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Ed and Hank That fella who was Ennis... Disclaimer: Hank told… - myeyesaintblue — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Jan. 25th, 2008|08:12 am]
[music |In between what might have been and what has come to pass...]

Ed and Hank

That fella who was Ennis...

Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other.

Everything else is here:

That fella who was Ennis...

"Wha's wrong, Hank...?"

"I just heard, Ed... Heath Ledger... ya know... tha' fella who was Ennis... He died..."

"Wha'...? Yer kiddin'...? Wha' the hell happened...?"

"They ain't sure... Said it looks like an overdose a sleepin' pills.... 'N it sounds like it were an accident... He'd been sufferin' with insomnia 'n maybe sick with pneumonia some folks said..."

"Jeez... Tha's terrible. He were so young... You okay, Hank...?"

"No. I ain't."


"It's jus' so damn sad, Ed... I cain't hardly believe it... He were a damn fine actor... 'N he had his whole life ahead a him... 'N his l'il girl... Shit... It just don' make no sense..."

"I know it don't, Hank."

"'S weird... I feel so bad... But I didn' know him or nothin'... Felt like I did though... on accounta how good he were at bein' Ennis in tha' movie... 'N I heard he were a real good guy..."

"Jus' 'cause ya don' know someone don' mean ya don' feel it when they're gone... Bound ta feel bad fer his friends... fer his family... fer tha' l'il girl... 'n fer ev'rythin' tha' coulda been... everythin' tha' shoulda been..."

"Damn. It's jus' so fuckin' sad, Ed..."

"It sure is, Hank. Wait a minute... Lemme lookatcha... You got one a yer headaches...?"

"Yeah... I been fightin' it off all day... But 's comin' on like gangbusters now."

"Thought ya had tha' look 'bout ya..."

"Think 'm gonna go upstairs 'n try ta take a nap... Try 'n not think 'bout this righ' now..."

"D'ya wan' some company?"

"Sure... Who'd ya have in mind...?"

"Bill's gone home fer the day... So's you'd be stuck with me."

"Ain't no one I'd rather be stuck with... But ya don' gotta..."

"Wouldn' mind doin' some readin'... If'n the light from my side a the bed won' bother yer head..."

"Nah... Tha' light ain't too bright... 'N I'll jus' put somethin' over m' eyes anyways..."

"You go ahead Hank. I'll be up in a minute... I'll bring ya some aspirin 'n a glass a water... 'n I'll bring along Edthdog 'n Hankthedog, too... Ya wan' anythin' else...?"

"I'd wan' whiskey if'n I didn' have this damn headache... But fer now you 'n the dogs 'n a couple a aspirin oughta do... Long as them dogs keep quiet..."

"They'll keep quiet so's long as you do."

"True 'nough."

"'N how 'bout we let them dogs up on the bed fer once...?"

"Fer once, huh...? You think I ain't seen you lettin' them up there before...?"

"Don' know whatcher talkin' 'bout, Hank. 'Sides... you do it too..."

"Didn' never say I didn'."

"You go on... I'll be right up..."

"Thanks, Ed."


"Hey, Ed... Wha' time is it...?"

"'S late... Sorry... didn' mean ta wake ya... I were jus' comin' back ta bed... You go on back ta sleep..."

"'M kinda wide awake righ' now..."

"You feelin' better...?"

"My head is anyways..."

"Good. Gotta tell ya somethin', Hank..."

"Shit. Tell me wha'...? Not no more bad news...?"

"Ain't bad news... Jus' 'tha'... after ya fell asleep... I couldn' concentrate on readin'... 'n I couldn' sleep... 'n I couldn' help thinkin' 'bout tha' fella... 'bout him dyin' 'n all..."

"It's jus' so damn sad."

"...'N wha' with him havin' played Ennis... 'n Ennis kinda bein' based on me... 'n ya said he did a real good job... 'n I jus' figured... I figured it were time I stopped bein' so damn stubborn... so's I got up 'n I went downstairs... 'n I watched it... I watched tha' movie..."

"Shit... You mean...? Ya don' mean...? Ya did...?"

"Yeah. I did. Jus' figured it were 'bout time... past time, even..."

"But... Why didn' ya wait 'n watch it with me...? Ya know I woulda wanted ta be there with ya..."

"Couldn', Hank... I jus' couldn'... It were somethin' I needed ta do by m'self. 'Sides... ya woulda been starin' at me the whole way through..."

