Ed and Hank
Ups 'n downs...
Note: This happened a couple of weeks ago when Ed and Hank got back from camping.
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
"WHOOO HOOO!!! It's happened, Ed...! While we were gone campin'... Tha' Tenth Circuit Court ruled in our favor...!!!"
"That's real good news, Hank."
"Sure as hell is... Especially with tha' dumbass Judge Kelly bein' on tha' court..."
"D'ya think this here dumbass state is still gonna appeal it ta the Supreme Court...?"
"Yep... 'N tha' court stayed their rulin' ta let 'em... so's it don't even go inta effect yet... 'Course tha' Supreme Court migh' not agree ta hear it right off... they migh' wait 'till one a them circuit court rulin's come in against us... which could leave us in limbo fer a while... 'cause all them circuit rulin's are comin' in for us so's far... Which is bad fer the bein' in limbo but good fer all the rulin's in our favor... Or they could refuse ta hear it at all... in which case the stay is dropped 'n that's tha'... we win here in Utah 'n in all other states under tha' 10th court's jurisdiction... which is Colorado, Wyomin', New Mexico, Oklahoma 'n Kansas... 'N then we jus' gotta wait out all the other district courts' rulin's... But if tha' Supreme Court do agree ta hear it... well... Utah ain't only gonna lose again... but it'd end up being the state that's responsible fer equal civil marriage rights goin' nation-wide... 'N... Hell... I can't even put inta words how much I'd love ta see that happen..."
"Think I got some idea."
"Damn. Jus' damn. Hell... I don't even know wha' ta do with m'self... WHOOOO HOOOOO...!!!!!"
"Well... I migh' got some idea wha' ta do with ya..."
"Ya do, huh...?"
"Yep. I sure as hell do. C'mere, Hank..."
Later... after dinner 'n whatnot... (Not necessarily in that order...)
"Tha' were real nice a Bill 'n Betty ta take us out ta dinner ta celebrate some more..."
"Sure were. Too bad they couldn' stick around fer dessert..."
"Lucky fer them though... 'Cause we don't got no dessert..."
"Well... I ain't entire-like sure... but maybe we do got somethin'..."
"We do...? Where...?"
"Ya migh' wanna check over by the breadbox, Hank... Maybe."
"Wha' the hell...?"
"Know it still ain't settled fer sure like... 'n won't be fer a while... But figured it wouldn' hurt ta get a cake ta celebrate... if'n it went our way 'n all... 'N I thought it would..."
"When'd ya...? How'd ya...?"
"Bought the cake a l'il while back... Had ta jus' buy one a them grocery store ones since the real bakery closed down... 'N Betty kept it in her freezer fer me... while we were waitin' on the rulin'..."
"'N them are s'posed ta be us, I take it...?"
"Yep. Knew ya woulda liked ta have had us on top a tha' cake they got us fer our name-changin' party... 'n we didn' get a cake fer the weddin' at all... 'N... Well... I couldn' find no cowboy figures... looked ev'rywhere in town... even the ranch store only had farmers in overalls... No cowboys nowheres... Guess we gone outta style... 'N I weren't about ta be a farmer... So's... I had ta settle fer wrestlers."
"I love 'em, Ed."
"In case yer wonderin'... Yer the one with his mouth wide open."
"Cain't argue with tha'."
"Figured ya couldn'."
"So's, Ed... I can believe ya'd open yer wallet 'n spend money on a cake... But I cain't believe ya actually spent money on them wrestlers too..."
"Weren't easy... Damn wallet kept slammin' shut of it's own accord."
"Where'd ya find them guys...?"
"Tha' Dollar Store."
"So's... Ya had ta spend two whole dollars on 'em...? Jeez, Ed... Ya shouldna splurged so much..."
"Well... I had ta spend one whole dollar... they came in a pack a two."
"Lucky fer me... or there only woulda been one of us on tha' cake."
"Yep. But least-wise it woulda been you."
"But... serious-like, Ed... Thanks fer gettin' a cake... I know ya like pie better... 'N thanks fer thinkin' of puttin' them dumbass wrestlers on it."
"Yeah. Well. I know you like cake better... 'n yer always buyin' me pies..."
"Wait a minute... I think it needs justa l'il somethin' else..."
"Them dumbass wrestlers ain't enough fer ya...?"
"Just a sec..."
A minute later...
"Guess tha' does finish it off... 'n a dumbass kinda way..."
"Sure does. So's... How big a piece d'ya want me ta cut ya, Ed...?"
"How 'bout we jus' cut it in half...?"
"Nah... I'd rather look forward ta leftovers tomorrow... Have some with Bill 'n Betty too..."
"Then why'd ya ask...? Jus' cut me as big a piece as yer willin' to, dumbass."
"So's... you up to another wrestlin' 'bout ta celebrate tonight...? Or didya eat too much cake...?"
"You wouldn' let me eat too much cake."
"Tha' mean yer up ta it...?"
"I'll put some music on..."
"That's an old joke now, dumbass..."
"Old jokes are the best jokes... Besides... This were definite-like one helluva mountain ta climb... Know we still got one more mountain ta climb... 'n then there's still the anti-discrimination mountain... but righ' now I am gonna enjoy ev'ry single note a tha' mormon choir singin'... while I love the hell outta ya..."
"Guess I cain't argue with tha'..."
"You sure as hell cain't. Now... C'mere, Mr. Edward Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-Like..."
"You got it, Mr. Henry Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-Like."
"I sure as hell do."
