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[Dec. 12th, 2007|09:04 am]
[music |Cold, cold heart...]

Road trippin' with Ed and Hank (20)

Everything else is here: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html

Promises to keep...

"'N then I thought you could watch the place
while Bill ‘n I go campin’ ‘n get some quality alone time ta gether…”


“Dammit, Hank…”


“Ya ain’t heard a word I said…”

“Sorry, Ed…”

“You okay…? Ya seem a l’il outta sorts or somethin’.”

“’M okay… ‘S jus’ tha’ this whole trip’s
takin’ a lot longer ta write 'bout than I thought it would…
Figured I’d be long done with it by now.”

“Wha’s yer hurry?”

“Didn’ think there were none…
 But now tha’ yer plannin’ ta try ‘n get me killed...
wha’ with wantin’ ta go winter campin’ somewheres real remote-like
over Christmas… 'm jus' wishin' I had finished it up 'n all...
But I still got a fair ways ta go..."

“Ain’t gonna get ya killed.”

"Most likely gonna die of exposure..."

“Definitely gonna be some ‘xposure involved…
but ya ain’t died from it yet…”

“You'll be sorry when it freezes 'n falls off..."

"I sure as hell will be."

"Then maybe we shouldn' go...
Wouldn' wanna take the chance 'n all..."

“'N here I thought ya’d like ta go.
Hell… ya always wanna go somewheres…”

“Somewheres south migh’ be nice."

“Yeah, but everybody ‘n their brother heads south this time a year.
I wanna go somewheres where we can be
off all by ourselves…”

"Jeez... We ain't been winter campin'
since tha' was our only way a bein' able ta get ta gether 'n all.
'N I don' see no reason ta start up again now.”

"C'mon, Hank... it'll be like old times..."

"What if’n I jus’ promised real nice-like
 that I wouldn’ make ya go ta no more holiday dinners?
Would ya not try 'n kill me then?”

"Ain't tryin' ta kill ya."

"Ya absolutely sure 'bout tha'?"

"Purty sure, anyways...
But the more I think 'bout it the better
it's beginnin' ta sound."

"Thanks a lot..."

"Yer welcome."

"So's now even though there's
a whole buncha other stuff I still wanna write 'bout
'm thinkin' that I better write 'bout Howard 'cause I promised him
I'd put him in our story on the internet 'n here it is more 'n six months later
'n I ain't done it yet... 'N if'n I don' do it now I migh' not
get the chance wha' with you plannin' on
killin' me 'n all."

 Who the hell is Howard?"

"Tha's right... You two were never properly introduced...
Howard were tha' fella on tha' book tour...
From the first leg of our trip that
I didn' write 'bout yet."

""Why'd ya skip all that anyways?"

"'Cause I didn' know
we were goin' tha' way ta begin with
'N someone guessed we were goin' tha' way
'n I said "Good guess, but no we weren't goin' tha' way"
'cause I thought we weren't goin' tha' way
but then we ended up goin' tha' way
 'cause the weather were real bad
the way we were origin'lly
gonna go."

"Jus' ferget I asked."

"So's... we ended up goin' tha' way..."

"Think ya said tha' already."

"'N anyways... I were
 real eager ta write 'bout the coast
 'cause tha' were the first place we'd ever been
 tha' weren't anythin' like anywheres else we'd ever been.
'Sides...  you were jus' bitchin' most a the way
'til we got ta the coast anyways
so there weren't tha' much
ta write about."

"I was not bitchin'."

"Ya were so.
Ya bitched all the way 'cross Nevada, Ed..."

"Did not. I distinctly remember
havin' some fun takin' pictures a tha' road while you were drivin'.
You got them pictures on yer computer...?"

"Hope so..."

"Lemme see 'em..."

"Hold on a sec...
Here they are... Ya did get some good pictures, Ed..."

 "'N I liked it in particular when
there weren't no lines on tha' road."

"Yeah... Tha' were real weird.
Sure glad it weren't nighttime though."

"Lucky there weren't no one else out there...
Seein' as how ya couldn' figure out wha' side ta stay on
'n you were drivin' down the middle a tha' road
fer a while there..."

"Ya know damn well I only did tha' so's you could get
a better picture, dumbass."

"Don' know no such thing."

"Well... Ya sure gotta admit ya bitched
'bout stoppin' in Rachel."

