Log in

No account? Create an account
Ed and Hank - Road Trippin' (21 part 4) Part 4 of On the road… - myeyesaintblue [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[May. 12th, 2008|02:01 pm]
[music |And I'm just the devil with love to spare...]

Ed and Hank - Road Trippin' (21 part 4)

Part 4 of On the road again...

Goin' to the chapel of love...

Note: Last time, Ed and Hank were in Sequoia Natl Park, this part picks up on their drive home. Length: It was a long drive home... Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Hank belongs to Ed. Apparently Ed has his eye on the fourth fella from the right. Rating: G $$: Nope. Comments: Always appreciated.

Part 1: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/44157.html
Part 2: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/44715.html
Part 3: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/45207.html

Everything else is here:


Goin' to the chapel of love...
(yeah, yeah... yeah, yeah, yeah...)

"C'mon, Ed... let's go take a quick look..."

"No way, Hank... Ya know that ain't my kinda thing..."

A few minutes later...
"Shit... Lookit this traffic...
How the hell do ya always get me ta do this stuff, Hank....?"

"'S a mystery ta me, Ed... In fact...
'I'll tell ya what I believe... It's a miracle... A true blue spectacle...
A miracle come true'..."

"Great. Now yer gonna sing too...
Tell ya what I believe, dumbass... I believe if'n you get them dogs ta howlin'
'm gonna turn this truck around..."

"Good luck with tha'...
'N the name ain't dumbass, dumbass... It's Mr. Manilow...
'N baby I'll be dancin' in the streets... Gonna be dancin' in the stree-eets...
whoa, whoa... dancin' in the stree-eets..."

"'N even if'n yer doin' a slow dance... Mr. Manilow...
you'll prob'bly be movin' a helluva lot faster than we are..."

"Dancin', dancin', dancin', dancin', dancin' in the stree-eets..."

"Still don't get how the hell
ya know all them dumbass songs anyway..."

"Only told ya 'bout a thousand times before...
Waitin' on you all them years ta move yer colossal dumb ass ta the ranch
my choices were purty much listenin' to the radio...
watchin' TV... or drinkin'..."

"Think maybe you shoulda spent more time drinkin'.
Or bowlin'... ya coulda gone bowlin'..."

"Dancin', dancin', dancin' in the stree-eets..."

(btw, if you don't know the song Hank is irritatin' Ed with, it's here:

"Jeez, Hank...  Lookit all this... Tha' jus' don't make a no kinda sense...
Drivin' all them billboards around... Shit..."

"Think I'm suddenly gettin' the urge ta go ta Hooters..."

"Hooters, huh...?
Guess tha'd be another one a them miracles..."

"Wait a minute... Ferget Hooters...
I think I'm cured..."

"'S yet another miracle, huh...?"

"Nope. Another billboard..."


"Tha' show looks purty interestin'...
Prob'bly real inpirin' too... 'n I bet it ain't too 'xpensive neither...
Seein' as they don't gotta spend a whole lotta money
on fancy costumes or nothin'..."

"No way am I goin' ta that, Hank...
'n we ain't stoppin' nowheres else neither...
Ya know I wanna get home ta day..."

"I was just sayin'..."

"Ferget it..."

A minute later...

"Ed... Ed... Ed..."


"Traffic's movin'...  so's ya migh' wanna
try 'n drag yer eyes off a tha' fourth fella from the right
'n move this here truck along..."

"I weren't..."

"Tha's an awful guilty shade a red yer turnin'
fer someone tha' weren't..."


"Think maybe I was right about them still waters 'n all...
You considerin' runnin' amok...?"

"I weren't..."

"'S okay, dumbass...
It ain't against no law ta look... not yet anyways...
'Course 'm still gonna hafta hunt tha' fella down 'n kill him...
Too bad about tha'..."

"Well, lucky fer him I still ain't stoppin'..."

"We can't stop nowheres anyways...
'cause it's way too warm ta leave the dogs in the truck."

"Woof." "Woof."

"Don't worry fellas...
I won't let Ed leave ya swelterin' in the truck
while he runs amok with bachelor number 4th from the right ..."

"Woof." "Woof."

"Okay... maybe I was lookin'...
But... I weren't lookin' at no one in particular...
I was jus' lookin'... in gen'ral..."

"So's ya weren't lookin' at tha' fella who looks
just a l'il bit like tha' Jake fella...?"

"Cain't say as I noticed."

"Ya know I know ya got a thing fer him..."

"I do not got a thing fer him... 'Sides...
tha' fella fourth from the right don't look nothin' like him..."

"Guess you'd be the expert...
'N don't worry... I won't go blabbin' ta Clint 'bout it...
Yer secret's safe with me..."

"'N ya know damn well the only thing I got fer anyone's
reserved jus' fer you..."

"Then ya won't mind if'n I put a sign on it ta that effect..."

"Ya do realize yer the one tha' started all this...?
Pointin' out tha' billboard 'n all..."

"Coulda sworn tha' was you..."

"'N speakin' a lookin'...
Are ya lookin' at all this stuff real good, Hank...?"


"Yep... I'm lookin' real good...
'N takin' some pictures too..."


"Good. Cause I figure... seein' all this...
you can cross a whole buncha stuff off a tha' list a places ya wanna go...
them Pyramids... 'n New York... 'n Paris...
'n Rome... 'n Venice..."

"It ain't 'xactly the same, dumbass... 'Sides...
even if'n it were the same... which it sure as hell ain't...
tha'd hardly make no kinda dent in the big ol' list I got goin'..."


"Hey... Lookit that, Ed...
Guess there just ain't no gettin' way from the real world...
No matter how hard I try..."

