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Ed and Hank’s Thanksgiving: The Prequel Disclaimer: Hank told… - myeyesaintblue — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Dec. 1st, 2007|09:31 am]

Ed and Hank’s Thanksgiving: The Prequel

Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.

Everything else is here:

Ed and Hank's Thanksgivin'... The Prequel

(Not as funny or as sweet as the next day.
Which is why Hank wasn't going to post it to begin with
but here it is, for better or for worse.)

“That ain’t gonna work, Hank.”

“Yeah it is. I do it this way all the time.”

“Then ya do it wrong all the time.”

“Been doin’ it this way since I was twelve years old.”

“Then ya been doin’ it wrong fer a helluva long time.”

"More than one way ta do it."

"Yep. Tha'd be the righ' way 'n yer way."

“Guess yer in one a yer moods ta day, huh...?”

“Nope. Even worse. Think I migh’ be in one a yer moods.”

Jeez… Jus' came out here ta give ya a hand... Wha’ the hell’s wrong with you, Ed?"

“Nothin’s wrong with me. Wha’ the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Nothin’ was wrong with me… ‘til I came out here.”

“Well then maybe you should jus’ get the hell outta here ‘n let me do it myself so's I can do it right.”

“Fine. 'N fuck you too.”

“That a insult or an invitation?”

“That old line ain’t gonna work on me this time.”

“Worked on ya last time. ‘N the time ‘fore tha’…”

“Well it ain’t gonna work this time."


"Where’s Bill at anyways?”

“Bill's gone. ‘N he ain’t comin’ back ta day.”

“Ya run him off too, huh?”



“This don’ mean you ain’t a jackass.”

“This don’ mean you weren’t doin’ it wrong.”

“Yeah... 'N I s’pose you think ‘m doin’ this wrong too?”

“Ya ain’t never done this wrong yet… Near as I can tell, anyways... Could always be a first time though…”

"Yer damn lucky I love ya, old man..."

"'N don' think I don' know it, dumbass..."

"Coulda fooled me..."



“Now... you gonna tell me what the hell’s really buggin’ you, Ed?”

“Nothin’… ‘S jus’… Jeez... Lemme get m' self put back ta gether here..."

"So...? What is it? I ain't budgin' from this spot 'til ya tell me. "

"'S jus'... you gettin’ us roped inta goin’ ta tha’ damn dinner tomorrow…"

“Betty ‘n Bill have been awful nice ta us. Think the least we could do is show up ta dinner. ‘Sides… Betty don’ like the thought of us sittin’ here all by our selves.”

“But I like the thought of us sittin’ here all by our selves. 'Sides... We only know Betty ‘n her mom ‘n Bill… rest a them folks we don’ know or don’ hardly know…”

“C’mon, Ed… It migh’ be fun… 'N I kinda get tired of it jus' bein' the two a us all the time... not havin' no big ol' family 'round. Dontcha ever wonder wha' tha'd be like?”


"Well, I do."

“But... What if folks… What if there’s some folks there tha’… Did Betty tell folks… 'bout us 'n all...?”

“Yeah… Betty told me she sent out engraved invitations sayin’ yer hereby invited ta Thanksgivin’ dinner featurin’ turkey ‘n stuffin’ ‘n a couple a queer cowboys on display fer yer gawkin’ pleasure... R.S.V.P."

"Wha' the hell does R.S.V.P. stand fer, anyways?"

"Don' know the 'xact words... Jus' know it's French fer you dumbasses better tell me if'n yer comin' ta my party or not. 'N I already told Betty we are... so's we are... 'cause it'd be real rude not to."

"Ya shoulda asked me first."

"Yeah. I shoulda. But you jus' woulda said 'no'. So's I didn'."

"Well ya shoulda."

"Said I shoulda. But I didn'. 'N we're goin'."

"Maybe yer goin'. But tha' don' mean I'm goin'."

"C'mon, Ed. I promised Betty we'd both be there. Ya ain't got nothin' ta worry 'bout... Betty wouldna invited us if'n she thought folks'd gawk 'n glare 'n throw stuff at us."

"Guess not. Shit."

"'N if'n folks do start gawkin' or glarin' or throwin' stuff at us we can leave."


"There's gonna be turkey, 'n stuffin' 'n sweet potatoes 'n mashed potatoes 'n gravy 'n cranberry sauce..."

"'N pie...?"

"'Course there'll be pie, dumbass. Betty's mom's pie."

"Well... Okay... But if'n anyone says anythin' 'bout us or glares at us or somethin'... we're leavin'."

"'S a deal. So's... Ya didn' really run Bill off again, didya?"

"Nah... Let him go 'cause he had a buncha errands ta run fer Betty."

"Good. Now... d'ya wan' me ta help ya with this...?"

"Tha' depends... You gonna do it yer way or you gonna do it the righ' way?"

"Dammit, Ed..."


web site analytic

[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2007-12-01 06:14 pm (UTC)
Even when they're bickering, I LOVE these guys!!!!

And I'm wonderin' what they were up to the FIRST time Hank "did it wrong."

I can guess the activity he got right. ;D

Love you all, Dumbasses!!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-02 02:06 am (UTC)
I have a feeling you are defintely right about the activity Hank got right. :D

As to the one he got wrong... It's just work related stuff that Hank would rather not write about, much less do, but he was trying to be nice and help out but just see if he'll ever do that again...