"Weren't no reason ta stop in Rachel.
'N I think they were exaggeratin' 'bout them 98 humans..."

"Was so a reason...
Had ta stop at tha' Little A'le'Inn."

"Been there before.
Knew there weren't no reason ta stop there again."

"Yeah there were.
'S always fun ta stop there."


"You just enjoy flirtin' with the bartender."

"Weren't flirtin'. Jus' talkin'. 'Sides...
After two bad husbands she done found herself a cowboy
'n she were right happy 'bout tha'."

"How the hell do ya find out tha' much in five minutes?"

"Found out a whole lot more 'n tha'."


"'N ya sure as hell didn' wanna stop fer Howard...
Had ta make ya turn 'round 'n go back."

"Gotta admit I didn' wanna stop.
Thought he migh' be crazy or somethin'."

"Howard weren't crazy. Eccentric maybe, but not crazy.
'N eccentric is good. This here world could use more eccentric folks.
'N it don' look it in the pictures... but remember how cold it were tha' day?
Wind blowin' so strong... Wouldna been righ' not ta stop
'n see if'n he were okay."

"It were freezin' tha' day...
Kinda s'prisin' considerin' it were June in the desert...
It were prob'bly broilin' hot the next."

"Think tha's more what Howard were 'xpectin'."

"Cain't believe he were on a book promotin' tour."

"Yeah. Think he said he were walkin' clear 'cross Nevada...
Ya sure gotta admire his determination."

"Wha' were the name a his book...?"

"'Quicksilver Key' were the one he were promotin'.
'The Last Grand Adventure' were his first.
'N his last name were West...
Howard West."

"Uh... Did ya ever tell him 'bout us...?
What if'n he sees himself in yer story 'n he don wanna be in it no more...
you know... on accounta us bein' queer 'n all...?"

"I didn' get a chance ta tell him 'bout us... but I don' think he'd mind...
'N I guess if'n he did he could jus' comment anonymously
'n then I'd take the part 'bout him out."

"If it's anonymous, how the hell wouldya know
that it's really him?"

"I could ask him the name a his donkey..."

"I remember... It were 'Bluebird'...
Thought tha' were a real nice name fer a donkey."

"Guess I'll just hafta ask him somethin' else now...
seein' as ya jus' went 'n said the donkey's name, dumbass."

"Ya don' gotta write down
ev'ry single word I say, dumbass."

"Yeah, I do."

"'N what if'n I do end up gettin' ya killed campin'...?
Ya won' be alive ta know if'n he don' wanna be in the story."

"Shit. I hadn' thought a tha'.
Maybe I'll leave instructions fer Iris... with my password...
Like an envelope sayin' only open in case
Ed ends up killin' me..."

"Yer nuts."

"But ya love me anyways, dontcha?"

"Yeah... Jus' cain't seem ta help m'self."

"By the way...
I remember ya bitchin' in the beautiful resort town a Tonopah too...
'Bout the price a gas as I recall."

"And the truck gettin' sandblasted 'cause a tha' goddamn wind.
We got blasted with all tha' shit the whole damn day.
S'prised ya couldn' see it flyin' through the air...
Pitted the windshield but good
'n tha' ticked me off."

"Yeah... Gotta admit... Tha' ticked me off too."

"Tha' wind were somethin' else..."

"'N after tha'...
ya bitched all 'round Lake Tahoe..."

We only drove 'round half of it..."

"We were real lucky we got there
'fore a lotta it burnt up a few weeks later..."

"Tha' were too bad."

"Yeah... them fires were' real bad this year."

"Don' remind me...
They came a l'il too close ta home too."

"Yeah. Tha' weren't good."

"'N I didn' bitch that much.
Tha' lake were really purty 'n all...
Jus' way too many folks 'round fer my taste."

"Summer season weren't even started yet.
'N ya gotta admit I kept ya away from folks most a the time, anyways.
Jus' like I did at the coast 'n everywheres else."

"Yeah. I guess. Above 'em anyways...
Most a the time..."

"Think the higher up ya got
the bluer tha' lake got."

"Did seem tha' way."

"'N there weren't no one 'round them l'il lakes we walked to...
Prob'bly 'cause we went real early-like."

