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Ed and Hank - Road Trippin' (21) On the road again... (But… - myeyesaintblue [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Mar. 14th, 2008|06:37 am]

Ed and Hank - Road Trippin' (21)

On the road again...
not exactly how Hank expected...)

and a lot shorter than Hank expected. Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope. Comments: Always appreciated.

Everything else is here:

On the road again...
not exactly how Hank expected...)

"Hey, Ed...
We're gonna be crossin' tha' Mississippi River...
Wouldya take some pictures...?"


"Meant of the river, dumbass..."

"Ya know if'n ya'd let me drive
you could take pictures a whatever ya wanted ta..."

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind..."

"Hey, Hank...
This one where yer flippin' me off turned out kinda blurry...
Wouldya mind doin' that again...?"

"Be glad ta."


'N I mean tha'..."

"So's... this is Wisconsin, huh...?"

"Yep. America's Dairyland..."

"Looks kinda like a l'il scruffier version a Iowa."

"Good job, Ed...
Think ya just insulted all the fine folks
tha' reside in Wisconsin."

"Didn' mean 'scruffier' in a bad way...
Think maybe there's jus' more trees... Or somethin'...
Hell... I dunno..."

"Hey... Lookit them cows...
Sure hope they got the proper gover'ment permits required
ta assemble like tha'..."

"Does look like they're up ta somethin'..."

"They're prob'bly plottin' how ta get them giant cow statues we saw in Iowa
outta tha' state 'n inta Wisconsin... Where they belong...
Giant cows are s'posed ta be in Wisconsin."

"Iowa oughta have giant pigs.
'N we didn' see even one giant pig statue."

"Ya wanna see a giant pig, huh, Ed...?"

"Didn' say I wanted ta see one... Jus' said we didn' see one.
There's a diff'rence, dumbass."

"So's ya wouldn' wanna see a giant pig statue...?"

"If'n I were ta happen ta drive righ' by a giant pig maybe I'd stop 'n take a look...
But I sure as hell wouldn' go outta m' way ta see one...
Not like some other dumbass I know..."

"Sure wish our town had some giant statues...
We jus' got regular-size statues...
like Henry 'n some others..."

"'N tha' dumbass lighthouse on the south end a town..."
Gotta tell ya, Hank... I jus' don't get tha'..."

"Think it's s'posed ta be funny...
on accounta the nearest ocean's a helluva long ways away...
'N tha's as the crow flies..."

"Be a real tired crow by the time he gets there."

"Or maybe they jus' got a real good deal on it...
Ya know... half price or somethin'... 'n they couldn' pass it up..."

"Lucky fer us it weren't buy one get one free."

"Hell... It shoulda been a giant sheep...
We should least-wise have a few giant sheep 'round..."

"Our state does got a whole lotta sheep."

"Maybe I could start buildin' a giant sheep statue
in the field behind the barn..."

"Behind the barn...?
Hell... Why not in fron' a the house...?"

"Somehow don't think ya mean tha'..."

"Damn right I don't. 'Sides...
A giant sheep statue might aggravate the horses...
'N them dogs... bound ta irritate the hell outta them dogs....
Maybe even give 'em some kinda complex...
Sure do miss them dogs..."

"Me too, Ed. But Bill said they're doin' good..."

"Miss Bill too. 'N the horses.
'N I miss workin'..."

"You would miss workin'..."

"'Fraid 'm gettin' all soft..."

"Soft, huh...?
Sure as hell coulda fooled me last nigh'..."

"Yer mind got any other tracks, dumbass...?"

"One or two maybe...
But that one's definitely m' fav'rite..."

"Hey, Hank..."

"Jeez, Ed... Know I said it before...
But I swear 'm gonna put a big ol' bell on ya one a these days..."

"Good luck with tha'.
So's... Yer up earlier than usual...
Thought I'd get up here early 'nough ta wake ya up..."

"Yeah... I jus' started tryin' ta write 'bout our trip again... 'Course I shouldna been lookin' at the news first... 'cause then I jus' get all ticked off 'bout stuff... Tell ya... it was a real treat ta hear tha' Congresswoman... Sally Kern her name is... sayin' tha' 'gay folks are worse than terrorists' 'n tha' we're infiltratin' schools 'n all... Betcha anythin' a fine upstandin' Christian lady such as herself is all fer waterboardin' prisoners too... 'N didya hear what our fearless leader said...? 'Bout how he's 'envious' a them soldiers in Afghanistan...? He said how if'n he were 'younger and not employed here' that he thinks it'd be 'fantastic' 'n 'exciting' 'n 'romantic'... ta be over there 'confrontin' danger' 'n buildin' a democracy... Guess tearin' down our own democracy ain't romantic 'n excitin' 'nough fer him... Hey... I got an idea... Maybe we could all pitch in 'n send him over to Afghanistan or Iraq when he's done here so's he can fill up on all the romance 'n 'xcitement tha's so sorely lackin' in his own life... 'Course if'n he were ta get his leg blown off or somethin' tha' migh' take some a the romance outta it fer him..."


