I only have eyes for you...
"Still think ya cheated."
"How the hell could I have cheated?
I took a shower 'n I got dressed. Like I always do.
Won tha' bet fair 'n square."
"Didya brush yer teeth?"
"You kissed me 'fore we left...
Why don'
you tell
me?"
"Yeah. You brushed yer teeth."
"'Course I did, dumbass."
"Hey... lookit tha', Ed...
They got themselves a new motto here..."
"Taste the West, huh?"
"Yep."
"Tastes a lot like pancakes."
"Sure does."
"Real
good pancakes."
"Guess I shoulda ordered a short stack...
'M gettin' real full... Ya wan' some a mine, Ed?"
"Nope 'm full too."
"Looks like Tom's takin' a break...
I'll be righ' back..."
"
Shit."
...
"Ya ready ta go, Ed?
Or ya wanna 'nother cup a coffee?"
"
Jeez, Hank..."
"Wha'?"
"Nothin'."
"
What?"
"Jus' tha'...
Dammit...
I wish ya'd stop flirtin' with tha' cook."
"I weren't flirtin' with Tom."
"Ya were so.
'N ya do
it ev'ry
time we come in here."
"You
serious, Ed?"
"Yeah. No... I dunno... Maybe...
Yer always smilin' at him 'n yer always laughin' ta gether...
'N
this time ya even had him posin' fer a picture.
Bet he'd give ya the shirt off a his back...
If'n ya asked fer it or not..."
"Been wonderin' how ta break it to ya, Ed...
Tom 'n me are runnin' off ta gether.
A week from next Tuesday."
"Fine. I'll help ya pack."
"Ya ain't got no reason ta be jealous, dumbass.
Ya know I like my fellas more my age.
'N I like 'em nice 'n long-legged.
'N kinda stupid-like."
"Know it's stupid.
Jus' cain't help it sometimes.
Yer so damn...
friendly... 'Specially ta
him."
"I like Tom. He's a good guy.
'Sides... ya know damn well he ain't gay."
"You tellin' me if'n he were...
I'd have somethin' ta worry 'bout?"
"You are such a dumbass sometimes.
Ya know I only got eyes fer you... dontcha, Ed...?"
"Yeah. I guess."
"'Sides... Ain't a bad idea ta make friends
with the fella tha' cooks yer food."
"True 'nough."
"Hey, Myrna...?"
"Whatcha need, Hank?"
"If'n ya ain't too busy..."
"I ain't never too busy fer you, Darlin'."
"Wouldya mind puttin' on some Johnny Cash fer us?
Maybe tha' 'Walk the Line' song a his?"
"Sure thing, Darlin'.
Justa sec."
"Thanks, Myrna."
"Think yer funny, huh?"
"Don' know wha' yer talkin' 'bout."
"
Shit...
Ya ain't gonna sing...
Please tell me ya ain't gonna sing...
They won't never let us back in here if'n ya sing.
'N I really like their pancakes."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE38XiBD6h8"I ain't gonna sing."
"Good."
"I keep a close watch
on this heart a mine. I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep the ends out fer the tie tha' binds...
Because yer mine... I walk the line."
"Ya
said you
weren't gonna
sing."
"Cain't help it. 'S a catchy tune.
I ain't bein' tha' loud."
"Yer bein' louder than ya think."
"Okay, okay... I'll quit."
"So's... you walk the line, huh?"
"Yep. Because yer mine."
"Meanin'... Ya love me...
So's ya ain't never gonna screw 'round on me...
Even though yer tempted all the time
'N ya'd really like ta."
"Nope. Meanin'... I love ya...
So's I ain't never gonna screw 'round on ya
because I wouldn' never wanna be with no else
besides
you, dumbass."
"Don' think tha's wha' Johnny meant."
"Maybe not.
But tha's what
I mean."
"Don' matter what Johnny meant, Ed.
You should listen ta what Hank says he means.
'Cause I fer one believe Hank means a lotta what he says.
And that's more than I can say regardin' most folks.
You two 'bout ready fer yer check now?
Or can I warm ya up...?"
"Shit...
""Think we're 'bout done.
Thanks, Myrna. 'Preciate it."
"Just call 'em how I see 'em. Lessee...
Know yer check's in this stack somewhere..."
"You should listen ta Myrna, Ed.
Think she knows wha' she's talkin' 'bout."
"
Hank..."
"Damn right I do.
I been 'round the block more 'n once.
By the way... My condolences, Ed... I had
no idea.