"'Nother old joke."
"Ain't no joke."
Later the next morning...
"Wha' now, Hank...?"
"It's tha goddamn so-called supreme court... They jus' ruled on tha' Hobby Lobby case... Five ta four... 'N them dumbasses said tha' businesses got the righ' ta deny certain kinds a birth control ta the folks tha' work fer 'em f'n the company owner's religion is against it... They screwed women real good with this one... 'N they mighta screwed us too..."
"Know it's bad fer women... 'n not right at all... but how's it gonna affect us...? Last I checked we didn' need no birth control..."
"Lemme read ya just a l'il part a Ruth Bader Ginsburg's dissent ta their rulin'... 'In a decision of startlin' breadth, the Court holds tha' commercial enterprises, includin' corp'rations, along with partnerships 'n sole proprietorships, can opt out of any law (savin' only tax laws) they judge incompatible with their sincerely held religious beliefs"... she feared tha' with its' decision, the court had ventured inta a minefield.'"
"'N that's how it's bad... real bad... it could be layin' the groundwork fer companies owned by religious nuts ta opt outta providin' any benefits ta someone's legal spouse jus' 'cause their religion don't recognize same-sex marriage..."
"Ya think it could go tha' far...?"
"I don't put nothin' past these religious nuts... 'N the way tha' supreme court interpreted religious freedom is deliberate-like ass-backwards... There ain't no freedom of religion if'n other folks don't got freedom from religion... What they're doin' is allowin' business owners ta force their religious views on their employees... 'n they're defendin' themselves sayin' it's a real narrow decision... but ya know damn well it's jus' the openin' shot... Hell... it could lead ta more laws like they tried in Arizona... allowin' business owners ta refuse service ta gay folks 'cause them 'n their religion don't much care fer us... Damn... I bet these goddamn religious nuts are gonna have one helluva a field day now..."
"Guess the fight's never really over..."
"It sure as hell ain't gonna be over in our lifetime... Not unless the sane voters in this country wake the hell up 'n realize how dangerous these religious nuts are...'specially when they're on tha' goddamn supreme court... 'N they're bad news not jus' fer women 'n fer us... but fer ev'ryone... "
"D'ya... uh... D'ya think...if'n tha' supreme court do agree ta hear tha' Utah case... d'ya think this migh' be a bad sign tha' they migh' rule against our righ' ta be hitched legal-like...? Decide ta let it be left up ta each state 'n all...?"
"Damn. I sure as hell hope not... But... nah... I don't think so... The tide's turnin' too strong 'gainst the opposition... 'n there's no way they can justify it while upholdin' the U.S. Constitution... 'Course... thought there'd be no way they could rule the way they did on tha' Hobby Lobby case neither... But... part a the reason they felt like they could get away with it is on accounta Obama opened the door fer 'em by allowin' church-owned organizations that employ folks that don't belong ta their religion... like religious schools 'n hospitals... an exemption from providin' birth control at all ta their employees... 'N them bigots on tha' court used that ta run with this 'n expand on it... So's I'm thinkin' tha' were diff'rent 'nough ta not affect our fight fer civil marriage rights... 'specially with all them other circuit courts rulin' for us..."
"Hope yer right."
"'Course... it could be because they know they cain't go 'gainst our rights ta civil marriage... on accounta all the district courts that've come down on our side... 'n that's why they ruled this way in tha' Hobby Lobby case... ta set it up the precedent now ta give them religious bigots a way ta keep the hate alive 'gainst gay folks in the future..."
"Yeah. 'Damn' is righ'. 'N... ya know... there's one other real dumbass thing tha' Supreme Court could do ta part-like appease them bigoted states... 'N that's say states don't gotta let gay folks get married... but then say them same states least-wise gotta legal-like recognize the marriage of any gay folks who got hitched legal-like in any other state... Tha' way all gay folks can get married legal-like 'n have it recognized in whatever bigoted state they live in... but them bigoted states still got a way ta official-like hate on us.."
"Makin' folks travel ta other states jus' ta be hitched legal-like in the state they live in...? Tha' don't make a lick a sense..."
"Yeah, well... neither did tha' Hobby Lobby rulin'... 'N if'n they do end up doin' somethin' like tha'... then we're back ta waitin' 'til 'nough states make it legal-like tha' Congress migh' be able ta do somethin' 'bout it fer the whole country... 'n tha' migh' take a helluva long time... Or 'til them religious nuts are outnumbered on tha' so-called 'supreme court'... which don't look like it'll happen no time soon..."
"So's... could be we might hafta climb a few more mountains than we figured on..."
"Sure as hell hope not. But... guess we migh' not got us no choice... 'specially with tha' Hobby Lobby rulin' makin' relgious nuts think it's fair game on discriminatin' against whoever they wanna discriminate against... 'n we're number one on their list..."
"Well... I know I ain't been fightin' the fight with ya as much as I shoulda been all along... But... I'll be righ' behind ya from now on..."
"I may need ya in front a me... draggin' me up them damn mountains..."
"Well... Wherever ya need me... that's where I'll be..."
"Now that there is an offer waaay too good ta pass up..."
"You goin' back on yer word...?"
"I just had ta go 'n open my big mouth..."
"Well... That's a real good place ta start... I need tha' mouth of yers on mine right about now... ta distract me from my brain racin' all over hell 'n back... 'N then I'll figure out where I need all yer other parts as we go along..."
"Jus' don't break nothin... Ya know I ain't as bendable-like as I used ta be..."