"There's protestin' even in Las Vegas, huh...?
Maybe there is some hope fer this here country yet..."

"Looks like they got some extra signs...
Maybe they got one tha' says 'Impeach Them Colossal Dumbasses'...
C'mon, let's park this here truck 'n join 'em fer a l'il while..."

"Ya jus' got through sayin' it's way too warm
ta leave the dogs in the truck...
'N it is way too warm..."

"But otherwise I s'pose you'd be more'n happy ta grab a big ol' sign
'n march 'round chantin' 'n yellin...?"

"Don't know 'bout the chantin' 'n yellin...
but I migh' jus' be angry 'nough ta grab myself a sign
'n walk 'round with it fer a l'il while..."

"Well then why don't we jus' park this here truck
'n bring them dogs along with us...?"

"Ain't bringin' 'em around so's many folks like tha'...
Even drivin' down this here street's been makin' 'em kinda nervous..."

"'True 'nough... Too bad though..."

"I wonder why they're protestin' outside tha' Venetian casino...?
Seems kinda odd-like ta me..."

"Maybe it's because
it ain't made no diff'rence tryin' ta protest ta our own gov'rment...
so's they're appealin' ta other countries ta somehow stop these maniacs fer us...
So's maybe Italy'll invade next week 'n save us from
our own dumbass evil dictator..."

"Wouldn' hold yer breath, Hank...
Ain't no cavalry gonna come gallopin' in
ta save us from ourselves..."

"Yeah... Too bad them other dumbasses that are s'posed ta be our cavalry
jus' keep ridin' 'round in circles 'n shootin' at each other..."

"So's... It looks like we're way past the main part a tha' Strip...
How 'bout I turn left at the next light 'n we
head back ta the interstate...?"

"No way, Ed... Let's go a l'il further 'fore we turn around..."

"'Xactly how much further...?
I don't wanna go all the way downtown..."

"It ain't tha' far."

"It ain't tha' near neither.
I know damn well tha' sign is a ways from downtown...
Don't know why they put it so's far out..."

"Prob'bly so's folks would think they're somewheres
even if'n they ain't."

"Well I ain't goin' no further than downtown."

"Hey... looks like they still got
 a buncha them weddin' chapels along this part a the strip...
How 'bout we take a look 'n pick out where we wanna tie the knot legal-like...?
That is if'n this here 'land a the not so free as we used ta be'
 ever decides tha' we deserve the same rights
 as everybody else's got..."

"Wouldn' hold yer breath 'bout tha' neither, Hank..."

"Hey... How 'bout tha' place...? It'd prob'bly be fun...
Says so right on the sign..."

"No thanks."

"Or that one...?
After we get hitched we could get a room...
'n watch some free movies... bet they got some real inspirin' ones..."

"Rooms from $33.00...?
I dunno, Hank... Tha' seems a l'il steep..."

"Tha' price prob'bly includes bedbugs at no extra charge."

"Tha's all we need...
I already got you buggin' me in bed plenty..."

"I think the word yer lookin' fer is..."

"I know what the word is, dumbass..."

"Ya sure...?
I'd be happy ta demonstrate later on...
jus' ta make sure we're thinkin' the same thing 'n all..."

"Well... maybe jus' ta make sure we're thinkin' the same thing..."

"So's... How 'bout this place...? Or tha' one...?"

"No thanks."

"Or this one maybe...?"

"Ferget it."

"Or we could get hitched by one a them Elvis impersonators...
like we talked 'bout a while back... Seem ta recall you preferrin' the young Elvis...
Hey... 'N maybe the both of us could dress up like Elvis too...
How 'bout I wear tha' black leather jacket 'n pants
'n you wear a sequined jumpsuit...?"


"No...? Then how 'bout this one...?
We'll prob'bly be a whole lot older by the time we can do it legal-like...
so's maybe this one would be best... we wouldn' hafta walk down no aisle or nothin'...
wouldn' even hafta haul our tired ol' asses outta the truck...
'n Edthedog 'n Hankthedog could be our best men..."

"Least-wise maybe we could get a couple a burgers
'n some fries at the same time..."

"'N it's got one a them psychics next door... tha' way we can go there first...
ask tha' psychic if'n we're gonna live happily ever after..."

"Thought you were psychic, dumbass."

"I ain't psychic...
I just get gut feelin's ev'ry now 'n again...
'n none too often at tha'..."

"Wha's yer gut tellin' ya now...?"

"Tha' you ain't gonna like tha' place there neither..."

"That one migh' be okay...  'Cause if'n tha' psychic's wrong
'n we decide right afterwards tha' maybe we rushed inta somethin'
we can head next door ta tha' lawyer's office
'n get us a divorce..."

"Guess we could be
rushin' inta somethin' 'n makin' a big' ol' mistake...
After all... we've only known each other
fer forty-some years..."

"Think tha'd be forty-odd years..."

"True 'nough..."

"'N ya know wha' they say...
'bout folks not revealin' their true selves 'til after they're hitched...
so's I figure you jus' migh' get even more annoyin'...
'Course... I doubt tha'd actually
be poss'ble..."

"Thanks a lot."

"But... I gotta tell ya, Hank...
 I wouldn' really wanna do it no place like these places..."

"'S okay by me... But jus' goin' to some office or somethin'.... tha' don't seem right neither..."