"But there is some good news... Tha' General Petreaus is sayin' tha' tha' surge is actually workin'... turns out the whole problem with it is tha' them Iraqis ain't takin' the proper advantage of it... But he does concede how some a them insurgents migh' not be total idiots 'n tha' they migh' jus' be sittin' it out fer a while 'n waitin' fer tha' there surge ta end... 'Course we've also been payin' 'em not ta shoot at us... I imagine that helps some... Least-wise 'til we stop payin' 'em... Shit, Ed... I gotta tell ya..."

"Ya don't gotta tell me nothin'... I know how bad it all is... 'bout all we can do is keep writin' all them letters protestin' wha's goin' on... 'n hope there migh' be a change fer the better this year... Now... C'mon, Hank... I wantcha ta get up from tha' chair 'n back away from tha' there computer... real slow-like..."

"C'mon yerself, dumbass... I'll come out 'n help ya in an hour or two... I ain't wrote 'bout our trip in a month a Sundays... Least-wise tha's what it's seemed like..."

"Well it's waited tha' long so's it can wait a l'il longer... We're goin' campin'. 'N we're leavin' righ' now."

"Campin'...? Wha' the hell are ya talkin' 'bout...? Ya wanna go spend some time in that ol' trailer out back again or somethin'...?"

"Bill's gonna watch the place fer the next week or more if'n we want... 'n his nephews are gonna help out on the weekends 'n after school if'n he needs it... Otherwise Betty'll keep him company some so's he don't get too lonely without us..."

"I ain't ready ta go campin'..."

"Well I am. I got the truck all packed... Got them camp pads 'n sleepin' bags 'n plenty a food 'n booze 'n whatnot... So's come on, already..."

"But I ain't packed..."

"Yeah ya are. I packed jeans 'n t-shirts 'n underwear 'n socks fer ya... If'n ya think yer gonna be needin' a tuxedo we'll jus' stop 'n rent one on the way."


"No more buts... We been cooped up here on this ranch fer too long..."

"Guess these here wide open spaces are closin in on ya, huh, Ed...?"

"Not on me... But I think the whole damn world migh' be closin' in on you... Thought we should go somewheres where ya cain't keep up with the news fer a while... 'n tha' means ya gotta leave tha' laptop at home too... So's... You comin'...? Or am I takin' Bill 'n leavin' you here ta watch the place...?"

"I'm comin'... Wouldn' wan' Bill goin' with ya on our honeymoon instead a me..."

"Ain't a honeymoon, dumbass..."

"First trip since we 'xchanged them rings, ain't it...?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Then I think it qualifies as one a them honeymoons."

"Guess tha' means we hafta interrupt the second fer the third..."

"Hell... I'll take as many as I can get... So's... you got cds in the truck...?"

"Not no more 'n usual..."

"I'll grab some... Hey, Ed... How 'bout dog food...? You got dog food packed...?"

"'Course I don't... Why...? You developin' a taste fer it...? Hell... Sure would like ta take them dumbass dogs... but ya know they don't like drivin' 'round in the truck... Prob'bly on accounta bein' dumped like they were..."

"Yeah...? Well, I think maybe they finally got over it... Look out the window..."

"Shit. If'n tha' don't beat all... They musta managed ta jump in through that open window somehow... Sure as hell woulda liked ta have seen tha'..."

"Or maybe Bill let 'em in or somethin'..."

"It looks like Edthedog wants ta drive..."

"There's a big s'prise. Ya know... I bet they saw ya packin' up tha' truck 'n got worried we migh' be gone as long as we was last summer..."

"Or they're real sick a Iristhecat bossin' 'em 'round... Well... either way... guess I better go throw some dog food 'n whatnot in the truck..."

"While you do that I'll just post this real quick-like... So's folks'll know where we got ourselves off to..."

"Don't take too long, dumbass."

"Only be a couple a minutes, dumbass..."

"Yeah right... You better meet me by the truck in fifteen minutes."

"Make it thirty 'n ya got a deal."

