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Ed and Hank About last night... (Five things Ed didn't want… - myeyesaintblue — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Nov. 17th, 2007|07:36 am]

Ed and Hank

About last night...
(Five things Ed didn't want to do last night...
And five he did...)

Note: Just a short post about last night (~1050 words plus one picture). Hank didn't even notice the five things until he typed up their conversation. Since five and five is ten, and since the conversation continued quite a ways past the ten things, Hank didn't tag it for the challenge. Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope. Comments: Always appreciated.

Everything else is here:

About last night...
(Five things Ed didn't want to do last night...
And five he did...)

"Watcha doin', Ed?"

"Catchin' up on this week's newspapers...
Kinda fell behind some."

"Yeah. I did too.
Anythin' interestin'?"

"Take a look at this..."

"Ya think they woulda had a bigger sheet
ta cover tha' poor fella..."

"Ya'd think."

"Hell... Wal-Mart's not more 'n a mile or two away."

"Prob'bly more like a mile 'n a half."

"Tha's wha' I said."

"Wouldna been too 'xpensive I wouldn' think...
Ta get somethin' king-sized."

"Wouldn' think so.
'N a paisley print mighta been nice too."

"Wha' the hell's a 'paisley print', Hank?"

"Don' got no idea.
'S jus' got a nice ring ta it."

"Guess it does at tha'."

"Coulda took up a collection
if'n they couldn' afford nothin' nicer."

"I mighta even given 'em a dollar."

"Big spender."

"You bet."

"'N tha' rope 'round his neck like tha'..."

"Tha' just ain't righ'."

"Promotin' bondage 'n all...
In a upstandin', family-values-kinda town like this one...
Where ya gotta work at it ta even get
yer self a real beer."

"'S a l'il s'prisin'..."

"Sure hope they know 'bout them safe words."

"Maybe they're startin' some kinda Halloween tradition?"

"Halloween were more 'n two weeks ago, Ed."

"That it was."

"How 'bout we start our own tradition...?
Next year fer Henry's anniversary we'll sneak over there
'n wrap him up like one a them mummies."

"Dontcha think poor ol' Henry's been through enough?"

"Let's mark it on the calendar so's we don't ferget...
Do we got a 2008 calendar?"


"If'n I don' mark it down 'm prob'bly gonna ferget."

"'M countin' on it."

"So... I guess tha's the 'xcitement in town this weekend...
Henry's unveilin'. Wha' time is it at?
Ya wanna go?"

"Lemme see...
Uh... Guess we're further behind than we thought...
It were last weekend. So's we missed it."

"Darn. 'M crushed."

"No disrepect ta Henry intended...
But I bet it were 'bout as excitin' as watchin' paint dry."

"True 'nough. Ya wanna 'nother beer, Ed...?
Looks like yer empty."


"Ain't too cold out.
Ya wanna go sit on the porch fer a while?"


"Ya wanna watch some TV?"


"Ya wanna put a movie in?"


"Ya wan' me ta leave ya alone
so's you can read yer newspapers?"




"Then how 'bout... 'n honor a Henry 'n all...
We grab a bottle a whiskey... 'n head upstairs... 'n put some music on...
'n then turn the lights down real low... but not too low...
'n then maybe have one a them unveilin'
ceremonies of our very own?"

"'N honor a Henry, huh...?"

"Yep. Since we missed his 'n all.
 'N I promise ya... it'll be a whole lot more 'xcitin'
than poor ol' Henry's unveilin' was."

"More 'xcitin' than watchin' paint dry, huh...?"

"Yep. Definitely."

"How 'bout watchin' grass grow...?
Is it gonna be more 'xcitin' than watchin' grass grow?"

Cain't make no promises, though."

"Ain't sure if'n I can take tha' much 'xcitement.
It bein' a weeknight 'n all."

"It ain't a weeknight... 'S Friday."

"Friday's a weekday, ain't it?"

"Yeah, but..."

"So's tha' makes Friday night a weeknight."