"I dunno, Hank... Maybe... if'n we ever could... make it legal-like... maybe we could jus' do it somewheres on the ranch... maybe go ta our spot... 'mongst all them cairns... Or maybe just in the house or in the yard... if'n we wanna keep tha' spot to ourselves 'n all... 'n maybe it could jus' be in fron' a Iris... 'n Bill 'n Betty... 'n Betty's mom... 'n Ruth... 'n maybe Ruth's two kids 'n their kids... if'n they'd wanna come... know Ruth would... ain't sure 'bout her kids 'n their families... but I figure we couldn' not ask 'em if'n we were askin' Ruth... 'n I'd wanna ask Ruth... Maybe we could leave invitin' them or not up ta her... Ain't real sure 'bout askin' Nora neither... we get along well 'nough... 'n I know Iris would like her ta be there... jus' don't know if'n tha'd be too odd-like fer me... fer us... ta have Nora there... 'n odd-like fer her too..."


"'N then after... I thought maybe we could just have kinda a picnic or somethin'... if'n it were a nice day... jus' keep it real simple... 'n maybe fer dessert have a few pies instead a a cake... 'Course a cake would be alrigh' too if'n ya'd wanna have a cake... in addition ta them pies that is... not instead of 'em... 'N no shovin' cake or pie in each other's faces... tha's jus' stupid... 'N there ain't no way I'm gettin' dressed up... 'm gonna wear jeans... blue ones not black ones... 'n a real plain shirt... 'n no goddamn tie neither... well... maybe one a them bola ties... but only if'n ya make me... 'n nothin' gaudy..."

"Jeez, Ed..."

"'Spose you got somethin' a whole lot grander in mind...?"

"No... You... It sounds like you... like you been thinkin' on this... fer a while..."

"I dunno... Maybe justa l'il..."

"I never woulda thought... It never even woulda occurred ta me... Tha'd ya'd want all tha'... other folks there 'n a kinda a party 'n all..."

"I don't want no party... justa picnic or somethin'... 'n it jus' seems like havin' them few folks around would be okay..."

"Sounds real good, Ed... Sounds perfect as a matter a fact... But..."

"But wha'...?"

"But... Ya know... like ya said before 'bout me not holdin' m' breath... the state we live in would be 'bout the last state tha'd ever make it legal fer us ta get hitched... 'n I know things are really startin' ta change some up north, but... 'n I sure hate ta say this... I still don't know if'n it'll happen in our lifetime..."

"I know, Hank."

"So's... maybe we shouldn' wait fer tha' ta happen... I know we already 'xchanged rings 'n all... but... maybe... we could just have all them folks over anyways... 'n say if'n we could we would 'n as far as we're concerned we already are... in fron' a them 'n all..."

"Shit. I dunno, Hank... Think most of 'em already know if'n we could we would."

"Yeah, but..."

"'N I don't think I wanna go through all that if'n it ain't gonna be fer nothin'... 'N then if'n they do ever make it legal-like we'd jus' hafta do it all again... Shit..."

"Wouldn' be fer nothin'... Lots a folks have them 'we would if'n we could but we cain't so's we're doin' this instead' kinda things... But... if'n ya don't wanna do tha' we don't gotta... 'Course... we could just have folks over fer the hell of it... We ain't seen Ruth in a while... 'n I know Iris would really like gettin' ta gether with her aunt 'n her cousins..."

"Shit... I dunno, Hank..."

"Well... Jus' think on it..."

"Okay... But I ain't promisin' nothin'..."

"Tha's all 'm askin'... 'Xcept..."


"Nora...? Do we really gotta invite Nora...?"

"Prob'bly... But I'll think on tha' too..."

"Okay... 'N Ed...?"


"I wouldn' never make ya wear no tie... well... least-wise not around yer neck anyways... migh' tie one 'round each a yer wrists 'fore I commence ta..."

"Buggin' me...?"

"Close enough. C'mon, Ed... Let's head home... Turn left here... think we can get ta the interstate from this here street..."

"You feelin' okay...?"

"Yeah... 'M feelin' jus' fine. Better 'n fine even."

"Thought fer sure you'd be pesterin' me ta stay fer a while longer... so's you could see ev'rythin' all lit up at night... 'n find a bar 'n have a drink... maybe gamble some of our hard-earned money away..."

"Nah... even once it cools off... I still wouldn' feel righ' leavin' them dogs alone in the truck in one a them big ol' parkin' garages... or on the street fer tha' matter... 'Sides... I jus' wanna get you home 'n get you in our big ol' bed 'n have my way with ya..."

"Ya do always get yer way..."

"Yeah... I do, don't I...? Most a the time anyways... Hey... why didn' ya turn there...?"

"'Cause I know ya'd still like ta go downtown... whether yer sayin' so or not... 'n we're almos' there anyways... 'n it won't take tha' long... then we'll be on our way... 'n you'll still have plenty a time ta have yer way with me later on..."

"Thanks, Ed..."

"Yer welcome."

"Hey... Lookit tha'... I read 'bout that a while back...
They been fixin' up some a them old signs
'n puttin' 'em up around here..."

"I like that old stuff..."

"Yeah. Me too... I'd really like ta come back withou' the dogs sometime 'n find 'em all...
'N I'd like ta see them signs that aint been fixed up too...if'n they let ya...
I think they used ta... but I ain't sure if'n they still do..."

"I wouldn' mind tha' neither..."

"Ya wouldn'...?"


"Tha's good ta know... Hey... Pull over here, Ed...
I wanna get out 'n take a picture..."

"Don't wander off 'n leave me here waitin' ferever..."

"Jus' be a minute..."

A few minutes later...

"Wha' were you 'n tha' fella talkin' about...?"

"Nothin' much... He's hungry...
so's 'm gonna give him a couple a sandwiches 'n whatnot...
He said he likes cheese with mustard..."