"No I wouldna..."

"Yeah. Ya woulda. Sneakin' looks anyways. Woulda driven me nuts."

"Guess yer righ'... Jeez, Ed... So's... Ya wanna talk 'bout it...?"

"Tell ya Hank... I were 'fraid ta watch it fer so long... 'Fraid ta see all my fear a livin'... my fear a lovin' ya... spread out fer the whole world ta see... But... The way tha' fella... Heath Ledger... was Ennis... Ya knew what he were goin' through... Ya knew why... 'N ya knew how much he loved Jack... Ya jus' knew ev'rythin' there was ta know... Withou' him hardly sayin' nothin'... It were... I dunno... I ain't got the words fer it..."

"Ya got plenty a words, Ed... 'N yer stringin' 'em ta gether jus' fine."

"Damn... It were a real hard movie ta watch... Real hard. But good too. Both a them fellas were real good... Story were real diff'rent than ours in a lotta ways a 'course... 'n thanks be fer tha... but all them feelin's... them sure were the same."

"Sure were."

"'N it ain't what I were 'xpectin' in some ways... Lotta the movie weren't even them two ta gether... But when it were... 'n they were... Jeez..."


"'N I gotta admit... I woulda liked ta have seen more of 'em... uh... ta gether... 'n all..."

"Ya woulda, huh...?"

"Yeah... It were kinda frustratin'... Ya wanted 'em ta be ta gether more... But I guess tha' movie did that on purpose... On accounta tha's what it were like fer them livin'... Same as what it were like fer us... fer all them years... most a our time spent apart... Always waitin' on the few days we'd have ta gether."

"We sure spent a whole helluva lotta time waitin'..."

"'N I jus'... I dunno... It made me feel real sad... but real lucky too... Don' sound righ'... Seems wrong ta say it... But I don' know how else ta put it... Lucky tha' somethin' like tha' didn' happen ta us... ta you... Lucky tha' we made it... Hell... Sometimes I still don' know how we managed it...."

"Me neither, Ed..."

"'N I got the feelin' watchin' tha' one part... Them arguin'... Ennis breakin' down... 'fore Jack got killed... Tha' maybe it were already too late... Tha' Jack was thinkin' 'bout tryin' ta leave Ennis... Workin' on pullin' his self away 'cause he couldn' go through it no more... Always leavin' each other... again 'n again 'n again... 'N tha's what I think mighta happened ta us if'n... "


"Know it coulda... Ya told me last year that if'n I hadn' a moved ta the ranch with ya by the time Iris went off on her own you planned on sellin' it 'n leavin' once yer folks passed... So's I know how easy I coulda lost ya... Jus' like Ennis lost Jack... Not in the same way... But it woulda felt jus' the same... Damn... Tha' were hard ta watch... him findin' them shirts... 'n realizin' ev'rythin' too late... Shit..."

"I know I had leavin' ya all planned out, Ed... The what 'n when 'n how 'n why of it... But plannin' 'n doin' are two diff'rent things... Told ya before... Weren't sure I ever woulda been able ta go through with it... 'N... I dunno... but I think it mighta been the same fer Jack... Think he woulda been there come November... If'n he coulda... 'N 'sides... you did move here... 'n yer sittin' here next ta me righ' now... 'N tha's all tha' matters..."

"True 'nough. 'N 'm awful glad 'm sittin' here next ta ya..."

"Yeah. Me too."

"'N now I know why ya think there could be some other fellas Annie talked ta too... Tha' story... it jus' rings so true... 'n it's so damn... Jeez... so damn..."

"Think 'heartbreakin'' is the word yer lookin' fer."

"Yeah. Tha'd be it."

"'N as if tha' story weren't heartbreakin' 'nough on it's own... Now it's even worse... Wha' with..."

"Yeah... 'S a damn shame."

"But I'm real glad ya watched it... Though 'm awful sad 'bout what it was tha' fin'lly inspired ya ta do it. Gladly woulda gone withou' ya ever watchin' it at all if'n tha' could be undone."

"Sad movie... 'N a sad day."

"Yeah... But I know tha' movie changed some folks thinkin'... 'n some folks' lives... 'N Heath Ledger's Ennis were a real big part a the reason why. Hell... Tha' movie changed our lives... even though you didn' even watch it 'til tonight. Damn... Is a real sad day though... 'N 'm jus' so damn mad 'bout it too... Seems so fuckin' senseless..."