Have you thought 'bout tryin' ear plugs?
Might help some."
"Maybe I could give 'em a try. D'ya think they got 'em fer dogs?
I feel real bad fer them dogs a ours."
"Bet they do."
"I ain't
that bad... Am I?"
"'Fraid I'm gonna hafta refuse to answer that
on the grounds that I have yet to get my tip from you today.
Now I'm thinkin' I shoulda shut my trap a l'il sooner.
But it's hard ta teach an old dog ta shut up.
Here's yer check, boys."
"I'll take tha', Myrna..."
"Thanks, Ed.
Now you two don' do anythin' I wouldn' do...
'Course I'll try most anythin' once."
"See ya later, Myrna."
A few minutes later...
"Where is Henry anyways?"
"He should be right 'round this corner."
"Hey, Hank... Lookit tha' sign...
Ya think they got any jeans in my size?"
"Don' get yer hopes up Ed...
Mos' folks 'round these parts wear their jeans
'til there ain't much left but the holes."
"True 'nough."
"'Course we could prob'by find ya
a real nice pair or two a them polyester Sansabelt pants.
Heard them things don' never wear out."
"Thanks, but no thanks.
But at fifty cents a piece... maybe I could get
youtwo or three pairs fer Christmas."
"'N ta think all this time I thought ya liked me."
"Hey... There's Henry, Hank..."
"Looks like they got the poor guy wearin'
them Sansabelt pants."
"Wonder what he did ta deserve tha'?"
"'N he looks a l'il worried tha' someone
migh' be plannin' ta throw 'nother sheet over him."
"He kinda does at tha'...
Uh... Hank...?"
"Yeah?"
"Sorry I were such a dumbass at the restaurant."
"'S okay, Ed..."
"I know ya jus' like ta talk ta folks."
"'N I know it can get irritatin' fer ya sometimes."
"Think maybe I am jealous, but..."
"
Jeez, Ed... I told ya... There ain't no reason..."
"Lemme finish...
But 's more like 'm jealous of
you...
On accounta you can talk ta other folks so easy-like.
I ain't never been able ta... 'N sometimes...
I wish I could do tha' too."
"'S just the way ya are, Ed.
'N there ain't nothin' wrong with bein' tha' way.
'S prob'bly partly jus' you... 'N partly on accounta yer folks.
But ya know damn well ya talk ta folks okay once ya get ta know 'em.
Jus' takes a while fer you ta be able ta trust 'em well 'nough.
'N hell... I cain't hardly get ya ta shut up no more."
"Guess yer righ'.
'N most times it don' bother me none.
Let's jus' ferget 'bout it... So's... wha'd ol' Henry do
ta get his self cast in bronze anyways?"
"This sign says he were picked ta lead
36 men 'n 11 wagons through a blindin' blizzard ta settle this town
in November a 1851."
"They musta come from
a awful long ways 'way ta get ta this place in November.
Not the best timin' fer settlin' somewheres...
wha' with winter comin'."
"Well... This says they came from the next town up the road.
Tha's only 'bout fifteen miles away."
"Yer kiddin'?"
"Nope."
"Ya'd think somone
woulda took a look outside at the weather
'n said... 'I dunno Henry, d'ya think maybe we should settle
tha' there town tomorrow? Or the next day?
Or maybe next fuckin' spring'?"
"Ya'd think.
Looks like poor ol' Henry hadn' been in this country too long...
Maybe tha' were their way a hazin' him."
"Gotta tell ya... Know there's been some
real bad things done here...
But a lot a this town's history makes me laugh too."
"Yeah... Like tha' big ol' statue they have
commemoratin' buildin' the first buildin' fer tha' college.
They ended up doin'
that in winter too 'cause a some dumbass deadline.
Climbed up tha' there mountain ta cut down some trees at the beginnin' a January.
Took 'em days ta get there through shoulder deep snow 'n then they had ta come back
'cause they didn' bring no sleighs ta move the trees. Jus' wagons tha' wouldn' work.
'N then they couldn' get them wagons back down again after bringin' 'em up
on accounta the trail were drifted over 'n the snow were even deeper.
A big ol' horse saved the day fer 'em... 'N tha' statue's fer him.
They said he'd throw his self inta them drifts 'n then
sit back 'n rest like a dog on his haunches 'n
then heave a big ol' sigh 'n get back up
'n do it all over again."
"I can 'magine what he were thinkin' when he sighed...
'
Whatta buncha dumbasses'."