"He looks kinda crazy..."

"Yeah... He's real crazy...
But bein' crazy don't mean ya don't get hungry."

"'True 'nough.
He looks a l'il drunk too maybe..."

"Ya want me ta give him a lecture on the importance
a stayin' clean 'n sober before I give him
these here sandwiches...?"

"Didn' mean it tha' way, dumbass..."

"I know ya didn', Ed...
'S jus' that all this country seems ta do
fer them folks who are too crazy ta take care a themselves
is turn them out onta the streets 'n say good luck
takin' care a yer selves..."

"Yeah... It ain't good."

"Oh 'n by the by 'n by the way...
you'd be doin' us a big ol' favor if'n you could
tone down the craziness a l'il 'n jus' say 'no' ta booze 'n drugs
while yer livin' it up 'n tha' big ol' carboard box
ya call home sweet home..."

"Guess there's some awful big cracks all these
folks are fallin' through..."

"Yeah... 'n I'm afraid them cracks
are jus' gonna keep gettin' bigger..."

"'Fraid they are too..."

"I'll be righ' back..."

A minute later...

"Wha' was goin' on...?
He seemed kinda upset with ya..."

"He were upset because
we didn' have no pickles ta give him..."

"'Cause we didn't have no pickles...?"

"He's crazy, Ed... 'N he must love pickles...
Least-wise he still took the sandwiches 'n all...

"Guess maybe he ain't had no pickles
in a real long time..."

"Maybe not...
Wish we woulda had some..."

"Yeah... me too..."

"Boy... There ain't near as many folks
hangin' 'round downtown..."

There sure ain't."

"It's prob'bly better lookin' at night."

"Think tha's a purty safe bet, Hank..."

"Guess they're s'posed ta have some kinda light show...
up on tha' white roof-thing..."

"I'll take yer word fer it."

"'N maybe it helps if'n yer drinkin'...
Prob'bly makes it seem less like a shoppin' mall
'n more excitin' 'n all..."

"I wouldn' bet on it."

"Well, I think we seen 'bout as much as we can
withou' parkin' the damn truck..."

"Guess them dogs are crampin' yer style, huh...?"

"Nah... Well... maybe a l'il...
But I'm jus' glad they're willin' ta come along with us now."

"Woof." "Woof."

"So's...  I guess I should jus' point this truck
towards home...?"

"Yeah... Home sounds real good ta me."

About an hour later...

"Hey, Lookit tha'..."

"Ain't never seen folks bring their church along with 'em campin' before..."

"That ain't campin'."

"I mean camp-lottin'."

"What the hell d'ya s'pose a Mormon church is doin' out in the middle a nowhere like tha'...? They're usually in the middle a neighborhoods... Hope tha' don't mean a buncha houses are gonna be springin' up 'round there... Shit..."

"Maybe they got wheels on tha' church... so's they can haul their god 'round with 'em wherever they go..."

"Wouldn' be surprised..."

"But... Did I tell ya...? 'Fore we left... I read tha' tha' Mormon god don't hate gays no more..."

"He don't...?"

"Nope. He changed his mind... last fall it was... don't know how I missed it... 'n so's all them Mormons don't hate gays no more neither..."

"Yer pullin' my leg... righ'...?"


"Ya'd think some a them townsfolk woulda dropped off a fruit basket... or some cookies or somethin'... with a nice note sayin' we don't hate ya'll no more..."

"Well... there is one l'il catch..."

"A lil catch, huh...?"

"Yep. It's okay ta be gay... It just ain't okay fer gay folks ta have gay sex with each other..."


"They're sayin' it ain't no diff'rent than straight folks havin' sex outside a bein' bound ta gether in holy matrimony... It ain't right neither way."

"So's... does tha' mean they're gonna let gay folks get hitched...?"

"Nope. 'S okay ta be gay. But if'n ya are gay ya still cain't get married. Least-wise not ta another gay person. Tha'd jus' be wrong. 'Course they still don't got no problem with gay folks marryin' straight folks... seems ta be encouraged even..."

"But I thought ya said they said bein' gay ain't wrong...?"

"It ain't wrong. But apparently it still ain't right neither."

"So's... lemme get this straight... no pun intended... 'S okay ta be gay. It just ain't okay ta be gay."

"'I think yer beginnin' ta see the light."

"Think tha' light's givin' me a big ol' headache..."

"It ain't all tha' complicated... Near as I can figure... they still hate wha' gay folks do... ya know... wha' with all the kissin' 'n sex-havin' 'n fallin' in love with someone 'n wantin' ta share yer life with 'em 'n whatnot... Makes 'em a l'il queasy I guess... But so's long as gay folks don't do nothin' stomach-turnin' like any a tha'... it's okay with them Mormons if'n folks are gay..."

"Well... in tha' case I'm afraid they still ain't gonna like us too much... Jus' don't think I could give up all the whatnot..."

"Yeah... Me neither... Too bad though... we prob'bly coulda made us a buncha new gay-lovin' friends if'n we could jus' stop bein' so gay 'n all..."

"Well...ya know wha' they say... with friends like tha'... ya don't really need a whole lotta enemies..."

A ways further down the road...

"Get off here, Ed... 'S my turn ta drive..."

"I'll pull off at the next exit..."

"'S way too far ta the next exit...
C'mon... Take this one..."

"Ain't nothin' at this one...
Jus' leads ta some dirt roads tha' lead
ta the middle a nowhere..."

"Why the hell would tha' matter...? We're just switchin' drivers...
'n I think them dogs gotta stop too..."

"Woof." "Woof."

"Fine. I'll take this one."