"Fine. Thirty. But no more."

"Where we goin' anyways...?"

"You gettin' senile...? I already told ya... were goin' campin'..."

"Ya know damn well I meant where are we gonna go campin'..."

"How the hell should I know...? Jeez... Ya cain't 'xpect me ta do everythin'... You pick a direction 'n we'll point the truck thataway 'n see where we end up... I'd jus' prefer it weren't no more 'n a daylight's drive away..."

"Hey... Maybe we could head up ta Yellowstone...?"

"Sorry ta disappoint ya... know how much ya love watchin' all them geysers eruptin' 'n all... but I bet most a them roads won't be open up there fer 'nother month or more..."

"True 'nough... Maybe I'll check the weather a few other places real quick-like..."

"Holdin' ya to tha' thirty minutes..."

"You shoulda gave me more time... I coulda made some plans..."

"'S 'xactly why I didn'..."

"Ya know... I kinda hate ta tell ya this... but it migh' be real busy wherever we end up, Ed... 'S spring break time a year 'n I think it migh' be Easter comin' up... 'S real early this year fer some reason... You okay with tha'...?"

"Shit... Didn' pay no attention ta when Easter was... But... Hell... Ya figure there's gotta be some corner a the west we can find ta call our own..."

"Well why don't we go see if'n we cain't find tha' corner..."

"Sounds good ta me."

"And... Ed...?"



"Yer welcome. Now hurry the hell up."



P.S. Okay, it's two dogs and they're named Edthedog and Hankthedog, not Boo, and Ed and Hank aren't exactly gonna be livin' off the land and they've never been anywhere near Georgia or stolen from an old hen or any other creature for that matter... and, yeah, it's kinda a lame song, but y'all know Hank likes a lotta them lame old songs and he didn't exactly have too long to think on it anyways...

"Time's up, Hank...!"

"Be righ' there, Ed... Keep yer shirt on... Or not... Either way'd be fine with me. 'Course if'n I were ta be real honest, I'd have ta say that I'd prefer it off ya ta on ya... But I know ya wouldn' be real comfortable drivin' withou' yer shirt on 'n all... so's..."

"Hell... I'd take m' shirt and m' pants off if'n I thought it'd make you move any faster..."

"Go on, Ed... give it a try... Let's see what happens..."

"How 'bout we jus' save the striptease fer later, dumbass... C'mon, already... we're wastin' daylight..."

"Just a sec..."

"Fine. 'M gonna go get Bill... ask him if'n he wants ta go with me... seein' as you don't seem ta..."

"You gonna strip fer him...? You better not strip fer him..."

"See ya in about a week, Hank..."

"Wait up, Ed..."

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[User Picture]From: jennasts
2008-03-14 03:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, wonderful! I hope Ed and Hank have a good, refreshing, relaxing, mind-calming time while camping. I think this trip is a reflection of true lurve on Ed's part, don't you? What a total sweetheart! To know that Hank needs to get away. Which it seems he really does.

I have been told one thing about my paternal grandfather, who died a month before my father was born, and that is that he used to bend over the newspaper with great anger, banging his fist against the table, he was that upset about the news of the day. And that was back in the 1910s.... There is still so much today to drive us crazy, but it's like Ed says, we need to keep writing, keep speaking and keep trying to be heard. Giving up isn't a good option.

Thanks for posting this. Tell Ed and Hank hello and good-bye for me!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 04:06 pm (UTC)
Hey Jenna,
Yep, Hank really needed to get away and he did have a relaxing and mind-calming time while camping. (Ed had a good time too.) Of course now that Hank's all refreshed he's back to banging his fist against the table just like your grandpa...

And yeah, Ed was (and still is) a total sweetheart and I think it was definitely a reflection of 'true lurve' on his part. (More than you know (yet)... :D )
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[User Picture]From: jennasts
2008-03-31 04:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, intriguing! "More than you know (yet)..." I can't wait!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 07:55 pm (UTC)
Well, Hank might have mis-spoke a little... it's really not all that excitin' or interestin' even, but of course that's never stopped Hank from writing about things before.
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From: (Anonymous)
2008-03-14 04:03 pm (UTC)

current events

and deciding the appropariate amount of energy when there is so much gone wrong, and it would be so easy to do nothing... love that Ed recognizes boh the need to do, and the need to rest

and I love how Hank - no matter how harried - always, always has time to flirt with Ed

that's my favorite thing!