"Whole lotta things in this world don' make no sense."

"Least-wise... Short as it was... He sure as hell did live his life..."

"Yeah... Took me a helluva lot longer ta realize tha's what it's there fer. Hate ta think how close I mighta come ta endin' up like Ennis... 'n maybe draggin' you 'long with me... Jus' glad I had the chance ta learn tha' lesson... Hell... Think 'm still tryin' ta learn it... Know I am..."

"Yeah... Me too, Ed... Ain't always a easy lesson ta learn."

"Be glad ta tutor ya anytime, Hank..."

"Thanks. I 'preciate it."

"Yer welcome. But..."


"That's it...? Nothin' more smart-ass than tha'...?"

"Sorry,  Ed... How 'bout I give ya a raincheck on tha'...? Pick it up some other day maybe..."

"Gonna hold ya to it."

"So's... Wouldya mind if'n I put some music on, Ed...?"

"I don' mind... Ain't too sleepy yet, m'self..."

"Brace yer self then... Since my headache's gone... 'm turnin' it on loud. Real loud... Here..."


"You gotta be kiddin'...?"

"Nope. I ain't kiddin'. Righ' now I got a whole lotta anger 'n sadness ta work on out... 'N I cain't think a no better way..."

"Than twistin' 'n shoutin', huh...?"

"Yep... 'Specially tha' there shoutin' part... 'N 'm sure the dogs'll do their part..."

"Woof...!" "Woof...!"

"But I'll be needin' yer help too, Ed..."

"Well... In tha' case... Shake it up, baby, now... Shake it up, baby... Twist and shout.... Twist and shout... C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon baby, now... C'mon baby..."

"C'mon 'n work it on out, Ed..."

"I am, Hank..."

"Know you can do better 'n tha'...  C'mon 'n twist a l'il closer, now... 'N lemme know tha' yer mine."

"'M yers alrigh', dumbass..."

"Yer damn righ' ya are. 'N 'm damn thankful fer ev'ry minute I get ta spend with ya."


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From: katecaton
2008-01-25 05:16 pm (UTC)
This was great..thank you. I agree with Ed in every way..I wish we'd seen more of them together too, and I couldn't articulate why Heath's death is so sad, and seems like such a personal loss either. Thank goodness for Ed and Hank,
Love Kate x
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 03:45 am (UTC)
Heath's death really did feel like a personal loss... and Hank is still feeling it, but it helps to know he's not alone.
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[User Picture]From: torry28
2008-01-25 05:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you blue, Ed and Hank,
I hope you keep on visiting ,bet Heath would like that very much, and I couldn't stand having to miss you too.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 03:47 am (UTC)
Hugs back to you Torry. Thanks for always being so sweet. Ed and Hank will try to keep on visiting, but may need to take a break for a little while.
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From: ravenfox62
2008-01-25 05:29 pm (UTC)
Don't think I've commented on this story before..but I've been reading and enjoying. Just wanted to thank you for this chapter in particular. It was great.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 03:53 am (UTC)
Thanks, I'm glad you've been reading and enjoying Ed and Hank.
Although I must admit, this is one chapter Hank never wanted to write.

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[User Picture]From: tmn1966
2008-01-25 05:29 pm (UTC)
Ed and Hank, I couldn't have said any of it any better! Thanks guys!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 03:54 am (UTC)
Thanks. Hank just wish he had never had to say any of it at all.
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[User Picture]From: argentine65
2008-01-25 05:49 pm (UTC)

Ed and Hank and Heath

Ed and Hank and blue thank you for being with me in good and bad times. Martha
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 03:54 am (UTC)

Re: Ed and Hank and Heath

Martha, Thank you for being with Ed and Hank and me in good times and in bad too.
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[User Picture]From: jennasts
2008-01-25 06:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, wonderful. Thank you so much for this. Bless Ed and Hank for saying what so many of us are trying to express. It is a stroke of genius that Ed finally watched the movie.

Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 03:58 am (UTC)
Thanks, Jenna. Hank never thought Ed was going to watch that movie and he's glad he did, but he's very sorry for what inspired it.
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[User Picture]From: graciesdaddy
2008-01-25 06:43 pm (UTC)

I haven't cried for Heath...

...until now.

Thank you!

...more shall be revealed...

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 03:59 am (UTC)

Re: I haven't cried for Heath...