"Damn, Ed... Lookit them fellas...
Does tha' remind ya of anythin'...?"

"Yeah... Sure does...
How many times you figure we said good-bye
ta each other like tha'...?"

"A helluva lot... Tha's fer damn sure."

A few minutes later...

"Wha' took ya so long, Ed...?"

"Weren't me... 'S Hankthedog...
He's gotta sniff ev'ery rock 'n a quarter mile circle
'fore he can decide which one is most deservin' a bein pissed on..."

"Wouldn' wanna piss on the wrong rock... Wouldya boy...?
No tellin' wha' migh' happen..."


"Them fellas are still there, huh...?"


"Do ya think they're...?"

"In love...? I dunno, Ed... But... if'n I had ta bet...
from all the time they're takin'... 'n the way they been standin' there...
'n the way they been lookin' at each other...
I'd be bettin' they are..."

"Think maybe yer right... So's...
D'ya think we were as bad as hidin' it as they are...?"

"I dunno... Prob'bly...
if'n anyone were lookin' real close..."

"It don't feel right somehow... sittin' here 'n watchin' 'em..."

"It sure don't...
So's how 'bout we get goin'...?"

"Yeah... But first..."

A minute later...

"Damn, Ed... Cain't hardly believe ya did tha'... right in fron' a them fellas 'n all..."

"They ain't noticin' nothin' but each other... 'N there ain't no one else around... 'n I figured... maybe..."

"Maybe wha'...?"

"Nevermind... it's jus' stupid..."

"Ya cain't tell me tha' 'n then not tell me no more..."

"I jus' figured... I dunno... I jus' thought... Maybe we could do what they're prob'bly wantin' ta do... 'n wha' we wanted ta do all them times we said good-bye... but didn't do... or couldn' do..."

"So's... tha' kiss... it was kinda like a good-bye kiss... fer them two fellas...?"

"Somethin' like tha'... Told ya it was stupid..."

"It ain't stupid, Ed..."

"Well, this whole damn country sure is stupid... Least-wise big parts of it are..."

"Ya got tha' right..."

"Sure wish it were diff'rent..."

"I do too, Ed... 'N things are changin'... 'n have changed... a whole lotta places... But... I think the only way anythin's ever gonna change 'round these parts is if'n folks like them two fellas over there... 'n I think maybe there's a whole lot more of 'em than we'd guess... decide ta change things fer themselves.... 'n live their lives like they wanna... like you fin'lly did... like we fin'lly did... like so many folks have done in other places..."

"'S a lot easier said than done, Hank..."

"I know tha'... But... them places where it did change... It didn' happen withou' no one makin' it happen... a whole lotta gay folks worked real hard ta change things... sometimes jus' by bein' who they were 'n livin' how they wanted ta live... 'n sometimes by fightin' ta get stupid laws changed... 'n sometimes by gettin' out in the streets 'n havin' parades 'n showin' each other 'n other folks tha' they were there 'n they weren't about ta go away... Hell... I think maybe we should try ta get ta one a them parades this year... Think maybe it's about way past time... 'n I bet it'd be a whole lotta fun too..."

"But... ain't them parades jus' fer other gay folks... ya know... them fellas who're more... outgoin'... 'n fer them... uh... fancier... fellas... not fer folks like us..."

"Them parades are fer ev'rybody, Ed...  'n I said it before 'n I'll say it again... we both know all gay folks ain't alike no more than all straight folks are alike... Hell... there's even out-a-the-closet gay Republicans 'n gay Mormons... but I'd bet the ranch that all of us... includin' them gay Mormons 'n gay Republicans... whether they're willin' ta admit it or not... want the same things... ta be able ta be who we are 'n love who we wanna love 'n have the same rights everybody else has got... 'N them 'more outgoin' fellas... 'n them 'fancier' fellas you were referrin' to... they're the ones who've been on the front lines... fightin' fer us all... 'n they may be the most outspoken... 'n the most visible... but it ain't a fight any of us should be ignorin'... 'cause a whole lotta gay folks have gotten hurt... or killed themselves... or got killed... jus' because of who they were... 'n sometimes they still do... like tha' kid in Oxnard jus' this past February... his name was Lawrence King... 'n Matthew Shepard... 'n Stuart Mathis... 'n a whole lotta other folks whose names we don't know..."

"Okay... Okay... I'm willin' ta go ta whatever parade ya wanna drag me to... Now, c'mon, Hank... how 'bout ya get down off a tha' soap box... 'fore ya fall off 'n hurt yer self..."

"'Ya would...? You'd go ta one a them gay pride parades with me...?"

"Shit... I dunno... If'n you really wanna go... I guess it wouldn' kill me ta tag along... But if'n it does it'll be yer fault..."

"Thanks, Ed. I'll find out where the nearest one's gonna be..."

"'N jus' so's were clear... 'm jus' gonna be watchin' it... ya ain't gonna drag me inta it."

"'S okay by me, Ed... I'm jus' glad yer willin' ta go..."

"I gotta admit... I always was kinda jealous a them more outgoin' gay folks... I guess kinda like I was jealous a them hippies... they jus' seem ta... ta have places they can be... ya know... with other folks who are like 'em... 'n understand 'em... 'N me... well... I dunno... I guess... I guess I jus' didn' never feel like I belonged nowheres... No way I coulda moved ta no city... 'n the only place I ever felt like I could jus' be m'self... 'n let my guard down... was when I was with you... campin' way up on top a some lonely mountain... 'n then later on... in our house... 'n on the ranch... once it were ours... 'n maybe with Bill some... once I got ta know him better anyways... 'N Betty now too I guess... kinda anyways..."

