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Ed and Hank A short post and greetin's of the season from Ed and… - myeyesaintblue — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Dec. 21st, 2010|09:06 am]
Ed and Hank

A short post and greetin's of the season from Ed and Hank...

Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.

Links to all previous posts are here:

A short post and greetin's of the season from Ed and Hank...

"Why the hell are ya stoppin' here, Hank...?"

"Lookit tha'..."


"That same house... from a couple a years back... their light-up nativity... the baby Jesus is missin' from it..."

"Dammit. Ya don't s'pose them dumbass dogs of ours...?"

"I dunno... I thought we got Edthedog 'n Hankthedog ta give up their wanderin' ways... 'N Billthedog ain't ever wandered none... 'N when it happened before Edthedog 'n Hankthedog took them folks' light-up lamb... 'N tha' lamb Iris found 'em on eBay ta replace it is still there..."

"Didn't they have more than one lamb...?"

"I don't remember."

"Shit. Maybe them dogs each took somethin' this time... Damn... This is gonna cost us..."

"Well... Maybe that ain't what happened... So's let's not go jumpin' ta conclusions..."

"Where the hell else should we jump ta...?"

"Well... ya'd expect some mayhem if'n them dogs had been here... ya know... Joseph 'n Mary 'n them wise guys strewn ev'rywhere 'n tha' crib-like thing knocked over 'n whatnot..."

"Yeah... well... maybe stuff was knocked over 'n them folks set ev'rything back up."

"Too bad there ain't no snow on the ground... if'n there was we could least-wise see if'n there'd been a struggle."

"Ya know them dogs prob'bly did it."

"They're innocent 'til proved guilty, Ed... 'N besides... there's lotsa other reasons tha' baby Jesus migh' not be out there where he belongs..."

"Name one."

"I dunno... Maybe they're bein' sticklers fer the details this year 'n they ain't gonna put him out 'til Christmas mornin'..."

"Name one believable reason."

"You didn't say it had ta be believable."


"Or... it could be someone else made off with him... Bored kids maybe...."

"I doubt it... Not with the way a lotta folks 'round these parts are prone ta shootin' first 'n askin' questions later... 'Tis the season or not..."

"I dunno... This time a year... 'n keepin' with all tha' peace on earth 'n goodwill towards men... they migh' be more likely ta least-wise give ya a warnin'... 'Drop tha' light-up baby Jesus or I'll fill ya full a lead'..."


"Well... if'n it weren't kids... which it still mighta been... maybe some other dogs made off with him..."

"Or maybe Edthedog 'n Hankthedog made off with him."

"Could be."


a little later...


"Well... I looked as good as I could... with it bein' dark 'n all.. 'n I didn't see hide nor hair a no baby or no lamb or nothin' else like 'em nowheres around... 'N them dogs don't look no guiltier than usual..."

"That's a good sign."

"But I'll look around some more tomorrow mornin'... Hell... I still can't believe they managed ta carry tha' light-up lamb this far the last time they... Wha' the hell are ya doin', Hank...?"

"I'm usin' Hankthestatue 'n Edthestatue fer our season's greetin's this year."

"Them lights ain't gonna hurt 'em none... Are they...?"


"You sure...?"


"So's... where'd ya get tha' plastic holly 'n stuff...?"

"Don't you go worryin' yer cheap but real purty l'il head about it, Ed... I didn't spend no money on 'em... I dug 'em outta one a them ol' boxes a Christmas stuff in the basement...

"So's... does somethin' about 'em seem a l'il odd to ya, Hank...? Aside from the lights 'n the plastic stuff anyways..."

"No odder than usual."

"So's... nothin' jumps out at ya as not in keepin' with tha' peace on earth 'n goodwill towards men you were talkin' about before...?"

"I see watcha mean... Hold on a minute..."

"Where ya goin'...?"

"I'll be righ' back..."

A minute later...

"There... How's tha'...?"

"Where the hell didya get tha'...?"

"At the grocery store... I couldn't believe they had giant cowboy-sized candy canes fer yer cowboy-sized sweet tooth... I was gonna give it ta ya later on..."

"So's now I ain't gettin' it...?"

"You can have it after the holidays... 'N I gotta tell ya... I sure am lookin' forward ta watchin' ya eat it..."


"Now yer s'posed ta ask me wha' do you  get ta watch..."

"'N I betcha I know the answer ta tha'..."

"Yep. You get ta watch me eatin' mine."

