great music choice.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 05:14 am (UTC)
Thanks! Hank's very happy Ed changed his mind about the rings too. Glad you liked the music too. Nice to hear it's not just for us sappy old folks. :D
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[User Picture]From: joetheone
2007-08-30 06:50 pm (UTC)

Singing along having a good time

Yep, I started signing along with the links and having a good time listening to the two of you bicker your way across the country. Yes, I agree we used to have a mobile home but then the extra money you spend on tolls and the extra cost of some of those campgrounds and the gas and towing our car and all well let me tell you I sold it for 74 thousand and put that money in the bank for hotel cost. I can stay at an awful lot of motels on that and I agree they are nice if you are taking the dogs or a large family or whatever but for two of us I realized it cost more then it was worth. So cheers to those wonderful motels with King sized beds and breakfast in the morning and the discounts on multiple night stays. I love it! Joe
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 05:18 am (UTC)

Re: Singing along having a good time

Hey Joe, Glad it got you singing along and glad you're still enjoying the trip.

Hank is busy imagining all the places they could go and hotels they could stay at for $74,000.

Ed just said 'Dream on, dumbass.' And Hank said he'd be happy to.
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-08-30 10:34 pm (UTC)

I love Hank and Ed's big adventure. why not get an RV, they sure would be more comfortable in it.

I love the selection of songs, fits them to a T. and is that their new house now?

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-09-04 05:27 am (UTC)
Hey there, Glad you liked it!

And yeah,Hank still kinda wishes they could get an RV or a trailer, but he's decided if he has to choose between being able to travel longer versus being more comfortable, he'd rather be able to travel longer.

Although he would much rather have his pie and eat it too.

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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-09-04 02:04 pm (UTC)
they could rent an RV for a while see how it goes ya know :)
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