"Ya may not believe it, Ed... but... easy as I find it ta talk ta other folks... I've felt like tha' too sometimes... 'n it's always made me real thankful tha' we found each other..."

"Me too, Hank... 'N... ya know... it does seem like maybe travelin's helped some... I don't 'xactly know why or how... but I don't feel quite so's outta place in the world as I used ta..."

"I'm real glad ta hear that, Ed..."

"Shit. I shouldna said tha'... I don't wantcha gettin' no big ideas 'bout draggin' me half way 'round the world or somethin'..."

"I promise not ta book no tickets half-way 'round the world withou' consultin' ya..."


"Yer welcome."

"N that ain't ta say that I don't still feel on edge some a the time... 'specially when we go ta town... but I guess that ain't likely ta change anytime soon..."

"'Fraid there's always gonna be some folks around who don't like us jus' 'cause of who we are... 'n there's definitely plenty of 'em in town... 'Course... I don't much care fer them neither... or their god... But I wouldn' make fun of 'em if'n they didn't hate on folks while pretendin' they don't..."

"You real sure about tha', Hank...?"

"Well... Even if'n they were ta stop hatin' us they'd prob'bly still be wearin' tha' secret underwear...'n tha's awful hard not ta make fun of... But I swear I'd do my level best ta stop..."

"Yeah, I jus' bet you would..."

"'N baptizin' the dead... they'd prob'bly still be goin' around baptizin' 'n convertin' all them dead folks... 'n I gotta admit... it'd be real hard ta stop pokin' fun at tha'... Ticks off all a them other religions ta no end... Think some a their gods have even filed formal complaints orderin' tha' Mormon god ta cease 'n desist..."

"Shit... wakin' up Mormon in the great hereafter... Tha'd be one helluva rude surprise..."

"Sure would be..."

"No way am I wearin' no secret underwear."

"Don't worry, Ed... they'd prob'bly be excommunicatin' us shortly after convertin' us... so's I doubt they'd even get around ta issuin' you a pair..."

"True 'nough."

"So's... Dontcha think it's 'bout time we give them fellas sayin' good-bye some time alone..?"

"Yeah... but... How 'bout we give 'em one more fer the road...?"

"One more fer the road, huh...? Guess I'd be willin' ta do tha'..."

"C'mere, Ed... Let's say good-bye fer 'em real proper-like..."

Back on the road again...

"Get yer hands off the radio, Ed...
I wanna listen ta that oldies station..."

"Well I wanna listen ta country music."

"No way... I'm tired a country music 'n I'm tired of all our cds...
'Sides... Yer the one who made up the new rule tha' who'sever drivin'
gets ta choose the music... 'n I'm drivin' now..."

"I think we need ta revise them rules again..."

"Ya always think we need ta revise the rules
whenever you don't get yer way...
Now, turn it back."

"Fine. But I think the fella ridin' shot-gun
should get some kinda veto power when the other fella
is clearly outta his mind..."


"I ain't outta my mind...
lucky fer me I'm jus' crazy in love... 'cause
'ev'ry day with you Ed, is sweeter than the day before...
Everyday I love you more and more...
more and more and more'..."


"'They say that all good things must come to an end...
but Ed, it isn't true... each day with you
I fall in love again'..."

"Yer gonna set them dogs off..."

"'Ev'ry day with you Ed, is sweeter than the day before...
Everyday I love you more and more...
more and more and more..."

"Why the hell don't I ever remember
ta buy earplugs...?"

"'And when I go ta sleep at nigh'time
tomorrow's what I'm prayin' fer... 'Cause everyday with you, Ed...
is sweeter than the day before'..."

"You... prayin'...? That'll be the day..."

"How 'bout if'n I jus' change tha' line ta
'tomorrow's what I'm aimin' fer'..."

"You never were a very good shot...
maybe you should change tha' ta 'hopin' fer'..."

"Okay... 'And when I go ta sleep at nigh'time
tomorrow's what I'm hopin' fer'..."

"Me too, Hank..."

"'Cause ev'ery day with you, Ed...
is sweeter than the day... sweeter than the day...
sweeter than the day before'..."

"Love ya, dumbass..."

"Love you too, dumbass..."

"So's... now can we switch it back ta
tha' country station...?"



A while after that...

"Hey, look, Ed...
Least-wise we're at the tail-end a rush hour..."

"Traffic jus' gets worse ev'ry year..."

"Least-wise it won't be too long 'fore we're home..."

"Now tha's music ta my poor ol' ears."

"Go ahead and change the station, dumbass."

"Don't mind if'n I do."

"Ya know... I was thinkin'...
Maybe the next sign we put up fer the ranch
could be justa l'il more interestin'..."

"Don't think I'm gonna wanna know
whatcha got in mind."

"Prob'bly not."



javascript hit counter

[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-13 03:04 pm (UTC)


The photo of the Luxor hotel was lifted off the internet because Hank's pictures of it didn't turn out. All the other pictures were taken by Hank. Except the one of the deer... Ed took that one.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: argentine65
2008-05-13 04:39 pm (UTC)

Ed and Hank

Yes, my friends are back and whenever they have that picnic I will be there (if they invite me). This story gets better and better and the pics are great. I had been in Las Vegas in 1978 and I swore I did not recognize anything. Thank you to bring me back there. Wonderful¡¡ Martha
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 08:00 pm (UTC)