Thanks for sharing that. Hank was pretty numb for a while too, before he was able to let it out some.
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[User Picture]From: verob2002
2008-01-25 07:31 pm (UTC)
Great job! Really captured what a lot of us are thinking and going through especially the not knowing him but still being affected just the same from the kind of person he seems to be and we felt we knew.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 04:03 am (UTC)
Thanks. It helps to know we're all feeling and going through the same thing.
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From: mazaher
2008-01-25 08:14 pm (UTC)

thank you

...for giving us all a voice.
Our projections are retired, the mirror is broken, the screen is torn, and we are each alone with ourselves...
I'm really happy that things went well for E&H.
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 04:04 am (UTC)

Re: thank you

Thanks. Hopefully, in time it will get easier to deal with.
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[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2008-01-25 08:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

*hugs 'Blue, Ed, Hank*

*Cries on virtual shoulders*

-Mary/Dances With Chows
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 04:07 am (UTC)
(((Many hugs back)))
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[User Picture]From: joetheone
2008-01-25 11:07 pm (UTC)

Thank you

This has been an emotional week for sure. I am glad tht Ed finally watched the movie even though alone. It really was a difficult thing for me to realize that I had a lot of Ennis in me and some of Jack and now with this movie the forum the stories I think it helps to keep the two together and in doing that keep me together as a whole by putting the best of Jack and Ennis together is a good thing. I feel at such a loss this week mourning Heath Ledger a man I did not know but a man who reached way deep down in his own soul and researched and brought out the emotions and feelings that well i think a lot of us have buried deep within us and the gift he gave us in helping us to awaken to realize this was something I can never ever truly understand how he did it. I have done some minor acting and have loads of friends in the field and well I don't care what anyone tells me what he did in this movie was truly special. Anyway thanks for the song and thanks for being you. Joe
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 04:15 am (UTC)

Re: Thank you

Hey Joe, I agree with you wholeheartedly, what Heath Ledger "did in this move was truly special." He truly touched a lot of lives and hopefully helped to change a lot of people's thinking. Hank is determined to make Ed watch the movie with him someday. Just not too soon. Hank still hasn't been able to watch it again. And I think it's a great combination to have a lot of Ennis in you and some of Jack.
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[User Picture]From: samtyr
2008-01-25 11:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you blue, Ed and Hank. *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 04:16 am (UTC)
(((hugs back to you to))) Thanks.
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2008-01-26 01:30 am (UTC)

Your userpic made me smile, and feel hugged.

"Whole lotta things in this world don' make no sense."

"Least-wise... Short as it was... He sure as hell did live his life..."

"Yeah... Took me a helluva lot longer ta realize tha's what it's there fer. Hate ta think how close I mighta come ta endin' up like Ennis... 'n maybe draggin' you 'long with me... Jus' glad I had the chance ta learn tha' lesson... Hell... Think 'm still tryin' ta learn it... Know I am..."

"Yeah... Me too, Ed... Ain't always a easy lesson ta learn."

Tell Ed and Hank that I think if Heath only showed us that lesson during his short life, his would have been well lived. Then I think of the laughter and joy I felt just watching him living his life, the talent he shared onscreen and off- just the incredible impact he made on my life alone, and I have to believe there's a reason it had to happen. Otherwise, it makes no sense.

Ed watched the film when it was time. Now he, too, know the gift we were given in Heath's Ennis.

And 'Blue, I thank you for being such a friend. Again, I have Heath to thank for meeting you. So we hug each other (even virtually) and mourn, but we also have to celebrate Heath's life- for without him and his generous talent, our lives would be far poorer.

And Edthedog and Hankthedog, get on up on the bed. The boys are gonna be twistin' and shoutin' for awhile.



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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2008-01-26 01:56 am (UTC)

Maybe I should mention this really made me tear up?

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[User Picture]From: schlopki
2008-01-26 01:31 am (UTC)
thank you *sobs*

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 04:24 am (UTC)
Thanks. It helps that Hank was able to share how he felt with everyone.
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[User Picture]From: bbmgirlfan
2008-01-26 03:48 am (UTC)
That was sweet!

It was nice to share the grief with Ed and Hank, and comforting to see this wisdom...

"Jus' 'cause ya don' know someone don' mean ya don' feel it when they're gone....
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-01-29 04:26 am (UTC)
Thanks. It's helps to know that so many other folks feel the same way.
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