"So's... how much were them candy canes...?"

"A million dollars. Each. So altogether tha' would be... two... miiiiiiiillion... dollars..."


"Well... I still got the receipt... D'ya want me ta take yers back...?"


"D'ya want me ta take mine back...?"


"I didn't think so. Now... I jus' gotta add the song ta this here greetin' 'n I'm done..."

"How 'bout a country song fer a change...?"


"My thoughts exactly... 'The snooow is faaallin'... it's Christmas eeeve... there's presents around... under the treee... Is there ooone fer meee'...?"

"Pro'bly a lump a coal."

"'I only want yooou fer Christmas, Ed... I don't need nothin' else... I only want yoooou fer Christmas, cowboy... Tie a ribbon around yerself... Ohhhh... Tie a ribbon around yerself'..."

"You really only want me fer Christmas, huh...?"


"Does tha' mean we don't gotta buy each other a shirt this year...?"

"No... It don't mean we don't gotta buy each other a shirt his year. We exchange them shirts on New Year's... not Christmas."

"Too bad."

"Ya don't like buyin' me one lousy shirt ev'ry year, huh...?"

"I like it fine. What I don't like is you buyin' me one helluva loud shirt most years."

"I only make ya wear it once out in public before I switch with ya."

"Ya don't make me do nothin'."

"True 'nough... You do that all on yer own... 'N don't think I don't appreciate it."

"Ya damn well better appreciate it."

"I damn well do."

"Too bad though..."


"If ya want me fer Christmas... then ya can't unwrap me 'til then... I think them are the rules..."

"I ain't ever been much fer followin' rules... So's I'm gonna unwrap ya early... 'n often... real often..."

"Glad ta hear it."

"In fact... I'm gettin' the urge ta unwrap ya righ' now..."

"Well... I gotta call them dogs 'n tha' cat in 'n lock-up 'n turn out the lights... But how 'bout I meet ya upstairs in five or ten minutes...?"

"It's a date... 'N I'll bring the ribbon."

"Lucky fer me we don't got no ribbon."

"I bet I can least-wise dig up a big ol' bow or somethin'..."


Greetin's of the season


from Ed and Hank!





[User Picture]From: hampshirerose
2010-12-21 06:44 pm (UTC)
Merry Christmas Hank and Ed!

Always a joy to hear from you.

Don't be strangers in the New Year!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 08:04 pm (UTC)
Merry Christmas to you and yours too!

(And thanks, we'll definitely try to be around in the New Year.)
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[User Picture]From: not_hathor
2010-12-21 08:03 pm (UTC)
Good to hear from you-all! Have a good Christmas and New Year's, Uncle Ed and Uncle Hank, and Cousin Blue.... and be sure to let us know if you ever figure out what happened to the neighbors' 'Baby Jesus'....

With lots of love and hugs,

Mary/Dances-with-Chow-and-a-Half (aka Bel & Jethro)
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 08:09 pm (UTC)
Ed and Hank didn't find any sign that the dogs were guilty, but Hank did end up stopping late yesterday afternoon and knocking on their door to ask about it. (Just in case they had missed the evidence some how.) The Baby Jesus had been taken, :=( , but they didn't think dogs did it either 'cause nothing had been disturbed. So we're hoping whoever took him (bored kids probably) reconsiders and returns him to his family.

Love and hugs and a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all too!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-30 04:39 pm (UTC)
Just thought I'd let you know we still don't know if that Baby Jesus was returned. Ed and Hank took off to go camping over Christmas and when they got back this week the light-up nativity had been put away.

Hmmm... the rest of their lights and decorations were still up, so I hope no one kidnapped the whole lot of them...

Hope you had a great Christmas!

Happy New Year to you and yours!
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[User Picture]From: eandj
2010-12-21 08:10 pm (UTC)
Edthedog and Hankthedog and altogether tha' would be... two... miiiiiiiillion... dollars... and 'I only want yooou fer Christmas, Ed... I don't need nothin' else-
this made me smiiiile
thank you and
Merry Christmas to all of you
take care

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 08:10 pm (UTC)
So glad they made you smile! And a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours too!
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[User Picture]From: lalaynia
2010-12-22 01:59 am (UTC)
Hey there, 'Blue!

It's awful good to hear from you and the boys. How are things way out there? We're all about the same here.
Loved the greetin'!

Merry Christmas, Dumbass!

-Joan (Dumbass too)
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 08:44 pm (UTC)
Hey there yourself Laly!