Re: Ed and Hank

Of course you're invited! In fact, everyone's invited (as long as Ed doesn't find out ahead of time... It'll have to be a surprise picnic for Ed :D ) Glad you enjoyed the story and the Vegas pictures. I bet if Hank can drag Ed back there next year without the dogs it'll be changed a good bit again.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: torry28
2008-05-13 06:49 pm (UTC)
The best melancholy being down in the dumps reliever, is reading about Ed and Hank and their love for each other.
Thank you for another wonderful part of their trip and showing us the real meaning of love and not the glossed over kind.
There is still a whole lot of hatred in this world all different kinds and it will take a lot of understanding, accepting and learning to change.
Thanks as always to you, Ed and Hank.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 08:45 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you're feeling down in the dumps, but I'm glad Ed and Hank help some and that you enjoyed this leg of the trip. Hope you're feeling better. And yeah, this world is awful hard to stand sometimes and pokin' some fun at folks helps Hank deal with it. (And Ed helps too, of course. :D)

::hugs back::
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: eandj
2008-05-13 07:36 pm (UTC)
I always have a smile on my face when I see your icon.
Yeah- another 'dumbass' conversation from Ed and Hank
thanks for sharing
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 08:48 pm (UTC)
Ed and Hank are real glad that their dumbass conversation made you smile. Thanks!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: tatia85
2008-05-13 10:11 pm (UTC)
ahahahah Ed&Hank are the best ever! SO happy to read such a long chapter... and their bitching is amazing. Those two are philosopher even if they don't know it... reading Hank explaining to Ed the Mormon's idea of homosexuality remind me of my days studing philosophy, Hank is a true Socrates XD paideia and everything. And Ed is the cutest. No doubt about it.
BTW, if Ed will go to a parade, I will pay good money for the photos. No kidding!

you are truly an amazing writer, thank you for this sips of fresh water!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 09:40 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm glad you liked the long chapter. Hank was worried it was longer than it should have been but he was too lazy to edit their day/conversations down to a more reasonable length. (Btw, I do have to admit that Ed just snorted when you called Hank a philosopher. :D)

If Hank can really get Ed to go to a parade you are welcome to any pictures Hank takes.

And if you ever want a copy of any other picture just let Hank know and he'll email you a higher resolution file. His email is myeyesaintblue@yahoo.com

I think you can just capture them online too, but Hank started posting them at low resolution a while back to try and save space, which he is rapidly running out of. :(
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: trekfan
2008-05-14 12:34 am (UTC)
AW they are just so sweet with each other. I have never been to Vegas. I don't know why they just didn't get hitched while they were there :D

They should have that picnic when they get back home. A committment ceremony or civil union or whatever Ed and Hank want to call it

more please
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 09:44 pm (UTC)
Hank's not sure if he'll be able to get Ed to agree to anything ceremony-like unless they can make it legal-like... But he'll work on trying to get Ed to agree to just having some folks over for a picnic. Or Hank'll just invite folks over and then tell Ed they're having a picnic. That might work better. :D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: trekfan
2008-05-14 09:57 pm (UTC)
yeah don't tell Ed just invite the people over and have FOOD once Ed sees pies he won't mind the people being over. No one has to tell him it's a celebration of Ed and Hank's marriage

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 10:53 pm (UTC)
LOL! That's a great plan. Pies can smooth over anything with Ed. (And he'll probably eventually start talking to Hank again... maybe even within a week or two after the party... :D)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bbmgirlfan
2008-05-14 03:34 am (UTC)
"It ain't wrong. But apparently it still ain't right neither."

My favorite line from the chapter!

So ... you teased us with the "going to the chapel" thing. But I'll forgive you because you gave us Ed with a well-thought-out wedding plan.


(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 09:52 pm (UTC)
LOL! Sorry for the misleading title... I guess Hank should have called it "Going to the Chapels of love" instead. Although I guess technically they didn't actually "go" to any of them, they just drove by, so that would be misleading too... Glad Ed managed to save the day (or post) for you. :D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: joetheone
2008-05-14 04:13 am (UTC)

You guys are great!

Did you know I work with an agency that assist developmentally disabled adults and mental health patients and one of my jobs is going to homeless shelters and the streets themselves and trying to get those people tested and building a trust with them? Well, I do that daily and you are correct I would say 99 percent of the homeless I meet are disabled in some ways and unable to cope with life and the world around them. We are not always 100 percent successful and our job is difficult but I can say that in my 12 years of doing this that 18 of the people I work with are now home owners and not on the welfare system or SSI system and 63 more are in apartments or some sort of living situation with supports and well yes some do fall back and some do move on to other locations we do fairly well. YES in the last 8 years with DUMBASS in office our budgets have been cut every year and luckily I had a previous job and invested wisely and can use some of that money to help this job a little anyway yes I'm glad you gave him a sandwich and I can also tell you that yes most of the time these people are not very grateful for things and even after they finally get medication and a better life they do not know how to appreciate what was given to them or helped them but their are other rewards. YES I agree it is ok for us to be GAY and not be gay like the Mormons want us to be it is like the don't ask don't tell thing well we know that is all a little crazy. YES going to a gay pride march is an experience way back in the 80's I went to several and well it was not my scene at all. I am gay and I do not hide but I do not go walking around swishing it up and heck most people are shocked when they do find out. Then the last big march on Washington was well so different it was filled with a lot of gay families gay couples with children lesbians and gay men also 36 of my personal family members walked with me including my mother the church secretary from her small town methodist church and my father the devote catholic and all around man of sports and 9 of my Uncles and Aunts and cousins all walked with me and it was very special.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-14 10:50 pm (UTC)

Re: You guys are great!