Well, yes he will, but Ed just better not complain about it...


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From: mazaher
2007-12-01 06:32 pm (UTC)

My very thoughts

“Think if’n ya wanna wake up ev'ry mornin' ta my sweet face yer gonna hafta start wakin' up earlier 'cause my sweet face is gen'rally hard at work by the time you drag yer self outta bed.”
“But I like the thought of us sittin’ here all by our selves."
Terse and to the point.
I hope H&E will find an agreement about how to pass Christmas... =)
Meanwhile, Hank's posts never fail to make me happy. Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-02 02:10 am (UTC)

Re: My very thoughts

Hey there,

Yeah, Ed would much rather be alone with Hank than socializing with a bunch of folks he doesn't know very well... Although all that food was a pretty powerful persuader for him. :)

And thanks! Glad you liked it even though they were bickerin' some.
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-12-01 06:49 pm (UTC)
LOL I was laughing at the engraved invitations part. I would like to have gone to that Thanksgiving dinner, go gawk as some queer cowboys :D

Ed sure is paranoid. I guess one way to make sure he shows up is to have pie on hand. Does he like pumpkin pie? Cause I can make him one of mine. :D

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-02 02:19 am (UTC)
Hey there,

Glad the invitation made you laugh! And yeah, Ed's made a lot of progress, but he still gets awful paranoid sometimes. (I think he's a even a little more cautious since they've been back home.) But I also don't think he'd like spending too much time with a whole houseful of folks under the best circumstances.

How nice of you to offer to make Ed a pie! That might even get him to Virginia for Christmas. :D Ed loves pumpkin pie. In fact, he has yet to meet a pie he didn't like.
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-12-02 02:50 pm (UTC)
okay so Ed loves Pie that much huh? So I can bribe him to come here for Xmas :D What does Hank like?

Let Ed know he can come on over today, we're decorating the tree :D
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-04 05:14 pm (UTC)
Mainly, Hank likes Ed. (And pie too of course.) Hank would love to see your tree, I bet it's beautiful. (He'll be over later.)
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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-12-04 06:48 pm (UTC)
cool I'll be ready for him (is Ed coming too?)
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-04 07:11 pm (UTC)
Yep. Ed's coming too. (He grumbled a bit like he usually does, but I know he really wants to.)
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[User Picture]From: joetheone
2007-12-02 04:09 am (UTC)

Totally understood

Ok I'm in trouble I understood all of this I must be spending way too much time with Ed and Hank. LOL this was fun as always, Pat is like that I have to accept invitations to things and just tell him later he is so anti-social and didn't he know I'm a Libra a social butterfly who loves people. Oh well such is life. Great prequel. Joe
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-04 05:51 pm (UTC)

Re: Totally understood

Glad you liked the prequel and good to hear you're spending way too much time with Ed and Hank. Opposites do seem to attract sometimes... When you accept those invitations without telling Pat I hope he goes along without giving you too much trouble.
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[User Picture]From: joetheone
2007-12-05 01:58 am (UTC)

Re: Totally understood

Funny you should ask. My co-workers drug me out on Sunday night I called Pat and said please come out with me and he stayed home. Well, Joe got wound up and wild which I have not done in years and was even dancing on a poll on the dance floor with 3 22 year olds and even collected some money so to say Joe had a wild time is an understatment but then Joe faced the music at home and slept in his car. All is well now though. I have not done that stuff in years and well probably not for years more but it was fun. Joe
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-06 05:28 am (UTC)

Re: Totally understood

LOL! Glad you had fun even though you ended up having to sleep in the car. Brrrr!! (Hey, you DID ask him to go with...) Maybe you can buy Pat something nice with the money you collected? (Although then he may just send you back to make more.) And like Ed said on Thanksgiving, everybody's gotta cut loose sometime.
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[User Picture]From: torry28
2007-12-02 05:05 am (UTC)
Ah, So sorry they had a little tiff, well it is funny but it still hurts. That invitation would have been the mother of all invitations.It all ended well in more ways then one, Hank got what he wanted and Ed had his way and Hank in that order?
Yep, a fine day to be thankful for.
Thank you, Ed and Hank
I love you
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-04 05:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Torry! Glad you enjoyed it despite their spat. Don't worry, Ed and Hank bicker so much they recover pretty quickly.

And I'm not quite sure if it wasn't Hank that had his way. :D
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[User Picture]From: jennasts
2007-12-02 02:16 pm (UTC)
The bickering in the prequel rings so incredibly true to life! Yes, that is exactly how a fella like Ed (with whom I might just have a passing acquaintance) reacts to the idea of going to a Thanksgiving dinner (or any social occasion) where he thinks he'll feel uncomfortable. You hit it right on the nose. You have great abilities to characterize through dialogue alone.

I will say that I am greatly enjoying these dialogue only treats you've been giving us, but I also miss the way the original story was told...by Hank, of course.

Hope you and Ed and Hank are enjoying this holiday season. Thanks for this treat! I'm glad you posted it, quarrels and all.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-04 06:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I'm really glad you liked it!

So nice of you to say you miss the way the original story was told... Alas, Hank is quite lazy and has a much easier time of it just writing down what he and Ed say. He knows he ends up leaving a lot out, but all that descriptive stuff is much more difficult for him. Maybe he'll try giving it a whirl again sometime...

Happy holidays to you and that fella like Ed with whom you may just have a passing acquaintance!
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