"Yeah. They were real purty... 'Specially tha' second one.
Couldn' believe we had tha' place all to ourselves
fer over an hour... Almos' two, maybe..."

"'N I found us a nice secluded spot
so's that I could steal a kiss or two..."

"Think I gave up a couple a them withou'
too much of a fight."

"Tell ya... ain't never seen
 pine cones tha' big before in m' life...
They were purty interestin'."

"Lucky there weren't no one 'round...
Way you were carryin' on with them things..."

"Don' know wha' yer talkin' 'bout."

"Yeah. Sure ya don', dumbass..."

"Gotta admit... It
did get a l'il crazier
durin' the middle a the day..."

"Yep... Lots a boats 'n folks ev'rywhere...
'N all tha' construction didn' help neither..."

"Sure didn'."

"So's... How many pictures
 a them workers do ya got, Hank?"

"Not tha' many...
Justa few more 'sides these two..."

"Know you were jus' tryin' ta irritate me."

"Why the hell would I try 'n irritate someone
who was spendin' most a his time already bein' irritated
withou' no help from me?"

"Prob'bly irritated them too."

"Imagine they seen a lot worse than me."

"Could be."

"'N I still managed ta get ya 'way from folks
in the middle a the day too...
Didn' I...?"

"Tha' were a good idea you had...
Parkin' the truck 'n walkin' down inta tha'
park tha' was closed."

"Wha'd ya say, Ed...?
I didn' quite hear ya... Would ya mind repeatin' tha'...?
Think it were somethin' or other 'bout me
havin' a real good idea..."

"'Course it were prob'bly closed
on accounta the plague or the hanta virus
or somethin' like tha'...."

"Who the hell cares why it were closed...?
Least-wise we were alone 'n the walk down there was real nice
'n the views were real purty..."

"Yep. Them were some real good views...
Don' make no sense at all that it were closed."

"Glad it was though."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Quieted down real good later 'n the day too."

"Sure did. Tha' was nice, Hank..."

"Guess all them folks docked their boats
'n went back ta gamblin'."

"Yeah. But still... I gotta admit...
Tha' whole area's jus' too built up fer me.
'N I couldn' believe the cost a pitchin' a tent."

"Been a place fer vacationin' 'n skiin'
'n gamblin' fer a long time."

Least-wise ya didn' make me go gamblin'.
Cain't abide gamblin'."

"Yer soundin' like a prude, Ed."

"Ain't no prude... 'M cheap.
'N I jus' don' see the fun in losin' money."

"Ya musta liked tha' Lassen Volcano though...
Don' recall ya bitchin' much when we drove through there."

"Tha's 'cause there weren't hardly no one there..."

"Prob'bly 'cause it were still kinda cold 'n snowy."

"But it were real purty too."

"All them pictures a snow... Brrrr... Tha' reminds me...
Still wish I could finish writin' 'bout the trip
 'fore ya get me killed 'n all..."

"Ya don' really...? I mean... If'n yer really worried 'bout...
If'n ya really don' wanna go campin', Hank...
We don' gotta go..."

"Nah... I ain't really tha' worried 'bout it... 'Sides...
I'm the one tha' drug you all over hell 'n back this summer...
'N I drug ya ta tha' Thanksgivin' dinner at Betty's.
So's it's only fair we do what you
wanna do now."

"Jus' wouldn' wanna make ya go if'n yer gettin' one a them
strong feelin's 'bout it 'n all..."

"'M just playin' it up some..."

"Ya sure?"

"Yeah. 'N besides...
I 'magine there's worse ways ta go than
freezin' ta death in yer arms..."

"Ain't no way you'd ever freeze ta death
with me holdin' onta ya."

"Is that a promise?"

"Sure is. Ya wanna give it a test run?
Been real cold out... too cold ta have the window open...
So's how 'bout we close the heat vents up here
'n throw the windows open 'n see if'n
I can keep ya from dyin'
a 'xposure."

"Ya think ya can warm me up real good, huh...?"

"I'll give it my best shot."

"You go right ahead..."

"'N I wanna put the music on fer a change..."


"'Hot night in the country', huh?"

"Yep. Thought a l'il 'xtra insp'ration migh' help..."

"Jus' gotta change some a them pronouns."

"No problem.
Now c'mon over here, Hank."


"Damn... Okay, Ed...
'M convinced you can keep me warm...
Hot even... Jeez..."