"Technic'lly, maybe... but not really.
Jus' like technically Sunday ain't a weeknight, but ev'rybody knows it is.
'Sides... we're ranchers, dumbass... so's it don' really matter
wha' the hell night it migh' be."

"It don't, huh...?"


"Well... In that case..."

"Hey... wait up, Ed...
Don' start tha' there unveilin' withou' me."

"You grab the whiskey...
I'm gonna pick the music fer a change."

"Shit. C'mon, Ed...
I cain't think a any Johnny Cash song
tha's suitable fer strippin' to."

"His songs ain't the only ones I listen ta."

"Tha's true 'nough... So's...
I guess we're gonna be unveilin' ta Mr. Williams, Senior.
'I saw the light'... prob'bly on accounta 'my bucket's got a hole in it'
but tha' don' matter none anyways 'cause
'I'm so lonesome I could die'."

"Gonna put tha' there bucket over yer head
if'n ya keep mockin' Hank Williams."

"I weren't mockin' Mr. Williams... I were mockin' you...
'n the great variety a music ya listen to.
Like I always do."

 "Here, dumbass... Unveil yerself ta this..."


"Jeez... Gotta admit... that's a real good choice, Ed. Now...
Why dontcha come on over here so's we can
take turns unveilin' each other...
Nice 'n slow-like..."

"Be righ' there..."

"Do ya remember how ta set tha' cd
ta repeat?"

"Sure do."

"Who says ya cain't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"I ain't old, Hank."

"Prove it, old man..."

"Be glad to, old man..."

"Jus' don' go hurtin' yer self..."

"You neither...
Like last week when ya..."

"Nevermind 'bout last week...
Now... Why don' we stop talkin'...
'n start unveilin'..."

"Good idea... C'mere, Hank."


"Oooh baby... I know you're the one who can.
 Believe me when I tell you... You can love me like a man"


"Jeez... At the computer already, dumbass..."

"Mornin', Mr. Van Winkle."

"Think we know each other well 'nough tha' you can call me Rip.
Wait a minute... Shit... Wha' the hell time is it?"

"Don' worry, Ed... I got all the chores done tha' needed doin'...
I woke up 'fore the alarm 'n turned it off...
Thought I'd let you sleep in
fer a change."

"Thanks, Hank. 'Preciate it."

"S'prised ya slept so long... Ain't like ya...
Guess I wore you out, old man."

"Sure did, old man.
Tha' 'n I got spoiled last summer...
Sleepin' ta all hours. Never done tha' 'fore.
Kinda like it, though."

"'Course yer 'all hours' is still most folks early mornin'."

"Guess so. Uh... Hank..."


"Uh... last night... tha' were... tha' were real..."

"Yeah. It was, Ed.
Damn. Ya think it cain't poss'bly get..."

"'N then it does..."

"It sure did."

"Yeah. Jeez..."

"How 'bout we go inta town fer a late breakfast...?"

"I could go fer some pancakes."

"'N then how 'bout we stop 'n pay our respects ta good ol' Henry...
See what he looks like... 'N thank him... You know...
Fer bein' so inspirin'."

"Guess he wouldn' be too far outta our way."

"Once ya get to town ain't nothin' in town outta the way."

"I'd like ta take a shower first... 'N I'd invite ya in...
but 'm awful hungry."

"Tha's okay.
You throw yer self in the shower
while I finish this 'n post it real quick-like."

"Wanna make it interestin'?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"Betcha I can shower 'n be dressed
'fore yer done postin' tha'."

"Whaddya wanna bet?"

"Whoever wins gets ta drive...
Both to 'n from town."

"'S a bet.
So's ya better get yer ass ready ta ride shotgun.
Ready... Set... Go..."


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From: carol1943
2007-11-17 04:49 pm (UTC)
I say it every time I read one of these, but it bears repeating... I love these old guys!!!!!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-11-19 04:32 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it.