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From: ellenlj
2008-03-14 04:04 pm (UTC)

Re: current events

sorry, not logged in
that was me

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 04:14 pm (UTC)

Re: current events

Yeah... Ed does help keep Hank on an even keel and no matter how crazy, oops, I mean harried, Hank gets he will definitely always find time to flirt with Ed. That's Hank's favorite thing too. (Well, one of his favorite things...)
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[User Picture]From: tatia85
2008-03-14 07:32 pm (UTC)
Ed&Hank are the best!^__^ they are going camping again! Lucky them! =D so cute... Hank is really too worried. To live a good life you got not to read too much politic, I believe!
I can't understand one thing, though: why some US people are so concerned about homosexuality? O.o Shit, I am Italian, big catholic country and it isn't like that here.
I don't understand... must say that it is kinda of a joke around here. So, at the top of being stupid and doing stupid thing, they give a bad reputation to a whole lot of good US people.

*endin the "Rattle with Hank" show! For now at least XD*

Back to our favourite boys, I did this today: http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/6432/edandhankbg7.png it is just stupid! And I think I get Ed all wrong, but all we know about them is that Hank got green eyes... so I gave him fair hairs, and made Ed a lil bit darker. Hopes it is ok!

Thank you! Keep writing about them, Ed&Hank are one of the good things of life!^__^
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 04:34 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Ed and Hank know they were very lucky to be able to go camping again. (And to be able to take off as often as they do.) And Hank can't understand why people here in the U.S. are so concerned about homosexuality either. ('Stupid' is certainly the right word to describe it.) He holds out hope that a whole lot of folks aren't... and that they just aren't as loud about it as the folks that are.

Love your picture of Ed and Hank! They're very flattered that you made them look so young and cute. Love all the hearts too. Ed has never wanted Hank to describe them too much when he writes, so Ed and Hank can look however you want them to look. :D
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[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2008-03-14 07:40 pm (UTC)
Fine! Get my hopes up with that Mississippi River bridge, 'Uncle' Hank....

*pouts* Wis-CON-sin..... *grumble grumble*


(still love ya, though)

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[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2008-03-15 02:34 pm (UTC)
Seriously, you know how in dreams you just *Know* things? well, the other night I dreamed that we were putting a bunch of furniture and stuff out on the front porch - cleaning for a yard sale, and these three people walked up and the one who looked a bit like the guy in 'Tin Man' except for the eyes said 'hey, darlin'' and I KNEW that was Hank, and the guy who looked kinda like my late uncle Keith was Ed, and 'Blue' looks a lot like my best friend from college! And I asked how you found me, and ED kinda shuffled his feet and blushed and confessed that they'd gone up to the church and asked the nice lady organizing the wedding where they might find the gal with the Chows who'd just moved....

And we all had pie and porkchop sandwiches on the porch. And Bel didn't bark once or hide (I think she fell in love with you-all, and she's not the only one...)
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 04:42 pm (UTC)
LOL! Sorry about the Wis-CON-sin... Hank swears he had no idea about what Ed was planning so it's all Ed's fault.

Love that Ed and Hank and I managed to come for a visit in your dreams. (And now they know how to find you if they're ever in your neck of the woods...) And I'm not surprised that Bel didn't bark or hide -- Ed has always had that affect on dogs. They just love him.

Pie and porkchop sandwiches, huh...? Yummm. How's a week from next Tuesday look for you?
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[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2008-04-01 03:42 pm (UTC)
Might be doable.... make sure you inquire at the Presbyterian church on the Hill, not the Lutheran (they're Missouri Synod, they're STRANGE!!!)

Taking pie requests -- speak now or make do with pot-luck!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-04-03 04:54 am (UTC)
Thanks! We will make a note about which church so we don't end up at the strange one.

And pot-luck is just fine pie-wise... Trust me, we all eat ANY flavor of pie. Maybe Hank can make one to bring along... Hope apple is okay.
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[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2008-04-03 01:15 pm (UTC)

For Realz?

Apple pie is fine.... but seriously?

PM me at furbywrangler1@yahoo dot com if you honestly and truly need directions, 'blue.

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-04-03 02:23 pm (UTC)

Re: For Realz?

Sure do wish it was seriously and for realz... I will start working on trying to get Ed to leave the ranch again. I think he might be dug in for a while...
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-04-03 02:46 pm (UTC)

Re: For Realz?

P.S. Of course if you're ever in our neck of the woods (Utah) email me for directions at myeyesaintblue@yahoo.com
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From: cynical21
2008-03-14 11:41 pm (UTC)

I just cannot say enough . . .

to express my admiration for your ability to tell such a complex, moving story entirely through the medium of dialog. This is a triumph that most professionals wouldn't dream of trying.