"Told ya so."

"Now... How ya gonna keep all them bears away?"

"I could fight off a bear fer ya no problem."

"Black bear, maybe...
But wha' 'bout a big ol' grizzly bear?"

"No problem."

"Pack a hungry wolves?"

"No problem."

"Angry moose?"

"No problem."

"Irritated elk?"

"No problem."

"Crazed coyote?"

"No problem."

"Plague-infested bunny?"

"Ev'ry man fer his self."

"C'mere, dumbass..."


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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-13 05:17 pm (UTC)

The post was too long... So the end of the story is here:


"Mmmph... Tha' you, Ed...?"

"Some day yer gonna tell me 'xactly who else ya think it could be..."

"You okay...?"

"Sorry... Didn' mean ta wake ya... Jus' went ta take a piss."

"Ya closed the window 'cause ya got cold... didn' ya...?"


"C'mere, Ed... I'll warm ya up..."

"Thanks. Love ya, dumbass."

"Love you too, dumbass."


(Reply) (Thread)
From: ellenlj
2007-12-13 09:35 pm (UTC)

every man for himself


great stuff - thank you!

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-15 11:58 pm (UTC)

Re: every man for himself

So glad it made you *SNORT*! Thanks!
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From: (Anonymous)
2007-12-13 10:34 pm (UTC)
Why does that remind me of Waltz across Texas? :-) Though in this case, it seems to have been Nevada and California. Beautiful scenery, even if it does include plague-infested bunnies. Howard is definitely one of a kind, though one assumes he gets good stories out of his encounters with bemused fellow travelers. Wonder how many books he's carrying and how much he made out of his tour?

I wish Ed, Hank, and everyone who loves them joy in the holiday season and a peaceful, healthy and prosperous New Year filled with love and laughter. And if you go camping, make sure you stay real warm and bring extra socks.

I like to camp in front of the fireplace, myself, and as Ed demonstrated, you can make it feel real authentic without having to worry 'bout bears, wolves, moose, or diseased rodents of any kind. You can always close the window and make yourself a hot toddy, too. But you guys go right ahead--just make sure you come back safe, okay?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jennydcf
2007-12-13 10:35 pm (UTC)

That's me up there

Happy holidays from the gremlins at LJ! (Grumble)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-16 12:13 am (UTC)

Re: That's me up there

Yes, Howard is definitely one of a kind. Hank only wished he'd had had more time to talk him, but it was so damn cold and windy he felt guilty for keeping him standing there.

And I'm with you... I'd much rather camp out inside in front of the fireplace. :D

Happy holidays and a very happy and peaceful and healthy and prosperous new year to you and yours as well!

And thanks! - Hank just added extra socks to his (ugh) camping list.

Now... Off to listen to "Waltz Across Texas". Maybe I can get Ed to dance...

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: samtyr
2007-12-14 12:54 am (UTC)
Hee hee! I just love how certain people can walk up to a total stranger and know their life history in 5 minutes (or less), not to mention discovering (over 80% of the time anyway) that they have classmates, friends and/or relatives in common. This was great, thank you so much for sharing it.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-16 12:40 am (UTC)
Yeah - Hank doesn't generally get to talk to many folks besides Ed and Bill... so he takes the opportunity whenever it presents itself. (Even though it tends to irritate Ed sometimes. But then again, a lot of stuff irritates Ed. :) )

So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: lizzie1974
2007-12-14 02:57 pm (UTC)
Bwahahaha! This totally cracked me up;
"Mmmph... Tha' you, Ed...?"

"Some day yer gonna tell me 'xactly who else ya think it could be..."

Please tell Ed and Hank that I think that they are the most amazing men that ever walked around in a pair of boots! I love everything Hank writes about them, their roadtrips, their banter and everyday life!

Thank you so much, can never get enough of these two, always laughing my ass of and/or getting emotional.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-16 04:42 am (UTC)
Thanks! So glad they made you laugh!

And it is so nice of you to say everything you said - I will be sure to tell Ed and Hank, but they will surely blush.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2007-12-14 05:14 pm (UTC)

Love ya both, dumbasses....

If Hank's really worried bout bears on the winter camping trip, they should take along Edthedog and Hankthedog; I've been reliably informed by someone who used to live in northern Wisconsin that bears are TERRIFIED of dogs, even little bitty ones like Pomeranians!