"Imagine he was."
"Guess they figured it'd make fer more 'xcitin'
history book readin' if'n they did stuff durin' blizzards."
"Guess so."
"Wha's tha' they say 'bout dumbasses rushin' in
where sane folks fear ta tread...?"
"Tha's purty much wha' they say.
More or less anyways."
"'N weren't there a fort they kept buildin' 'n movin'...?"
"Yeah... The sign said poor ol' Henry worked on tha' too...
First they put it right under a big ol' hill..."
"Don' make a whole lotta sense ta put
a fort at the bottom of a hill..."
"Nope. It didn' make no sense.
So's someone with a smidge more sense
came 'n told 'em ta move it."
"Yeah...
'N then they put it out in the middle a tha' flood plain...
didn' they...?"
"Yep. 'N tha' same fella came back
'n told them they shouldna put the fort in the flood plain.
'N then he showed them 'xactly where they should put tha' there fort.
So's they built it again where he told them they should.
'Course... after all that it turned out tha' they didn'
really need the fort in the first place."
"Ya think they woulda used the buildin' material from tha' fort
ta build tha' buildin' fer tha' college."
"Tha' were years later...
So's they prob'bly already used it fer somethin' else."
"Then they jus' shoulda made a sign sayin' 'This here's the College'
'n stuck it on some other buildin'."
"Think they tried tha',
but them folks in charge said tha' were cheatin'."
"Assume them folks in charge
weren't the same ones that had ta climb the damn mountain
'n do some loggin' in the middle a winter?"
"'Course not."
"Maybe they shoulda dismantled
some other buildin' in rebuilt it where they was s'posed
ta build tha' buildin'."
"Maybe they didn' have no extra buildin's
lyin' 'round ta dismantle."
"Prob'bly not..."
"Yeah... It bein' the olden days 'n all..."
"'N didn' ya tell me tha' they named the place after a tree
tha' don' grow nowheres near here?"
"Yep. They thought the trees 'round here
were them kinda trees... But they weren't."
"'S almos' like the Three Stooges
settled this town."
"Sure does seem tha' way sometimes."
"Hey, Hank... Ain't you descended from
some a them pioneers?"
"'S poss'ble."
"Sure would 'xplain a lot..."
"Think I been insulted 'n my father's been insulted
'n my father's father's been insulted 'n a few fathers 'fore tha' too.."
"Yeah. 'M purty sure you all been insulted.
Really only intended ta insult you."
"Thanks a lot."
"Yer welcome."
"Hey, Ed... Dontcha think poor ol' Henry
looks like he's missin' somethin...?
How 'bout...
this...?"
"Take yer hat off a him, Hank."
"Ain't hurtin' him none."
"We're standin' practic'lly right outside the police station..."
"'N jus' whaddya think they'd charge me with...?
Unlawful haberdasherin'?"
"Now who's usin' fancy words...?"
"Guess I am."
"Wait a minute... Ya know...
With yer hat on... Henry looks a l'il like Clint Eastwood.
If'n ya squint some 'n all..."
"Think yer seein' things, Ed...
Mus' be yer obsession with Clint Eastwood...
'S always... 'Hey, Hank... Why don' we watch ev'ry single
Clint Eastwood movie a hund'erd 'n nine times.
'N then maybe jus' once more
fer good measure'."
"But ya know I only got eyes fer you... dontcha, Hank?"
"Yeah. I guess so..."
"'Cause... 'I keep a close watch on this heart a mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time. I keep the ends out
fer the tie tha' binds. Because yer mine...
I walk the line'."
"Serenadin' me in public in fron' a the police station...?
Ain't ya 'fraid they're gonna arrest ya?"
"Fer wha'?
Bein' in love with a dumbass?
'M already servin' a life sentence fer tha'."
"Yep. With no poss'bility a parole."
"Wouldn' have it no other way."
"Me neither, Ed."
"So's... Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?"
"Aw... C'mon, Ed... Do the whole thing."
"Okay... 'Ya gotta ask yer self one question:
'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk'?"
"I feel
damn lucky."
"Yeah. Me too."
"How 'bout I go ahead 'n make yer day, Ed?"
"Ya mean...?"
"Yep. Yer choice a Clint Eastwood movies.
Maybe even a double feature."
"Sounds real good ta me."
"'S a date then."
"'N after tha', Hank..."
"Yeah?"
"How 'bout I go ahead 'n make
yer day?"
"Think 'm feelin' even luckier now."