We're holding our own here. Merry Christmas to you too, Dumbass. And to everyone else there as well.


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[User Picture]From: joetheone
2010-12-22 04:12 am (UTC)

Happy Holidays

Oh you two are two much fun and well I like your type of presents sounds great to me. I told Pat all I want is a red ribbon that I can take off with my teeth. Hmm as long as it is not that type of ribbon with wire in it sounds like fun. May your new years be just as good.

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 08:45 pm (UTC)

Re: Happy Holidays

Glad you enjoyed the post! And no, ribbon with wire would not work too well :=).

Happy Holiday and a Happy New Year to you and Pat too!
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[User Picture]From: tizi17
2010-12-22 07:42 am (UTC)
merry christmas!!!
and.. i got those little boot sin your icon this year in wyoming for christmas.. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 08:50 pm (UTC)
A Merry Christmas to you too! And yeah, Ed and Hank love their boot ornaments. Glad you found some on your trip to Wyoming!
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[User Picture]From: argentine65
2010-12-22 11:15 am (UTC)

Ed and Hank

Friends: thank you and blue for your greeting, I certainly wish you the best and please, keep up making us company Best wishes. Martha
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 08:51 pm (UTC)

Re: Ed and Hank

Thank you so much, Martha. And we sure wish you all the best too!
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From: mazaher
2010-12-22 03:57 pm (UTC)
My Xmas gift! you posted! =))
Mistletoe wishes and red winter berries to you all.
And, btw, believe it or not, in my neck of the woods it is quite customary to put up nativity scenes in early December, but withdraw the baby until midnight on the 24th.
Mary and Joseph and the shepherds are chillproof here, to say nothing of the sheep and the angels...
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 09:10 pm (UTC)
I love that custom - And when you think about it, not putting out the baby until midnight on the 24th makes perfect sense.

Even though Ed and Hank didn't find any evidence that the dogs were guilty, Hank stopped at the neighbors house late yesterday just to ask about it and it turns out the baby had been taken, (probably by kids), but nothing was disturbed so they weren't blaming the dogs. Hopefully, whoever took him will follow the customs of your neck of the woods and return him on Christmas Eve. :=)

(And it turns out there was only one sheep all along.)

Best mistletoe wishes to you too!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-30 04:42 pm (UTC)
Just wanted to let you know we're still not sure if the light-up Jesus was returned on Christmas Eve 'cause Ed and Hank went camping over Christmas and by the time they got back this week the nativity had been put away.

At least we hope it was put away. Since their other lights and decorations are still up we're a little worried someone may have kidnapped the whole group...

Happy New Year to you and yours!
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From: mazaher
2010-12-30 05:00 pm (UTC)
Maybe the whole group was kidnapped by an angry mob of Santa's elves, who will demand as ransom a two-weeks group paid holiday in a warm place...
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-30 05:27 pm (UTC)
LOL! I wouldn't blame them. It's bitter cold here right now and Hank's trying to figure out how to get Ed to go somewhere warm for a change.
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[User Picture]From: graciesdaddy
2010-12-22 04:34 pm (UTC)

All the best to you, Hank & Ed!!

And to you, MEAB!! Thanks for keeping us up-to-date on these two!! Take care!

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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-22 09:11 pm (UTC)

Re: All the best to you, Hank & Ed!!

Thanks! And all the best to you and yours too!
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[User Picture]From: lara_pinta
2010-12-24 05:21 am (UTC)
Ed and Hank never disappoint, they are as entertaining as ever here.

I thought this exchange was particularly amusing "Well... Maybe that ain't what happened... So's let's not go jumpin' ta conclusions...""Where the hell else should we jump ta...?"

and this was hilarous "Too bad there ain't no snow on the ground... if'n there was we could least-wise see if'n there'd been a struggle."

Take care and have a great Christmas.

Kind regards
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2010-12-30 04:36 pm (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed it!

Hope you had a great Christmas! Ed and Hank took off to go camping over Christmas 'cause Iris isn't coming to visit 'til next week. (It was nice and cold and very beautiful.)

Happy New Year to you!
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From: (Anonymous)
2010-12-31 05:34 am (UTC)

I'm a little late

But thank you anyways! Always love hearin' from Ed 'n Hank!

Happy New Year!
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[User Picture]From: myeyesaintblue
2011-01-02 11:15 pm (UTC)

Re: I'm a little late

Hank's always late, so no worries there.

Happy New Year to you too!
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