And if you do go winter camping, guys, for the love of everyone who loves you, be CAREFUL about the ice! I DO NOT want to hear in a couple week that someone prominently featured in this LJ (be it Hank, Ed, Bill, Betty, or 'Blue) slipped and fell and broke bones!!!! (check out MY lj for the past week and you'll see why I'm 'hetup' on the subject)

*Smirks* I thought that looked like Area 51....
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-16 05:12 am (UTC)

Re: Love ya both, dumbasses....

Jeez... That's terrible! But I'm really glad your husband is doing better now. That 'Danger Thin Ice' sign must have made you cringe. :( I'm glad you have help with moving lined up too. As if the holidays aren't crazy enough...

We promise to be very careful. You too - it sounds like there are a lot of potentially icy hills around you.

I've heard that about bears and dogs too. And the dogs will definitely be coming along. We'll probably need them for extra warmth. (LOL! Loved your idea for smuggling Bel into the hospital.)

And I was wondering if you'd remember saying that looked like we were around Area 51. Yep. We were supposed to head the other way, towards Ely, and do the trip the other way around, but the weather was so bad the way we were headed that we changed direction.

Good luck with the move! Sure wish we were nearby to help...

::Sending many hugs and good thoughts your way::
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: trekfan
2007-12-15 04:35 am (UTC)
The photos are beautiful and I loved how you left your mark with those hearts.

Now I hope that Ed will keep ya warm in the cold tent Hank. I don't want to find you both in the spring thaw!

yer still welcome to come spend Xmas here in virginia :D Ed can still practice keeping you warm.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-16 05:20 am (UTC)
LOL! Ed sure as hell better keep Hank warm in that cold tent - He promised after all. Brrrr! And thanks - Hank is still lobbying for a trip to Virginia instead, it sounds so much better than freezing. :D

Glad you liked the photos and the hearts! Ed just shakes his head when Hank starts in with those hearts. (Of course, Hank then reminds Ed that he's the one that started it.)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: torry28
2007-12-15 04:52 am (UTC)
Maybe Ed is right, it is just to damn cold for old, sorry almost old bones to be exposed to icicle's and snow and sleet and wet and brrr and bears, but don't bears go into hibernation this time of year?, smart bears would. Why don't they just pitch a tent in the living room, get some fake snow, a fresh pine-tree for the woody scent, a CD playing all the animal and bird sound of the wild and huzzah, loving and snuggling can commence in a comfy warm cocoon. I think even Hank could not grumble to much with that, you think?
Happy Holidays to you and all of your Family.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-16 06:34 am (UTC)
Hank's sure hoping all those bears out there are hibernating. :D

And Hank definitely wouldn't grumble if they pitched a tent in the living room - a comfy warm cocoon sounds perfect, fake snow and all. :D (And I do believe every single one of their "almost old" bones would appreciate it!) Hank will certainly drop a few hints to Ed and hope he gets the drift.

Happy Holidays to you and yours too!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: joetheone
2007-12-16 05:09 am (UTC)


Yes true love will keep you two warm this holiday season and well at least you don't have to worry about the neighbors and their plastic display being destroyed. I loved the pictures of Lake Tahoe it is really beautiful and well Joe loves to gamble, I always set a limit but heck since I don't go out drinking anymore I figure 20 bucks at the casino is ok once in awhile. LOL I won 400 the other night I must admit and poor Pat though lost 50 so we balanced out but it can be dangerous also. You just have to go with the expectation that you are going to lose all of your money so don't take any money you don't want to lose. Hmm I sure hope that your campsite has a nice fire pit for the two of you and maybe some battery operated christmas lights to make it festive. I will sing to you my favorite Christmas carols as you lay in the tent all warm and toasty. Joe
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2007-12-16 06:55 am (UTC)

Re: Love

LOL! Luckily Edthedog and Hankthedog have stuck close to home since their plastic sheep rampage last year. Congratulations on winning $400! I like your idea of just going with the expectation of losing so you don't lose more than you can afford to. Hank would probably enjoy a little gambling now and then, but Ed dislikes the thought of it so much that Hank never tries to talk him into it. Also love the idea of battery operated lights for the campsite... that will surely make it seem a little warmer too. (As will your singing those carols too!)
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