Truly phenomenal.

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 04:59 pm (UTC)

Re: I just cannot say enough . . .

Wow. That is so nice of you to say. Although Hank must confess that he sticks to just dialog mostly because of how lazy he is. He never did do too well in english class in high school and while it's easy for him to write down what he and Ed say to each other, it's real hard for him to try and describe anything... (not to mention all that 'he said/grinned/sighed/laughed'stuff that Hank never got the hang of either...)
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2008-03-14 11:50 pm (UTC)

Off to read!!!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 05:03 pm (UTC)
Love the picture of the puppies! Are they yours? Makes me want to run out and get two more dogs.

(Don't worry, Edthedog... I won't...)
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2008-03-31 05:18 pm (UTC)
Hiya, 'Blue!!

I have one Husky ( check my userpics for one of Beast in shades) and a Shepherd/Collie.

Someone sent the picture of the puppies when I was in a "Bite Me!" mood.. I loved them!

How are ya?? 'N the boys?
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 06:58 pm (UTC)
Hey there,

LOL That picture is perfect for a "Bite Me!" mood.
Tried to find your userpic of Beast in shades, but I'm an idiot and couldn't.

Everyone's good here, although Hank did come down with the flu or something right after they got back, but least-wise it was AFTER their camping trip and he's feeling much better now. It was real nice to get away for a while. (Of course Hank will probably write about it, even though not all that much happened, but that's never stopped him before.)

How is everything with you and yours? Hope y'all are well.


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[User Picture]From: trekfan
2008-03-15 03:30 am (UTC)
oooo Hank better hurry up or Ed is gonna strip for Bill :D I loved the photos and now the dogs are in on the act too huh?

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 06:18 pm (UTC)
LOL! Hank made it in time so Ed didn't strip for or leave with Bill. Of course Hank knew Ed wouldn't really do either so he had the advantage that way. And the dogs definitely enjoyed the trip (most of it anyways...)
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From: mazaher
2008-03-15 07:36 pm (UTC)
Hooray, on the road with the dogs!
They'll love it and it will put them once and for all past their fears.
The song is lovely, Hank seems to have a limitless reserve of them.
And the plotting cows remember me of a parking place near a church in Scotland, where a notice suggested: "Fold in radio aerials, the cows eat them". (Another notice read: "Please shut door or sheep come in". Mighty pious sheep over there. Cows were too big to fit through, whatever their level of devotion).
Waiting for further updates, Thank You
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 06:30 pm (UTC)
Hey there,
LOL! Love the notice near the church about the cows eating the radio aerials. I bet they were acting out because they were jealous of the pious sheep being able to fit through the door.

And, yep, The dogs sure did enjoy the trip. (Most of it anyways.) Hank's hoping to post an update about it later this week. Glad you liked the song too... Thanks to YouTube Hank can pull up some of the old songs he remembers listening to on the radio while waiting on Ed. (And he spent a helluva long time waiting on Ed.)
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[User Picture]From: joetheone
2008-03-19 03:54 am (UTC)

Road Tripping

Yes, getting too upset over all the news we hear and all the sadness in the world and all can get real frustrating and I'm not saying that we should not keep up the fight and push for our rights and our ideals but sometimes we just have to accept a little and remember the good things in life like having our men or are women or whoever is special in your life and enjoy some time with them. Even though in the current area we cannot do openly without fear since we are gay men but well that is an issue for us to continue to deal with. Go relax do a few strip teases and post on lifeout so Joe can watch since in my ripe old age I have become addicted to porn never thought I would since I never watched any porn my entire life since when I was 19 and did two pornos to make money for college and hated it and realized how fake it was but well i guess at 43 it is sort of fun sometimes. Anyhow one thing on that lifeout place you might like is under HIgh scores in videos these young men of 16 who are gay did a video about the discrimination they have suffered and guess where it is about 40 miles from my home and it made me sad but one of the best videos to see on this issue too bad it is on a porn site but well n ot all porn there are other videos that are like this and it opens our minds up. Ok I'm rambling on and on go enjoy your trip and keep us informed. Joe
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-03-31 06:47 pm (UTC)

Re: Road Tripping

Thanks Joe, although Hank's gotta admit that he sure has a real hard time accepting a whole lotta things, he does try to "remember the good things in life like having our men or our women or whoever is special in your life and enjoy some time with them." Very wise words from you as always. Thanks for the video suggestion. Hank hasn't had a chance to look for it yet, but he plans too.
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