I had forgotten that you work with developmentally disabled adults, but now I do remember you mentioning it before. I didn't know that you went to homeless shelters and the streets to try and build trust with them... And having helped so many people to get off the streets and into homes(!) and apartments - that's truly amazing. It must be very gratifying work, to know that you really do make a difference in people's lives. Of course I know how frustrating it must be at times too. And yeah, Hank didn't mind that that guy wasn't grateful, he was just glad that he took the food.

It must have been a truly incredible experience for you to attend that march in Washington with so many of your family by your side.

Hank would really like to get Ed to a gay pride parade. The Gay Pride Parade in Las Vegas was May 2nd, but they couldn't make it back then. (They were in Las Vegas in March, Hank is just real slow catching up with the writing.) Hopefully there will be another one not too far away that Hank can get Ed (and himself) to. Hank has heard about the get together in Wyoming. They actually stayed at that campground (between Cheyenne and Laramie) on their way across the country last summer, but it wasn't at the right time for it.

You really have done so much to make a difference in this world in your life. And like you said, "each person that learns about me and accepts me is a step in the right direction." I think ultimately, that one person at a time approach changes more minds than parades or other demonstrations ever will. I remember a long time ago, (Hank will have been writing about himself and Ed for two years(!) come July something or other), you told me about a party you went to where there was a guy who was very anti-gay and by the end of the night you managed to change his mind just by being the person you are. That story always stuck with me.

Btw, glad you liked the songs. Hank loves all those old songs... the good ones and the bad ones... Ed not so much.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: joetheone
2008-05-15 03:03 am (UTC)

Re: You guys are great!

Sorry I typed so much last night. Yep, I still try and change the minds one at a time. It works for me most of the time. Yes, I'm sure sometimes once a person leaves me they may return to their previous thoughts. I want to come to Vegas but I'm afraid I would be suckered into gambling. I really enjoy the thrill of losing money. LOL well not really but the thrill of the casino and the noise I enjoy. They just opened up one of those racino things about 2 miles from our home. The only good thing about it was all the wildlife in the area moved to the woods behind my home and the deer have been eating up my gardens but at least they are fun to watch. It is sometimes rewarding the job but sometimes not. I try to look at each day as a challenge to try and do one good thing and pay it forward. I also try to not let the failure of this to get me down and just tell myself that well if I did not succeed today maybe tomorrow. I know this is way to optomistic but, I would rather believe this then to believe that the entire world is against me. But, yes I have my down days and that is when you will find me along the lake just sitting. I so love water and cannot imagine not living next to any kind of water. So that is my life. Joe
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-15 03:54 am (UTC)

Re: You guys are great!

I love reading what you write... Don't ever apologize for it. And I love how optimistic you are. I think your optimism has helped Hank to be more optimistic. Ed and Hank lived without water nearby for so long that they didn't even know what they were missing 'til they went to the ocean... It's so beautiful. At least they have their wide open spaces and an ocean of sky to compensate. I think you're wise to stay away from the racino... Ed can't stand to lose a nickel gambling and hates all the noise and the crowds of people. Hank's a little more willing to lose some money, and he loves the lights and the noise and all the people. (I'm more with Ed on this one... We'd both rather watch the deer eat your garden or take a nice walk by that great lake.) Say "hey" to Pat for us all and make him dance with you to one of those old songs.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: joetheone
2008-05-14 04:13 am (UTC)

Part two of my comment I guess it was toolong

The entire event was a good thing and even though their were a few small batches of protesters to the march including the KKK in their hoods at one point their was not problem and not fighting and it was just good. I felt a great weight off of my shoulder at this march mostly due to the fact it was not like the pride events or Wigstock which are fun in a way but too gay for my taste. I do not get off running around with my shirt off and these days it is not as pleasent as looking to see me without a shirt and I do not wear wild clothing and make up and I just do not get some of the new music although I do like the Shins and coldplay for new music groups. Anyway I do suggest if you have not done this then go for it. I know some writers were telling me that in Wyoming even though their is not much else for Gays they do have a little event in the summer at some campground I would love to go but have not yet made it. Oh well I'm rambling on and just you always get me thinking. From 1984 when I was 20 until 1993 I was fairly active in Hospice and working with Aids events and trying to do my part to make a difference then I lost my gusto and dropped out of everthing except the March on Washington and then after Brokeback I have started doing a little more to make a difference. Not sure I am but I figure each person that learns about me and accepts me is a step in the right direction. Just an example is I have my favorite Starbucks I go to daily and every night on the way home from work I get a Venti Decaf for my partner and the people who work at this Starbucks have sort of become friends or just nice people to talk too. They finally asked me who the Venti was for and I told them my partner Pat and they at first thought girlfriend then one day Pat was with me and all of their heads turned they could not believe that my venti decaf was a man. Well, now they all are like telling me stories of other gay people they know and even the regulars in the place come up and ask me questions it was the slow melding I was not a differnt person when they found out just a person that who happened to have a boyfriend. Anyway, this is sort of a scewed since a place like starbucks cateres to people who are usually educated and more urban in appeal. But, I do find that by just casually being yourself it helps and I'm one of those people that talks to evveryone and anyone. So if you leave me alone anywhere I usually end up talking to someone about something and that is it. Pat if you put him anywhere he would not talk to anyone so I guess that is odd also. Ok I"m done rambling Pat just said you have written more then the story since I did read to him and he is like OK Joe stop playing those YOUTUBE songs you are as bad as ED and Hank and I said oh well they are great guys. Joe
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lara_pinta
2008-05-27 10:58 am (UTC)
What a wonderful adventure you write - Ed and Hank are just so entertaining and I thank you for writing it.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2008-05-28 10:39 pm (UTC)
Glad you're enjoying Ed and Hank. Thanks for reading!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)