(P.S. Ed wants me to tell you that he and Hank ain't old.)
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[User Picture]From: samtyr
2007-11-17 06:07 pm (UTC)
I just love these two--so sweet. And I guess it's a good thing that Hank doesn't use an online calendar w/pop-up reminders. Right? ;)
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-11-19 04:34 am (UTC)
LOL! I guess Hank's age is showing. It never occurred to him to that there were online calendars with pop-up reminders. Guess he'll go looking for one. Glad you liked it! (And thanks for the tip too!)
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-11-17 07:27 pm (UTC)


...just embed a song written by Chris Smither into this post ( even if it was sung by Bonnie)!!!

Well, TWIN Dumbass, I have met Chris on many occasions and to think of Ed and Hank enjoying a striptease to "Love me Like a Man" just ruined me!! I'll make sure to tell him next time he is around this area. He'll love it.
Tell the boys that Bonnie put that song on so many albums it paid for his house!
And if you haven't listened to the original, his whiskey throated version, played solo on his blue guitar and accompanied only by the miked tapping of his boot on a board, you should. Trust me on this, 'Blue. He's awesome, kinda like you.
Check out www.chrissmither.com- start with "Live as I'll ever be." Get it for Ed for Christmas.

And for the record (sorry, bad pun), my middle son and his best friend sang "Hole in the Bucket" for a talent show in grade school. I can still totally embarrass him by humming it. ;D

Hug the boys, pat the dogs and all, and hug youself for me.

Love ya, Dumbass.


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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-11-19 06:34 am (UTC)


As well it should have paid for his house... It's a great song! That is also so great that you've met Chris Smithers. Went to his website and listened to some of his music. Thanks for the advice on which one to start with... It will definitely make a great present for Ed!

::Hugs backatcha::

P.S. I think it's your duty as a parent to embarrass your children every now and again. There's probably some kind of law. Although with Ed it's more like Iris embarrasses him.
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From: animas1
2007-11-17 07:40 pm (UTC)

Almost like haiku...

Good heavens... your writing it almost like some form of haiku! You evoke and reveal so much about their relationship and soul-deep feelings for each other with sometimes little more than than sentence fragments.

Another wonderful glimpse into their hard-won and never-taken-for-granted being together.

Thank you, Animas
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-11-19 06:45 am (UTC)

Re: Almost like haiku...

Thanks, that is so nice of you to say. Sometimes even Hank can only get out fragments of sentences, but he figures as long as they each know what the other is trying to say, it's okay. I'm really glad you liked it.
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[User Picture]From: eandj
2007-11-17 10:31 pm (UTC)
This is so damn good
sweet and funny
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-11-19 07:26 am (UTC)
Thanks! That is so sweet of you to say. I'm really glad you liked it.
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-11-17 11:12 pm (UTC)
oh this was GREAT! so who won the bet? I bet it was ED :D

see no matter how old ya get there is still plenty of fire in the furnace :D
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-11-19 07:28 am (UTC)
Yeah, Ed won... But just barely and mainly because Hank was trying to rush too much and he kept making mistakes.

P.S. Exactly who are you calling 'old'? :D
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[User Picture]From: jennydcf
2007-11-21 02:28 am (UTC)

Hey, friend

Found this when you posted the second part, but the second part is coming up as "forbidden"--did you lock it in some way?

I admire their ability to find inspiration in the strangest things--unveiling, indeed. Like that song (and Ms. Raitt)just fine, though. Ed's got taste. Like pancakes, too. And pie. Making pumpkin pie this week. Bet he'd like it.:-)

Why do I feel that Hank suckered Ed on that bet? Just suspicious, I guess.

You folks have a great Thanksgiving--though I'm sure Ed and Hank are grateful for every single day they have together. Wishin the dogs 'n Bill and Betty a fine holiday, too.:-)

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-11-21 07:02 pm (UTC)

Re: Hey, friend

Hey there,
Sorry about the post disappearing like that. Thought I took it down quick enough. I posted it in a hurry and then realized I forgot to upload a couple of pictures. Didn't have a chance to get back to it 'til now.

And thanks! Hope you and yours have a great Thanksgiving too!
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